And YES, I finally DID !!

(sry! but as u read u 'll know that this post is a bit date)

YES, I finally DID! (not expected tho). I knew I would do it one day. I knew it would happen sometime, but I didn’t expect it coming SOOOO soon. Man! some things steer across you so fast, that you are unaware of the consequences they have on you in those influencing moments. But then you do realize what have you done...afterwards.

These things are very imperative and they tend to pre-empt other activities and decisions in order to give ephemeral pleasures. The feelings they create are exquisite but the actual desire very painful. These things arrive instantaneously and straight-away affect the top floor of the body, that too in an adverse manner; which in turn gives all directions to our body to perform uncontrollable impulsive acts.

And YES I finally DID! I did all the crap things mentioned above, resulting in losing my new year resolution. Ya! I successfully killed my 5-day old (new yr resolution), which was to open my eyes at 6.00 a.m. everyday under any circumstances. Okie, in simpler terms: the resolution was to awake at 6 am in the morning. And, now the story how I broke my resolution,

1 a.m., 6th Jan 2007, me arrived at my compu desk after a long night walk with Stanley (my neighbour). Yep! we do night walks in Dec and Jan also and reminisce mostly about his [past + present] break-ups and all crap topics of universe like – is Pluto a planet? Security measures of our residents association, Cricket, Latest movies,................Like everyday, I went for my walks at 11 p.m. and retired back to my place at around 1 a.m.

Further more steps…On reaching my compu desk…I found my desk being utilized as a couch by a piece of paper! "Paper" yes a piece of paper, I kept staring at that. Something in bold broad black ink was written on it…it read

"WAKE ME AT 4 a.m. PLEASE" - AMAN

This was the message left by my bro, who wanted me to wake him up early so that he could riffle through this syllabus, make ‘farre’ n other cheating essentials and combat his Chemistry Pre-Board Exam. Man! nowdays, brothers like me just have value equivalent to an alarm watch…for sale. Sensing the importance of the message, my new year resolution faded away from my mind. I committed myself to help my bro meanwhile trampling my new year resolution. From 1 a.m. to 4 a.m., I dedicated my 3 hour gap to songs; Erected a playlist comprising of hits like Duur (Strings), Lonely (Akon), Bandeh (Indain Ocean), Septic, Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson), For U (The Calling) and accordingly to the mood…Wake Me Up When September Ends (Green Day) and many more….

Finally, my compu’s right hand bottom-most corner showed 4:00 AM…I went in search for my bro, discovered him under two blankets…and presented a third degree. Third degree in sleeping includes slapping on unshaven cheeks, production of a shouting alarm (keeping in mind others don’t get disturbed), etc etc. After a few minutes and my successful third degree, I was anticipating a ‘thank you’…but…as always

Me: "abbey uth yaar, chaar baj gaye" (okie! buddy, wake up its four)
He (after gaining consciousness) : "tu paagal to nahi hai! kyu utha diya" (r u mad, why did you wake me up)
Me: "abbey tune hi to paper pe likha tha ki chaar baje utha dena, phir" (man! u only left a message on that paper saying wake me at 4 am, then)

He: "abbey aaj sat hai, exam kal tha, sone de bhai" (dude! today is sat, exam went yesterday, let me sleep bro)

ME: "Good! I knew I would lose it but in this way….GOSH"

Toiletry Mystery //this is also a reality !! (:

(disclaimer - numbering in the pic is done at random and not roll number wise)

As my college reopened , I noticed a very unusual change. This change was carried out by ‘The Building & Const. Dept.’ of our university during the course of winter vacations. This change is now showing and smelling drastic consequences and many funny repercussions (read further to know more...)

the REASON from THE PAST –

Owing to the increase in seats (thanks to reservations, etc, etc…), one day our college decided to have one more floor (THE ‘third’ floor). That meant, many tones of concrete over our heads (we currently have our lounges type classrooms at second floor). To accomplish this floor, ‘The Building & Const. Dept.’ was called.

the SITUATION from THE PRESENT –

“Don’t think about past, don’t think about future…think only of PRESENT” (this is an ancient saying which sounds interesting sometimes!).

BUT currently, the PRESENT is pathetic. Why? Without further ado, let me narrate you the PRESENT’s picture. In making of THE ‘third’ floor, ‘The Building & Const. Dept.’ has demolished all the toilets of our second floor; leaving only one MALE toilet to cater the whole Electronics Engg. Dept. (except 1st yr), whole Compu. Engg. Dept. (except 1st yr), M.Sc (Electronics) and some high-profile CIVIL labs. In addition to the students of these courses, their exist an additional group of users – the labour party…obviously, guys who are putting the concrete above us all day also need to loo….

Very easy to imagine the consequences…

Firstly, the smelly reason. The toilet ply the nitrogen enriched smell to its potential users FREE OF COST all day. Post-lunch time is a treat for Ayurvedic believers (a fully-on nose block can be completed nursed with its un-aromatic pungent smell).

Next catastrophic consequence can be directly related to the basic principle of Economics…”demand more supply less”. Not to forget about ‘the population factor’, it too makes the matter worse. In case of overcrowding, Queues are formed and only FIFO algorithm is implemented i.e. First In First Out. (for clear understanding, imagine the crowded queues outsides those Mother Diary milk booths). Just in case, an emergency case turns up, option of pre-emption can be availed.

Adding to the misery is the location factor which indirectly causes many more problems. The lone-standing male's toilet lies very far. If you decide for a loo visit after 50% of the ongoing class is completed, be assured of 5-10 min gone while u attend yourself in toilet (missing the on-going class). And then you never know, when your teacher decides to call your roll numbers and walk off. As you reappear in your chaotic classroom, you curse yourself (imagine cursing yourself for PEEing...simply unimaginable). The purpose of college coming remains unserved - the precious attendance is lost. Sab kiye karaye pe paani phear diya (water thrown on your all-most finished project). What a purgatory?

Ahh one more! There used to a wash basin nearby earlier (in this current world, it too has met its fate). It was earlier used for two basic purposes - washing hands and as notice board. Various different societies of our college used to paste there posters for memberships in inch to inch gap positions inside the elite area above the steel tap. Now that elite area is vacant. The nearest wash-basin is located inside the premises of girls toilet (and, we aren't that decent to go n use it). The next closest washing area lies in that lone-standing toilet (which I have been mentioning earlier). Another consequence - the non-functioning tap has forced many mouths to quit chum-chum of somebody else's lunch (thanks to our laziness). (Ask to urself) Who will mess around their fingers, snatching for every byte, getting dirtier hands, going to wash them, who wants to take so many pains? So, no wash basin -> no eating. Na raha baas, na baji been (no bamboo, so no bamboo products).

the HOPE for THE FUTURE - Lets hope, the architects responsible for the 3rd floor design have some toilets on their drawing sheets...

First Anniversary...CHEERS to net

This DAY (13th Feb 2007) marks the first anniversary of my broadband connection. What an year it has been! WOW !!
INTERNET, for me has served me as the most PRACTICAL platform, one can get in this world. As this juncture, I would like to thank (a sincere one) to MTNL combo plan (TRIBAND plan B) for being so generous ISP.

One year has gone, and so is my way of computing. One year before, I used to browse through Windows's IE; now I use Mozilla FIREFOX (which is damn better than that). Even the operating system has changed, from Windows to LINUX (Suse 10.2).

Before my broadband, I used to rely on dial-up (dunno ask the speed). For browsing on a dial-up connection, you ought to give pain to your eyes (reason - a descent speed on dial-up i.e. 33kbps can only be achieved at most undescent times....something around 3 am). And what to say about the download speed (:

Due to the net constraint, I didn't had any yahoo/gmail id...used only rediffmail (which I still admit is fast than both yahoo and gmail). Things have changed now ;)...now rediffmail gets the lowest priority.

In one year of my internet-working, I have seen countless forwards. Initially, I used to see each n every pic that was mailed to me (from New mobilephones to Nigerian bony kids). But now email-perception has changed (most of which can be simply defined as 'crap').

Also, I recall my first chat on yahoo mesg. With no soul in my buddy list, I entered the yahoo's chat rooms. As an obvious fact, my first chat was with a girl. And the second question she asked was, "WHATs ur ASL ?"...me directly went to google, made an honest search, explored some topics like "A.____ Sign Language", "A____ Symbolic Language", etc...and even managed to explore some scientific topics like Asynchronous Switch Logic (a part of my course one year back). Sorry, but I can't narate you my embarrassing chat more...;)

Lastly, internet has given some ULTIMATE information, which won't fade away from my memory (forever, I guess). Esp. this (SPEAKing PICtures) blog...which you are reading :D

Traffic Signal....jump it

Rating - a permanent RED light.
After page3 and chandni bar, more non-commercial stuff from Madhu Bhandarkar. But this time, I am sure it won't be acclaimed that much.

THE PLOT :-
Traffic Signal is a story of guys whom you meet everyday on roads either in the form of handicaps or pirated-book sellers. Must say! ...READ FURTHER

Microsoft@Linux Asia, 2007

After last year's 'GRAND' Linux Asia at Delhi, this year it again revisited the auditoriums of IHC (Indian Habitat Centre). The three day conference stretched from 31^st Jan to 2^nd Feb. But frankly speaking, the show was quite disappointing this time around. The theme of this year's Linux Asia seems to be titled towards business and not on innovation. Many open source promoters like Red Hat and Mandrake remained absent this time around from the sponsor's list. Also, no major open source idol was present except Klaus Knopper (creator of Knoppix). But the most astonishing thing was the presence of Microsoft. Microsoft made its presence felt as the interoperatability sponsor in this year's Linux Asia.

And took the best opportunity for advertising its new operating system, VISTA. What an idea to hype their product in front of open source distributors!! Not suprisingly Microsoft had the biggest stall amidst all other sponsors...through which...they were publicizing MS's new os - VISTA. Some more products were also there, but me will be concentrating on VISTA only.

Ques) Is it worth-it?
Ans) A big NO (if you use Linux), otherwise just NO (if you use XP).

Ques) Ok! I am still on XP, then should I switch over to VISTA?
Ans) READ - FURTHER

I got a 40 min chance to play on that machine and sadly, I wasn't impressed at all. The basic theme of VISTA is to provide a good visual experience to the user. BUT in order to achieve the BEST output, the kind of inputs which VISTA demands is appalling. Note: for best outputs, you need to have 2GB RAM (costs Rs. 5000), in addition to that, a good processor (P4 or Dual). Also, the opearating system itself takes 7GB of Hard Disk, plus the 'Aero' desktop demands 46 MB of RAM at any given time.

Ques) What's new in it?
Ans) Front end functionalities: VISTA's USP - Highly Updated 'graphical user interface' (GUI) with 'Aero' interface that opens in translucent panes, a good looking sidebar, media centre enabled, groove configuration (personal desktop speciality), IE 7 with better security, improved search cum navigation mechanism. Back-end functionalities: add-ons in back-up and restore facilities, improved security, speech recognition.
(reminder - please check your PC's capablity)

Also, these are new things if you are an XP user (subject to your hardware config.). For Linux users - no such special findings (but you will find the GUI really adorable).

Comparison b/t Linux & Vista :-

1) At present too, Linux distros (like FC 6, SUSE 10.2 and many more) provide you with a great GUI - 3D desktop sidespining around a cube, shaky windows, etc.
2) Also, security wise, Linux is unmatched. An interesting incident - on being asked "Difference b/t Linux & VISTA on the basis of security", the MS's technical guy replied "What great has open source delieved...just firefox"...shear frust shown, I guess!!
3) My next point - inclusion of IE 7 but then you have mozilla firefox from long time back.
4) The non-3D featues of Vista can be achieved by an XP user very easily. Many innovative and good looking downloadable themes are available on the net for free.
5) The big reason - U Have To PAY for Vista (cost of buying depends - pirated / original) BUT Linux comes FREE!!

(Just go to any distro site n download for free....burn on CD/DVD...install...play)

MY Answer for Ques No. 2 i.e. switching from XP to Vista
my word on that - WAIT. I can't write NO because if your neighbour installs Vista, he will surely hype and mock at others...then you too will switch......

BUT...then, you always have the option of Linux....go for that and join the open source community( in which, Nobody (& Everybody) owns the community) ;)

Some pics of my SUSE desktop...a treat to eyes ;)

Desktop's Rotations :

TRANSLUCENT panes @ SUSE's DESKTOP

(click at pics for full view)

oh!! 1 min guys....before leaving see some more features of VISTA (click) (;

(Disclaimer - I may be missing some pivotal advantages and noteworthy disadvantages of Vista and some more issues esp. various technicalities such as cache memory usuage, type of allocation system used, etc etc......please mention down in comments)

(c) Ankit Gupta, 2007

MISSION ONE - M.R.P - Rs. 5 crore only

(click at the pics for full view)

YZR M1

One of the best bikes in the whole universe needs no introduction though. And all I can say is that “ITZ worth 5 CRORES”...thats it.

It a bike for every single college goer, for every single bike lover, for every human who loves speed.

M1 stands for 'MISSION ONE'. The bike achieves its massive popularity for not only its speed but also because of its charismatic looks. On any day, this debonair spiffy bike can overtake other lecherous bikes for looks.

I know, you surely will adore this shapely shape...actually if you dump a small tiny piece of brain + some breathing + some living capabilities into M1...might be better looking than your girlfriend... ;)

some WORTH-IT stuff :
1) LOOK at every single part/piece/bolt/nut of which M1 is made up (link)
2) Some very basics of M1 (top speed, weight, brakes, clutch type, etc..)

(The majestic snapshots of M1 :- courtesy Vishal Pipraiya, Auto-Xpo '06, New Delhi)

NO "Republic Day" Parade "LiVE"

(Well Well Well!! its 12 @ midnight...its 26th 2007...another indispencible day marking our Freedom Struggle...so here is my first hand unfortunate experience about our previous year's Republic Day...26th Jan of the past year (2006)...a day as important as this)

Republic Day Parade LIVE

NO! NO! NO! Please don’t go by the title. The title of this article ‘Republic Day Parade LIVE’ looks like the heading of an essay (which used to come in our primary classes and also used to carry quite a considerable marks-weight-age); however the sentiments attached to it are much more important.

Wednesday 25th Jan 2006, as I reached my home, I got some really shocky stuff lying on my bed. That shocky stuff was nothing but the so called INVITATIONS from Ministry of Defense to see the parade. On opening the invitation, it read (in italic English111VivaceBT fonts):-

SEE THE PHOTOGRAPH ABOVE

Bottommost there was an inclusion in brackets which read in the same fonts but smaller size, that: - Please be seated by 9.30 a.m. In addition to this invitation, was a VIP parking pass, a non-understandable map of the uncountable parking lots ( see the photograph above adacent to our 'TRICOLOUR') and some more papers…all sufficient to get you that feeling of being a VIP Indian. So! Why was this shocky? Easy guess - because I don’t know anybody in my whole parivar who could have arranged these VIP passes. Seeing that VIP pass started the process of un-practical dreaming within my head (I started dreaming that I would be sitting next to VVIPs getting a clear view of the whole parade especially the various manoeuvres of our advanced Sukohi MKI 30s …simply class-apart...which thanks to Doordarshan, we common Indians can’t see most of the time).

Next day, 26th Jan 2006 morning, when most of my friends were residing in their dreams, I was on my feet early morning. Accompanying me to the parade, were my younger brother and my cousin (both of them didn’t want to go but somehow got convinced …thanks to my lecture titled Once-In-A-Lifetime-Opportunity which I delivered to them…though my sincere apologies to them now).

Our pilgrimage to Rajpath from Safdarjung Madarssa on foot was actually quite unique. How often do you find yourself with a VIP pass (your feet on road and not in a deluxe car…which would be a more appropriate option) among a crowd, 90% of them carrying a ticket of denomination not exceeding Rs. 50.0? While going towards our destination we encountered quite a lot of people asking us for extra passes…first symptom of being a VIP. All the way we kept asking the policewallas bout the VIP stall; the only answer we received: aage chalo aage...(move ahead)

That’s the end of the good part of the story (if at all it was good!). Our smooth walk (the process of walking was executing at a speed of 3 km/hr) was stalled near UPSC (Union Public Service Commission). The scene totally changed here. My misconception about the number of people who witness the Parade changed; yes, today also guys came to see Parade in uncountable numbers. The disappointment slowly started appearing as the stall near UPSE suddenly invented a problem (as told to us by policewallas)…how can a stall develop a problem hours before the commencement of Parade? God knows why they do rehearsals? Then we were asked to move to our new destination located near Vigyan Sadan.

This was the moment! The moment of disappointment! every dream of seeing The Parade soiled amidst a sea of common Humans (& not just Indians). Entry to all the stalls was stopped at sharp 9:19:35 IST…reason given: stalls were full…how could anybody sit on somebody else’s seat on The Republic Day’s dawn? Multiple barricades welcomed all the visitors, who were either V.I.P. pass holders or legal ticket holders. But a unique thing which you don’t often see in India - equal behavior with an Indian and a hot phirang. Yes! At least something to say …after all; it was our Republic Day.

About the impression on phirangies – well; there was a group of hot phirang girls (carrying a bisleri bottle and their 500 Rs. tickets) in front of us shouting ‘BULLSHIT RASCALS’ (referring to policemen). To control the public, a loudspeaker was introduced which kept shouting “move towards the India Gate stand”. How many of you know that nowdays loudspeakers also have ringtones embedded in them? By the way the default tone in this loudspeaker was “aage chaalo aage…” (sung by an unknown policeman).

This was enough for my cousin and my younger brother, but I forced them to move towards the India Gate stall (thanks to my affection towards IAF fighter jets...Su MKI 30s...again great machines). On reaching our new destination…again the same…& THIS TIME - it was enough.

THIS WAS IT! with no means of road transport available, we again had to take help from our respective two legs. This time the journey was from India Gate to Dilli Haat bus stand. While going back, actually three souls were walking – Sardar Patel (embedded in me), Gandhi (in my cousin) and Shaheed Bhagat Singh (in my 15 yr old brother). For the first time in my life I thought mouth is a more sensible organ than our limbs…I concluded this after seeing (sorry! It should be hearing) the bashing of policemen, politicians and bureaucrats and many more… done by my brother …with the help of words…thankfully.

While going back we saw young lads on their Hero cycles, who also wished us Happy Republic Day (this line is written JUST to console our true patriots).

Well! You always have to pay for your sins. As compensation to my two companions, I had to pay out their tickets for the movie Rang De Basanti; another inspirational movie which will come and go.
HOPE U R NJOYING UR FREEDOM!!

JAI
HIND

TV news + Xxxxxxxxxxxtreme Entertainment

After the implementation of CAS, almost all watchable channels have vanished and now you are forced to watch some really absurd stuff. On 5 Jan 2007, at 9:00 p.m., I was watching * NEWS (free-to-air channel) for a round-up of daily news, but at 9:30 p.m., I came across a special half hour bulletin on current India-SA series titled “Hum Kissi Se Kam Nahi” (Mathematically speaking, they believed that they can’t lie on left side of the symbol ‘<’). It was actually a special episode enchasing our Indian cricket team performance on the 4th day of the Cape Town test against SA. The anchor was in the mood of bashing the Indian Cricket Team…and he did that too…they virtually slaughtered Sehwag. The channel broadcasted clips of Sehwag’s reckless shot _____ times (actually lost the count). The language used to describe him had super-shocking sarcasm in it and boye! the facial expressions of the anchor was borrowed directly from those “I will kill you” movie lines.

One more day, one more bad result, one more match lost, one more series lost…

AND This time, I landed at Pakau Tak (it claims to be India’s best news channel) at 9:30 p.m.. They aired a show namely “Hum Nahi Sudhenge” (We won’t change). Pakau Tak is famous for its cricket serials and innovative names like “Dada ki Dadagiri” (big brother in big bad mood), “Jaffar ka Jalwa” (Jaffar’s heroics), etc. Its sometimes gives you an impression that somebody in the Pakau Tak team is doing a PhD on cricket and is researching through the Pakau Tak shows. Also, in the channel are two brave man, who have dedicated their life to cricket reporting – Chikrant Gupt and Fundeep Rajguru.
Coming back to the show, the host this time around was Chikrant Gupt. Others in the eminent panels of analyzers included Yashpal Sharma, Shunya-Dishum Bajpee and Fundeep Rajguru (live from SA). Missing humans included names of former Indian cricketers like Madan Lal, Saba Karim, etc. The discussion started and simultaneously Yashpal Sharma went into ultra criticizing mode. He wanted a investigation about playing of unfit Munaf Patel and exclusion of Harbhajan Singh (which is a damn valid point).
But our reporters went one step ahead. They started a really hot discussion within themselves about the Indian cricket team performance…Chikrant got the better job of "asking" while this partner reporter, Fundeep Rajguru (live from SA) got the job of "answering"…both mingled and complemented well with each other and the end-product they created was worth watching…seriously not many comedy shows can generate that amount of excitement which they managed. so0O...
Watch these channels…Superb time pass entertainment all around.

guru

Gurubhai…gurubhai…aave re, Gurubhai..gurubhai..chhave re!

The first major release of 2007 won’t cull your expectations. Also, this will be the first time when Abhishek Bachaan will be tested as a ‘solo-crowd-puller’ after establishing himself as an actor. His earlier FAMOUS hits (Buffmaster, KANK, Sarkar, Dhoom, etc) always had some good supporting actors, but this time; he is individual.

In ‘Guru’, Abhishek is paired with Ashwariya Rai, who previously gave a dud act in Dhoom 2. A lot of speculation is made about their pairing up for life…so, in that sense too, a lot is on stake for both of them (esp. after the miserable showing of Umraoo Jaan). The Ash-Abhishek duo has also acted together in movies like Kuch Na Kaho & Dhaaii Akshar Prem Ke, which turned out to be super-flops.
So…is it worth it?
...READ FURTHER

Book Review : Anything for you, ma'am - Tushar Raheja

(click at the PIC for full view)

“Highly recommended for all veterans of campus life in India…one of the funniest books in recent times…” - The Hindu

This line mentioned at the top of the book + the fantasy of 5.someone, attracted me to this book. Also, since I am too slogging out my engineering life, I had enough curiosity in me to read about an engineer’s love story (the book’s tag line).

Ratings – lets rate this one on a normalized scale of 10 (10 being the maximum assigned to 5.someone while 0 being the minimum assigned to ON@TCC; both authored by Chetan Bhagat). On this scale I would rate it as 2.75 /10.

The standard of English used by the author (Tushar Raheja) is more formal compared to Chetan Bhagat’s style of English narration. But I guess, this back fired on him as usage of formal language cuts out the extent of comicness in the lines (that’s what I noticed esp. in the first 100 pages of the book).

All the twists (majority of them) amidst the first 194 pages does not contain that suspense which binds the interests of the readers (with few exception esp. when Prof. wants to call the protagonist’s parents, etc). One more big disappointed was, the manner in which the suspense is ended, even in plots where the author has managed to create good suspense, the revealing is too easily done.

The author employs Mr. Fate (basically his luck) for getting into numerous damnedest situations (which do feel realistic, nothing wrong in that) but, immediately after getting into trouble, again Mr. Fate comes out to help…which keeps on happening every often. Bottom-line : most of times, he creates a trouble-plot, the story behind how he comes out of that plot won’t make you more-read-binding. Also, one big feature which I would like to see in his future books is usage of good clear sub-headings. “(the last Oct), (Dec, the year before), (Dec, this year)” type headings do puzzle sometimes.

Post page no. 194 contains the best of the book. Good trouble-plots created with some interesting ends (some were really unimaginable, some were guessable, a few of them were written to improper proportions esp. that Bandits-Railway Police encounter...he could have made it more interesting)…

Good Points –
The author is young (a year older than me engineering wise). Narrating skills were well-written throughout the book. Plus I like way, he has marketed the book – that CL tag will inspire everybody for sure…good marketing management skills.
Its not easy to find publishers, who are ready to publish your art at such age (that’s what I have heard)…a good effort tho……

Its no match for 5.sum1, but I rate this book better than ON@TCC where ‘GOD calls’…irrational work…

Some lines from the book –

“…Biobull. Imagine serving the world by sitting on the potty. You’d be a millionaire brother with your current excreting abilities,”…

“One can not stop crossing roads honking that the next truck will smash him to pulp.”

“Anything for you, ma’am,” I said and hung up. I pushed the hundred rupee note in the stall owner’s hand and ran with Rajit, shouting, “Keep the change…”
The call was priceless.

Bhagam Bhag...prey of faulty promotion

Jump, Run, Hop, Pop, Pounce, Caper with full energy and a make a mess all around…that’s all one anticipate when one riffle through the title. Sorry to disappoint you but that isn’t the case all the time.

The movie’s plot is somewhat similar to Nassuruddin Shah starred Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron. Bhagam Bhag is a murder mystery…(and since it is directed by comedy creator Priyadarshan…expectations of comedy embedded in the movie are all vice). The cast of movie includes Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal, Govinda, Lara Dutta, Arbaaz Khan, Jackie Shroff, while for incorporating hilarious smiles, director Priyadarshan has once again included his regulars like Rajpal Yadav, Shaki Kapoor, Manoj Joshi, Sharat Saxena and many more....READ FURTHER

Me, ADOBE & Happiness…“Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge hum teen yaar”

Ok! Don’t be astonished seeing the title…clarifications for the title will be delivered later.

Recently, Master Ananth Gupta (s/o Naresh Gupta) was kidnapped by a part timer TV actor. Your first question – Who is Naresh Gupta and why did the TV actor deceide to kidnap his child? Naresh Gupta is the Managing Director of Adobe operations, INDIA…and believe me it’s a very big post!!

The boy was successfully kidnapped and also successfully rescued by our superb U.P. police (who even managed to catch that TV actor who kidnapped Mr. Ananth!!). And as expected, as soon as Ananth returned home, all MEDIA rained towards him and asked him some really challenging questions….like “aapko khana diya mummy ne?”, “aapko poochi di didi ne?”, “aapko uncle pyaar karte the?”, etc…etc…but the Master gave them the best answers possible.

Ananth’s interview was telecasted all afternoon under the sub-heading ‘ExclusivE’.

A couple of days after….while I was surfing all through various news channels, I came across PEE NEWS. I rate that channel as un-viewable for myself. But today it successfully caught my attention (again that ‘ExclusivE’ stuff)....READ FURTHER

Kabul Express!!...a bit different

Tons of tributes to Yash Raj (YR) first up before starting my review. He has started a unique transformation in the movie industry now. How? Well now with 90% of multiplexes not showing YR movies (lately Dhoom 2, Kabul Express), the moviebuffs are benefiting in two ways. Firstly, is the obvious reason of Monetary Gains, thanks to him, the cost of a movie ticket is now Rs 60 (normal upper stall rate) instead of Rs 150 (flat Delhi’s multiplex rate). Second reason is more important! the so-called ‘good crowd’ is now shifting to these halls…good for non-earning college goers ;)...READ FURTHER

Review of 'SEPTIC' songs

Although I haven’t heard the album in all….but still reviewing what’s available on the site :-

Firstly, the name of the band – ‘SEPTIC’ the name is a very well thought one and matches perfectly with the band’s blend of songs. It encrypts in it the pain of an unhealed wound whose screams are not heard by any lived soul. The band’s first album ‘INJECTED’ is again very well named and contains three songs – ‘Filth Of Fate’, ‘Alive’ and ‘I Feel So Small’. Actually the idea of namely there first upbringing as ‘INJECTED’ is quite interesting (just think on bio-scientific lines…If you go to a doc with a ‘SEPTIC’ wound, the first thing you expect is to be ‘INJECTED’).X

Review of songs (in ascending order of rating points)

1) Filth Of Fate – The starting is really cool with awesome bass and drums combo. But as soon as the vocals, drums shade away and seriously could have been better. The vocals score in between (esp. when that “aai aai” comes…very well sung). It’s a fast paced song but unfortunately drums in the song (apart of the starting) aren’t that good, which u’ll expect after listening to the first 15 sec. Well you expect that after hearing these type of songs, some energy is pumped into u, but unfortunately I didn’t feel anything like that. But do look out for the starting of the song….terrific bass!!
Rating – 7/10 (so-so)

2) I Feel So Small – ‘Soothing feel’ is what you get once you hear it. Melody of the song is very sweet and composition is very nicely done. If I am forced to find a loophole in the song…again the ears points to drums…but then I am forced too. The USP of the song lies in the last line of every stanza “Yet I Feel So Small”…very true and sung class-apart.
Rating – 8/10 (worth it)

3) Alive – For me this song is Septic’s masterpiece. While I was hearing it for the first time, I extended the song and the first words I heard was “….Alive; for u”…and immediately my thoughts went to “U know its true; everything I do, I do it for u”…So Far So Good…Bryan Adams…what a comparison first up!! Alive is a low paced number and well written. The lyrics perfectly match the ‘Septic’ theme of the band. Well! since just 2 min for Alive is provided on the site, I reserve my rest of reviewing for future wishing the band ‘SEPTIC’ all the healing wishes from my side..lol
Rating – 8.5/10 (you won’t be disappointed if u store this one on our mobile…as I have…with a hope that the full songs will be available soon)...CHEERS

GPL vs EPL

Amid all the shit on TV, I just saw one more…sympathy for my much poor eyes. While surfing, I just encountered a unique useless time-pass show…the title being GRL (I presume that, since no clarity was given to the title). The show was being aired on MBV (Masala BV)…may be a sister channel of MTV.

The modus operandi of the serial was simple :- “how to flirt and its gains”.

As the nautanki started, a girl named ‘Mayuri’ introduced herself. According to her, she was almost a dentist. She also informed us about her SEX appeal and disclosed that it lay in her eyes (oof, wish my eyes were deaf and the ears were blind…at least I would have rendered myself from the self-praise of Mayuri). She also blabbered about why should we watch the rest of the show!

OK…breaking news…I just figured out what GRL (if it was the title ever) meant; it simply meant a GIRL.
Two vellas (Shakti and Max…READ FURTHER...

Casino Royale!!...Royal...Is it?

I never expected this!! But sometimes it happens. Hollywood is also going Bollywood way…

The movie’s best part came up front, at the beginning amidst some awesome graphics and cartoon-ization of Bond. But, as soon as the first min of the movie got over, I saw a short-height, sturdy-built “Daniel Craig” jumping, running, sprinting all around in an African place like our very own Krish (remember that masked ‘Chotu’ Roshan’s avatar who used to jump n run all the time). The new Bond seriously showed some high dose of testosterone in him. His first chase sequence involved hopping over buildings, hanging from cranes, fighting very very very and very high in the upper layers of our atmosphere, running like Ben Johnson, etc etc…hardcore action at its best!! (click on the picture for the full view of the new BOND). In the picture now arrives...Read Further...

"Abbey ye kya hai !! hataoo isko"

“Abbey yeh kiya hai!! hataoo isko”…these were the first words which my mouth vomited after my not-so-unique eyes focused on my 15yr old Onida screen. The channel was SET MIN. So! Do I need to say more? Yes! I do…after all standing in front of bhootbangla won’t tell you the names of those bhoot/bhootnis who rule the bhootbangla.
(A word of caution - plz donot view the picture on your LEFT...it could be life-threatening!!)... Read Further

Simplest LINUX installation manual

Renowned web-designer and open source user “Mr. DEVESH KUMAR” (alias DK) has contributed to world by giving “10-STEP MANUAL for starters”…it can be generalized for all LINUX flavours.

1) Insert the CD in your CD/DVD drive.
(make sure your system is configured as ‘boot from CD/DVD’ in Bios setup)

2) ?boot:/? will appear on screen. Just hit enter.
(let Anaconda do his work for a while)
Note: anaconda is one of the installer for Linux flavors.

3) Choose normal options such as language, country, time etc as your choice on the screens.

4) Configure your boot loader (choose one Grub or LILO) and default boot partition
i.e. Linux or other.

5) Now hopefully you will reach on partition menu screen
( It’s a very important step for a successful Linux installation??. So, do it carefully)
a) choose custom or manually partition option on the screen.
b) make a free space as you or your hard disk afford.
c) now create a ROOT partition i.e. mount point=?/? space = 3gb or more
d) another partition SWAP i.e. mount point = swap space = _____ ( this valve should be more than twice your RAM, i.e. if you have a RAM of 256, this the valve >512).

Note: SWAP partition is not always needed but in fact it should be.

6) At this juncture, half of your task is over.
Now choose your root password and login
name (root password should be easy to remember otherwise Linux become Hell)

7) At this step you will find a package selection menu
a) choose ‘minimal’ or ‘default’ option on the screen
(it will only minimum package required to run Linux and take least time(10-15 min) to install)
b) Choose ‘select all’ option
( it will install all packages selected by you but take more time ( 40-60 min) to install).

8) Just wait…and enjoying the merry TUX
(the animal you see in the surrounding pictures is actually the LINUX mascot...TUX).

9) Another important step for your system configuration. Here you should check your
system drivers specially Graphics and Sound Cards, otherwise it will goes in text mode
after Rebooting.

10) Take out your disk from drive and Reboot your system.

11) Once your computer restarts, you see ‘GRUB loading’.
Press any key to access menu of different OS on your computer.
Once the starting process ends…open up your newly loaded LINUX OS (again a reminder DO REMEMBER YOUR USERNAME and PASSWORD”…and once you log in
enjoy the cool desktops!!

UBUNTU desktop.
FEDORA desktop.
MANDRIVA desktop.
SUSE desktop.

Remember LINUX is free!! and may the 'SOURCE' be with u

Note: if you feel some problems during installation just mail Mr. Devesh Kumar at dost4frnd@yahoo.com or post your doubts here!!

Sutta n Dope; I can tell u 'ONE' reason for which guys turn up to these

Hello! What I’m going to write may be controversial & may sent u into tizzy but with what I have seen in reality, that’s one reason which ‘IS TRUE n PRAGMATIC’ (though after reading through, I still hope that you are right…not to smoke, not to dope).

First of all! its important to know

‘WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INSERT THAT LEAN FAG STICK INTO YOUR MOUTH n START HAVING THOSE SMOKY PUFFS?’

In layman terms, smoking gives a relaxation to your mind, you become somewhat more alert & conscious and your power of visualization/thinking/dreaming gets diminished partially (all these things won’t be noticed to a chain smoker). If you are a non-smoker (non-chain smoker) or a starter, you will realize though it may not be instantaneous.

So, is there a reason which can explain cogently whether it’s worth enough to be a smoker INSPITE of all those numerous and detrimental diseases (see any anti-smoking book or browse any website n u will meet gamut of diseases ranges from simple coughing to deleterious cancers). You may think NO, but still there is ONE.

The situation where you can find a supportive answer is when you are depressed (cause of depression may vary from person to person). Justification of reason – We all know suicides are very common symptoms of extreme depression. All suiciders go into deep profound depression owing to repetitive thinking about a particular incident. Now, if at that moment, if they indulge themselves in an activity (or vice versa) which can remove their attention from that incident, that suicide will surely be averted. This is where sutta/dope comes. Sutta/Dope diverts your thinking power deliberately (in case of Sutta, the effect is very minute whereas Dope effect are variable). And if by doing these, you are saving yourself from committing suicides…then…BUT…in the hiding are concealed many dangers.

U may save yourself but this won’t help you often and also this could pave the way to many repercussions. Let assume you are depressed quite often, then (as earlier) you start having your antidote to depression problems (sutta/dope) very frequently…congratulations…you just entered the HELL community of tobacco addicts. Also, practically speaking as mentioned earlier addicts/chain smokers don’t get the same FEEL of relaxation through smoking. If you are depressed that often, consult medical science.

The key which lies here is ‘HOW MENTALLY SOUND PERSON YOU ARE n HOW STOICAL YOU ARE?’
Smoke may help you once but once you get into that vicious cycle of that ‘UNREAL’ world of smoke, coming back is damn difficult. Remember:
“Smoke is weightless and shapeless” …all you get is ostentatious with fake relieve.