'The White Tiger' by Aravind Adiga

For the Desk of:

His Excellency Wen Jiabao
The Premier’s Office,
Beijing,
Capital of the Freedom-Loving Nation of China

From the Desk of:

‘AG’
The Thinking Man
And a writer
Living in the world of technology and outsourcing
New Delhi – Noida – Lucknow
India

Mr Premier Sir

I have just completed reading Booker Prize winner Aravind Adiga’s “The White Tiger”. My last Booker adventure “Inheritance of Loss” was a nice one and that compelled me to buy this one. I hope you like my words.

Sir, this man Aravind Adiga has done quite well in his first book. Yes, this is his first book. What you like about first time writers is that they have their own style of writing. The format, the tone & the style in which I am presenting you my review is actually his.

Now Mr. Excellency, I shall talk about the plot of the book. I think it’s copied. It’s copied from those roadside cheap comics where the servant kills his employer and flees away (available on almost all railway platforms, famous footpaths bazaars and other markets where the posh doesn’t go). An example from the book –

“MURDER WEEKLY
RUPEES 4.50
EXCLUSIVE TRUE STORY:
‘HE WANTED HIS MASTER’s WIFE’
LOVE – RAPE – REVENGE !”

This book reveals itself through letters to you (one like this review) written by Mr. Balram Halrai (an entrepreneur who used to be a driver cum servant of Mr. Ashok). The first part deals with how Munna is brought up. It sketches the inside of India where the shinning is absent (narrator refers to this place as darkness). The minute details of his narration are admiring.

“At the doorway to my house, you'll see the most important member of my family.
The water buffalo.
She was the fattest thing in our family; this was true in every house in the village.”

“These are the three main diseases of this country, sir: typhoid, cholera, and election fever. This last one is the worst; it makes people talk and talk about things that they have no say in.”

As the story moves forward, he finally gets a name ‘Balram’ and a job too. His job demanded multiple talents (that of a driver and a servant) at a very basic pay. Then comes the concept of Rooster Coup and the reasons for its existence in India. Balman works honestly but to the climb the ladder he decides to bid adieu his master (from this world). This is where the book lacks. The murder sequence has bollywood masala in it and it drags here. After committing the crime he comes to Bangalore and becomes a smart businessman. One thing which puzzled me was the title. Why is the title 'The White Tiger'? If we go by the logic of Rooster Coup, it should be 'The White COCK'!!

Sir, priced at Rs 395, this is not fare. But sir, in my country you have a lot of alternatives. I bought this book at Rs 80 from a respectable prestigious footpath seller at PVR, Saket (New Delhi). I hope you know about PVR, Saket. Incidentally I did my schooling from a ‘gyan’ giving building adjacent to it. If no, here are some lines from the book in its honour.

“Now, PVR Saket is the scene of a big cinema, which shows ten or twelve films at the same time, charges over a hundred and fifty rupees per film – yes, that’s right, a hundred and fifty rupees! That’s not all; you’ve also got plenty of place to drink beer, pick up girls, that sort of thing. A small bit of America in India.”

Also, the author has very well explored the servant-employee relationships from angles of slavery & romantic bonding. He has penetrated into people like Balram coming from ‘darkness’ and brought out their feelings in true sense.

“A time-honoured servants’ tradition. Slapping the master when he’s asleep. Like jumping on pillows when masters are not around. Or urinating into their pants. Or beating or kicking their pet dogs. Innocent servant’s pleasures.”

There are two sets of people in India – “The people with large bellies and the ones with no stomachs at all. Either you eat or get eaten up.”

Similarly, I would divide the book in two sets – pacy and draggy. The first half of the book shoots. It’s full of dark humour with occasional comparisons b/t my country and our country. Sir, if you have a taste for satire tone and sarcastic humour, you got to read the first half of the book. His sarcasm is really admiring!

Before leaving I must tell you something. Why people in the west like India in a dark shade. Why movies like ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and books like ‘The White Tiger’ are getting so high appreciations? India has both brightness and darkness; I believe the latter is getting more attention now. And WE, THE INDIAN PEOPLE are happily thinking atleast we are getting some attention. I still believe India chucks out better pieces of literary work than this tiger.

I hope you like my thoughts. In case you need to convey any words from your side, kindly comment…

Trainspotting Millions at the cost of 'Slumdogs'

The [starting lines] of Trainspotting starts with this following narration:

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton :
“Choose Life. Choose a Job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fcuking big Television. Choose Washing Machines, Cars, Compact Disc Players and electrical tin opener.
Choose good health, Low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a home. Choose your friends.
Choose Leisurewear, and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase. Choose DIY wondering who the fcuking you are on a Sunday morning. Choose a couch watching mind numbing spirit crushing game shows stuffing fcuking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all pissing your last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish brats you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose Life !
But why would I want to do a thing like that. I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin.”
And its theme. Only, the nonconformist here swings between choosing and not choosing life.

[the last lines]

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton :
So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you.
The job, the family, the fcuking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die. **

And he shot these lines with perfection. He is Daniel Boyle, director of Slumdog Millionaire (‘Slumdog Crorepati’ in Hindi).

This is not like a movie review which you are going to read. I saw the movie once and then I heard a lot of hype about the movie. And I decided to watch it twice (just for the sake of analysis).

The movie has an original plot (restructured from a bestseller) and is different from regular thrillers. It is different but it is not extraordinary. Neither by the measure of performance nor overall.

Anyways kudos to Slumdog for oscaring through awards. Though I would like to appreciate Amitabh Bachchan’s perception about not serving bollywood movies on the same platter at these foreign awards. A movie like Taare Zameen Per (to be reviewed later), got rejected. And I see no reason for its expulsion. It has a bright theme and lovely emotional storyline. On the other hand, we have Slumdog, which is dark and nothing new in it frankly (apart from plot). If Danny wanted to showcase the poverty of India and make big bugs out of it…he could have done it in a ‘Swades’ type way. The plot of Swades and Slumdog, both had poverty in them. The former shows how people are happy without basic essentials like water but still carry afford smiles easily. On the contrary, in latter you see kids from slums (alias slumdogs) took up crime as there support-stick to get rich.

There MAY be other factors too. Are Oscars going like most private awards in Hindi Movie Industry did? Are production houses behind the politics of Oscars (remember? Reliance BigTV and Walt Disney alliance)? Is it having any influence for bollywood on ‘western-market’? Speculations arise if a non-deserving candidate wins.

Last word for Rehmaan n other Indians (Gulzaar, etc). They deserved it. If not for Slumdog, definitely for his past movies. Hence, Oscars to them are justifiable. But I find no reason why Mother India, Salam Bombay, Lagaan, Taare Zameen Par should not get an oscar if Slumdog has.

I wonder what they perceive about India in the Oscarland! If Poverty exists in India, people still cherish it.

An Indian movie (directed by a British) getting an oscar is a golden opportunity for Indian movie fraternity to capitalize on it. We have a chance now and if we still don’t dance on it, brilliant cinema like TZP, Lagaan, etc will still loose out in the coming future too.
so0O…

Jai Ho!!

** - The lines above are taken from a cult movie 'Trainspotting' directed by Danny Boyle. Trainspotting in slang means 'injecting heroin'.

LUCK...by Chance...got him...CHANCE...by luck

Once my English teacher at DU’s Venky said “to be successful in life you need three things – HardWork, Talent & Luck”.
And this movie is an extension of the above mentioned line.

Starting with the start of the movie. “Awesome” is the perfect word to describe it. Beneath all humour, the gratitude presented to the film fraternity by the director (Zoya Akhtar) is heart-touching.

Story is simple. A kid (not equal to star-kid) decides to become an actor. He enrolls himself into an acting school and comes out as an unemployed certified actor. But then after becoming an actor, he also wants to be a superstar. And then after many unsuccessfull iterations, luck by chance takes him to the place which is defined by its salutation as the Kings and the Baadshahs and the Shenshahs. And obviously going by the law of quotes – “kuch pane ke liye kuch khona padhta hai” (for every gain, you have to go through pain)”, the LUCKy actor turns to a star making a lot of money at the expense of his emotions (his love).

Impressions –
The Start of the movie. The 2 min starting-credits song can be termed as ‘the casting song’ for bollywood, defining many categories in film production. Aamir Khan. Less than 60 sec on the screen, still you will feel the perfection in his Gurudutt act. Anurag Kashyap, fabulous as story-writer. Farhan Akhtar – actor he is. His form after ROCK ON still rocks. Rishi Kapoor & Dimple’s Combo effort. The sponty chemistry between the two is charming and affable. Rest of the impressions include – Roshan baba, Sanjay ‘once-i-was-an-actor’ Kapoor, Saurabh Shukla, Juhi aunty and Isha ‘sensuous’ Sharwani. All played there parts with total satisfaction.

Negatives –
Sobbing scenes of Konkona Sen. First Half was a bit sluggish. Also, the climax of the movie seems to be a bit incomplete and lack satisfaction.

Luck by chance is a spoof when you look it with eyes with which people saw page 3. But it’s even better than that. Luck by chance contains an impressive array of actors and also tries to narrate the reality of reel. However, it can’t be compared to great classic ‘Guddi’ (starring Dharmendra, Jaya Bachchan), which had adopted cult status when we talk about movies telling bollywood tales. Still, it can easily come under ‘paise- vasool’ category.

PS: Luck By Chance in normal life can be more than cruel sometimes. Imagine getting transferred to a location where your ex works. Luck By Chance reduces to Life By Chance.

The writer here is professional computer engineer working as a consultant from Lucknow (only ....).

LUCK BY CHANCE
“I don’t believe in destiny, I believe in me”

So I bid you all adieu…

“Time made me, Time found you, Time made us friends, Time changed trends, Time made us smile, Time made us loose, Time educated us, Time made us learn and Time made us earn too, Time...And now it's Time for a Goodbye (Time changes every second, but hey it cannot change me and you :))................Cheers”
- my gtalk status

And it SPEAKs a lot. It speaks a story from start to current. Today, when I see myself setting to a different direction, I find a new change in me. I don’t get sleepy here. But I want to save that for the new place. I don’t want to eat out today. May be because I know for the next many months, I don’t have that home food. And today I feel a lot more responsible and many more…

And it’s not me who feel like this. ‘Friends’ too!! Ladies and gentlemen who never initiated chats with me, started becoming initiators. ‘Hies’, ‘Hellos’, ‘Take Care’ and ‘Best of Luck’ messages flooded my already very untidy desktop fetching me a comfy feeling of ‘bye-bye’ (muah!). And you like it. At my office too, as soon as I went public with my ‘bye-bye’, all had strange goodbye stamps with warm smiles on their faces. And you like it…damn you like that farewell’s limelight.

Will be missing my friends, will be missing my city and more importantly will be missing some part of me too. May God give me strength to cope up with activities like washing clothes, etc. Washing clothes! Oh my God. My prediction is that I will be close to the nomadic culture very soon and may end up becoming a nomad itself.

I am optimistic wanderer and an explorer. That’s sums up for a ‘wild animal’. And wild animals love humans. A new place and you meet some new people. And like always, you will find some new maniacs like yourself. Cheers

It’s late and have to travel early morning…….I bid you all adieu…

“choti si ye duniya,
anjaane raaste hai mere,
kahin tum miloge,
to poochenge haal,
choti si ye duniya”

I commit SPEAKing PICtures will be alive

Late Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan: An Ironic End

“mein khud se to parchit na hua
par ratano ko jaanene ki tamaana rahkta hoon
vo chale gaye to kya hua
unki ruuh se milne ki aasha karta hoon”

Sentiments inside me were high. My timeline stopped for a few seconds and the cursory look changed into a pensive stare. And I smiled because I realized my helplessness. Wish I was a God. Wish I was a judge of humanity. But reality always ditches you…ironic! Isn’t it?

Mumbai saw India’s deadliest terrorist attacks in recent times this Nov. On 26th Nov around 1 AM IST, my friend Karan (currently in Mumbai) told me to switch my TV on. Period. That night I went to sleep around 5 in the morning, witnessing the ordeal LIVE. Seeing terrorists firing at reporters from a hijacked police car and that too LIVE on television shocked me. I believe ‘Shock’ is a small term here; for 15 min I wasn’t able to understand the television. Everything was happening like a bad dream. Wish it would have been a dream and not a reality ever. But…Won’t say more…read newspapers

Approx. 180 died in the attacks…

On 3rd Dec 2008, I came across Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s profile on Orkut. Major Sandeep passed away while he was in command in Operation Cyclone at Taj Heritage Hotel in Mumbai. At first glance, the profile seemed an original one. He had a ‘stud-y’ profile pic along with many pics and videos in his collection.

Bang! something I saw which perturbed me…

Out of the 4 videos appearing on his profile, 3 belonged to a band named ‘Strings’ (a Pakistani band, one of my favorites too). I went inside his video collection and found 15 out of 24 videos selected by him belonged to Strings. Huff! A storm was there in my mind. I don’t know what struck me; may be I became too emotional in that hour of morning (3 AM). I asked my conscience how this can be possible, on one hand he loved songs by Pakistanis and on other he was killed by bullets of Pakistanis. IRONY…many incidents have no justification yet they happen…why? (Even I have no answer to it)
Ps: - Some of the videos selected by him – Khawab, Zinda Hoon, Duur, Aakri Alvida Na Ho. (Even the names are ironic! Isn’t it?)

I am putting a picture of the martyr symbolizing the calmness reflected from him (read for more on Sandeep). God should have been more compassionate towards him…May his soul rest in peace
‘Do not come up, I will handle them’

- Maj. Sandeep Unnikrishnan- 1977-2008

Lastly, I read some statements about Porkistan in international media. They are ‘to the point’ and I won’t strike any word out of it. JUST Totally Apt and Befitting for Porkistan.
“Pakistan has everything that gives you an international migraine. It has nuclear weapons, it has terrorism, extremists, corruption, is very poor and it's in a location that's really, really important (referring to neighbourhood of India)…” - former US secretary of state Madeleine Albright.
Porkistan will face very tough times ahead (and anybody having doubts is basically fooling himself!! BEWARE).

JAI HIND

Manali & the snow mountains

After beautiful beaches, dry deserts, high hills, plain plains, highways and even expressways (thanks to office, it’s a part of my life now), there was something missing on the list…SNOW. And where do we get this? Apart from freezer, we get this chemical substance in its natural form on mountain peaks above those high hillstations.

Manali is one of the busiest hillstations in North India (Himachal Pradesh). Its distance from New Delhi is 532 km. How to reach Manali?

1) Catch an airline to nearest airport (Bhuntoor), 2 hrs from Manali (NOT ADVICABLE, it cuts your scenic beauty adventure)
2) Buses from Delhi (ISBT) and Chandigarh (for gutsy persons only)
3) Hi-tech AC ‘suppose-to-be-comfortable’ Volvo Buses, runs from CP, Delhi (Advisable, rest depends on luck)
4) Self-DRIVED Bikes and Cars (strictly for guys seeking adventure)

(I went by option no. 3, though I regret for that)

Ideally the journey to Manali from Delhi takes max 14 hours, but the best part when you travel in INDIA, by INDIAN vehicles, driven by INDIAN drivers is that the whole traveling experience results in something unique…hence making it to unique adventures series very easily.

We started on a Thursday (Oct'08) at 7:00 PM from CP (Delhi) in a HP Tourism owned VOLVO. En route the passengers were tortured by showing a big bollywood flop ‘ONE TWO THREE’ (God bless them) starring Paresh Rawal, Sunil Shetty and Tushar Kapor (He is already blessed from God). Though must compliment, the consequence was positive; passengers complained more of headache syndrome rather than normal-vomit one (Thanks God). Early Morning, all woke up to see that the Volvo was halted (flat tyre). It took 1 hr to change it (so many nuts and nuts were there in it, God bless its designer). We finally landed there next day at 11:15 AM. The only positive thing in the journey was the scenic beauty – NH-21 highway alongside Beas river and the Himalayas…pleasure to eyes.


DAY ONE

Friday was dedicated to local site-seeing. The only ‘recommendable’ places to visit – Hidamba Temple (located amidst very very tall trees; seems situated in dense rain forests, also has a charming architecture).
Another place to visit can be Vaishist Kund (hot water pipes from ground). Rest all places are just meant for filling the pamphlet. Fare: Taxi (Alto/Indica) - Rs. 350-500 for local site-seeing (negotiable).
Friday evening can be reserved for roaming at THE MALL (a tourist place found in every hillstation). The Mall must be having atleast 10 restaurants on it, but the coincidence and the fact is that 9 out of 10 share a common name (Sher-e-Punjab). The 10th one did some smart work while naming, it goes by the name ‘Shan-e-Punjab’. Just wonder the mentality of people !

DAY TWO

Saturday was the day. It was reserved for Rohtang Pass (15000ft, 51 km from Manali). For Rohtang pass, try to leave from Manali as early as possible. Two reasons for the early start; firstly, you will witness awesome picturesque snapshots of nature (silver horizon b/t thick clouds and dim rays of crepuscular). And more importantly the second reason, reduced traffic. Road to Rohtang is bearable except at some curves where jams are inevitable. Ideally, the 51 km journey from Manali to Rohtang Pass shouldn’t take more than 3 hours. Fair for Alto/Indica - Rs1000, for Qualis/Travera/Enova - Rs 1200. Also, you can hire snow suits from shops en route (Fair – Rs 250 per suit, negotiable).

Once you reach there, prepare yourself and your legs. Snow near parking is available, but that’s all ‘about-to-be-melt’ dust covered types, non-uniform and patchy (yet you will find majority of domestic tourists enjoying here). Best way to enjoy snow is to go up and up and up and UP. Walk 2-3 km and the world there changes. Purity in air and in thoughts come at ease. Not many people can be seen from there. Not many trees can be seen from there. Not many ‘man-made’ things can be seen from there. In situations like these, ‘you’ and ‘your shadows’ are more private and close. As you ascend, number of maniacs (trekkers) decrease exponentially.
Few points to remember (assuming you have no protective equipment with you):
1) TAP hard on ice to test whether the snow base is hard or soft. Incase it is soft; you may find half of you inside snow. And just incase it’s a ditch,….hee hee…Devil’s den is there.
2) Nature has created some damn patches every 100m. Take stall and make your gum-boots snow-free. Else, your feet will freeze.
3) While descending, sliding is the best option…enjoyable and fast.
4) DO NOT THROW PLASTIC THERE


At the highest point of my ascend, there were some camps belonging to BRO (Border Roads Organization, India). They were stationed temporarily there. As it was the last point of my ‘UP’ journey, a nearby jawan came to me asking me to wipe my sweat. Reasons? Sweat is absorbed by the clothes and turns solid due to conversion to ice. Now, because skin at higher altitudes becomes dry, this ‘sweat-turned-ice’ tend to cause rashes and even cuts, which may hurt at some areas of the body. Boye! Information first hand is so0O intriguing and fascinating. Salute to the guys who clear roads at that altitude so that tourists like we can have a visit.
“Aap log to yahan ghoomne aate ho, kabhi yahan ek-do din rehke dekho….mauj aa jayegi”
(You come here to have a visit, try living one-two days…enthusiasm/excitement/etc will come automatically)

Descend by sliding only. Don’t take sledges or tubes for sliding; try sliding without any apparatus for attaining maximum fun and speed. On way back one can do Paragliding (recommendable). Points are there on way from Rohtang Pass to Manali. There are three variants – short (3-4 min, Rs 700), medium (8-10 min, Rs 2000), long (25-30 min, Rs 3500).

DAY THREE








Early morning you can visit a wasteland ‘Nature’s Park’ situated in the heart of Manali. Nobody goes there and that’s the advantage. Try your morning walk here…you won’t regret.

One can utilize the third day for Manikaran. Manikaran is 85 km from Manali and is famous for hot natural geysers. The water is so hot that rice and pulses can be cooked in it. Leave Manali around 7 am and be back till 3 pm incase you have to catch the evening Volvo (departure – 6 pm). Fare of taxi to Manikaran – Rs. 1500 (negotiable)

Return trip was the best and the worst part. While on our way back to Delhi on Volvo we were 36 people including a group of Chinese girls (5 in number), 2 Germans and 2 Italians. Our journey started at 7 pm from Manali and was again suppose to end after 14 hours. The bus started with 10 litres of diesel in it and after visiting 3 gas stations and spending over Rs 50000, it was finally full. This ‘hi-tech’ bus was not having enough tubelights; forget TV/ Radio; and the best part AC wasn’t working (though some of the passengers who were I guess mechanical engineers repaired it somehow…GOD bless them). One more interesting thing, bus was having just one driver (though it is mandatory to carry two). And that one driver decided to sleep when the clock touched 12 am. He went to the boot and made himself comfortable and slept for a good two hours (yaaaaaawn), while many passengers were busy dialing numbers (or may be they were playing ‘snake’ on their mobiles??). After many stops, intended mischief by the driver and numerous other hassles, we finally ended our journey on Sunday around 1:30 pm at CP (New Delhi).

ps: Manali is colloquially called ‘Switzerland of middle class’ as it's a hot destination for young couples. Incase you don’t fit in here, try to go with friends as adventure activities like trekking, rock climbing, rafting ,etc are in abundance here.

ICICI – "I had an eerie experience"

How and again how…How do we sometimes land on the ‘planets of Troubles’ without any routes? Sometimes you do live like Alice (Alice in TROUBLEland)…

I had a frustrating ‘money-losing’ experience few days back. At 6:45 pm, I got a call from a lady. Unlike Chetan Bhagat’s ON@TCC, the call was not from any God/Goddess, rather she belonged to ICICI. Her message was simple, somewhat strange and shocking too. “Sir, aapke cash mein fake note mile hai”.

CHEERS n ROCK ON…party was on for me…

The prelude is important. At 11:30 am, I went to ICICI for depositing a large amount in person. It was the first time I was depositing money in my 4 month old ICICI account. Coupon system was followed to implement FIFO (first in first out) approach. As my turn came, the man at the counter asked me to deposit the whole money in envelope; rather to the cashier. Though I was a bit skeptical about depositing in packet, I trusted the system. After depositing it, I was told it will come in account after 2 hours.

I went back and did what I love most – slept…

At 6:45 pm I got that call informing me about a fake 500 Rupee note in my cash. I rushed and I ran. I was told I won’t be getting back that fake note (which I knew beforehand). Point to highlight here that ‘fake note’ was taken from Canara Bank. My first question to them was ‘why wasn’t I informed after 2 hours after my deposition?’. To which they replied, the camera systems weren’t working so it got delayed. My second question was ‘ Why did he asked me to deposit in envelope?” To which they replied…(silence)…

After my persistent request (which later started sounding like demand), I was shown the fake note on camera. They deposited the rest of the amount…and the icing on the cake was done by there ATM machine, which I guess was having some network problems. Sadly, the impression about ICICI services has compelled me to change my bank.

Some days are like that. You just can’t help yourself. I walked away with a smile hoping my hard earned 500 bugs reach somebody needy on this DIWALI…

JAI HO LAXMI MAATE

Body of Lies

Everything in this life is summarized by titles. Consider the school days, where it is customary to give titles like Mr. Stud, Ms. Photogenic, etc to every student. Your English teacher must have taught you about the importance of ‘titles’ when writing essays and blogs. Some days back I read a book ‘Joker in the Pack’ and understood the meaning of title only after completing 90% of the book and boye! it was apt (Bad reader I am)

‘Body of lies’ is too a strange title when you evaluate it from its trailers. From trailers it looks like an espionage killer thriller (‘spy game’ types). But again DO go by the title when you go for it…

Movie has two great actors; Russell Crowe (Ed) and Leonardo DiCaprio (Roger). Plot wise, not much new is there in it. Russell Crowe works for CIA (Los Angles) and gives directions to DiCaprio (his CIA operative in Iraq, Jordan, Dubai, Syria, etc etc). Movie does revolve from one country to other to another symbolizing geographical reach of terror. DiCaprio is given assignments by his boss and after his initial assignment in Iraq, is sent to Jordan to get Al Salim (head of a terror group). There he seeks help of Jordan’s GID (general intelligence dept.) to nab Al Salim. Meanwhile Ed plants another operative thereby jeopardizing the plan and getting Roger hurt. Roger while getting the treatment becomes affectionate towards the nurse. Then there are more plans to nab Al Salim which flop….In the climax, the nurse is taken up by Al Salim’s men and wants Roger in return. Rogers agrees and as he is to be executed, SOMEBODY (not me) saves him…Who??…find out. In addition, movie has some high intensity nasty dialogue-baazi in it. There are dialogues which may sound provocative to some; for example ‘He wants to come America in one piece and go to heavens in thousands’, ‘He is the one who touches his head 4-5 times a day’ and few more. One scene which caused the whole audience to applaud happened when the Al-Salem men foxed American spy-satellites in the middle of the desert...technolgies cannot outdo everybody (a reminder!!)

Castwise this movie attracts two very famous men of Hollywood. Both have done legendary movies in past and are great crowd pullers. Crowe in this movie looks mighty fatty and carries a strange nerdy look (one who can live without oxygen but not without specs and earphones). Denzil Washington or Bruce Willis could have easily replaced Crowe here. On the contrary, DiCaprio is fantastically shot. He runs, he kills and he acts brilliantly. Though one might fear about him going for stereotyping killer roles (The Departed, Blood Diamond types). A special mention for Mark Strong (played head of Jordanian GID). An amazing scene presence and emotionless dialogue delievery made him at par with the other two actors.

If you like kills, thrills, spy-satellites and offcourse, the two legendry men…go for it
JUST REMEMBER !!

“Nobody’s innocent in this shit”

An irrelevant view of life at IIMs: Joker in the Pack

I bought this book at XVIII World Book Fair, Delhi (2008). My affiliation towards ‘campus dairies’ forced me to own this one (though it took my 195 INR in the process to own this one…circumspecting if 150 would have accelerated its sales).

After IITians Chetan Bhagat (5.sum1, ON@TCC) & Tushar Raheja (Anything for you’ ma’am), novelists here are IIM graduates (Ritesh Sharma, Neeraj Pahlajani).

This read is not like Five Point Someone, which gives a total campus feel; rather it’s like a tale. Best way to describe is to say ‘it’s an autobiography of a guy named Shekhar Verma’. Shekhar is a boy in which you can find many shades of yourself (until he gets into IIM-B). Book speaks about his life; childhood to graduation to post graduation.

Within the first few pages, nostalgia strikes in full force once he talks about DD serials, Mummy kasam, ice-pice and other bachpan ki yaadein (memories from childhood). As he gets older, he becomes non-serious, he becomes non-sincere and he gets multiple unimpressive grades (free with a girlfriend). Then a day comes and the phoenix is released. The boy gets into IIM-B (one of the factor which influenced me to buy this book).

The author narration about IIM-B is descriptive explaining about various clubs, committees and how they process & refine their resumes from infinite iterations to impress world-class companies (ones having surplus capital). Another very interesting sub-plot within the book lies at the time of summer placements; in which he gets into a domestic FMCG and is asked to travel tier-two cities of UP (Rampur, Meerut,…) and West Bengal (Kharagpur, Midnapur,…). Story attains pace and becomes fascinating as our IIM-B hero deals his work with people having diverse backgrounds (his Banglore boss, UP bhaiyas and Bengali babus). All this was done to get a PPO, which again was aimed to act as another bright point in his resume (Wondering!! the importance of resume??). However, the disappointment arises as book reaches its climax ‘final placements time’, which is stretched at some points.
Also climax of the book reveals the justification about the title ‘Joker in the pack’ and the tagline ‘An irreverent view of life at IIMs’, which seemed a bit strange to me at first look, but after the read, they are apt.

One thing which was very annoying sometimes was the names of the protagonist’s friend…Champak, Chummi, Thoku…are they funny?
Lastly, every campus book reminds you about the past. Some lines did the same to me. So I decided to present awards to some lines…

‘ghar ghar ki kahani’ award

“And the best way to do that, for them, was the ‘safe way’ of an MNC job, as a ‘government job’ had been before liberalization. This philosophy prevails despite the fact that some of the richest and the most popular people in the world have been entrepreneurs or skilled artists who backed their talent and, consequently, money became incidental. It would, I realized, be some time before kids would actually be encouraged to purse their interests rather than test scores.”

‘gender biasing’ award

“in the trainees’ room, somebody announced that it was Nitika, another intern’s birthday. It seemed some of the guys were happier than she was.”

‘Illusion in a zip file’ award

“How we managed to fit into that already packed bus is still a mystery to me – it’s no wonder India is a magical land, we pull off tricks everywhere.”

‘Biggest Problem of IIT-Guwahati Males’

“Take a look around, thirty five girls in a batch of two hundred. Out of the one hundred sixty five guys, one hundred fifty have never had a girlfriend. Out of these one hundred ten have never had a female friend, or worse still, female interaction. How can you call these people desperate…they’re needy!”

‘Mithun Dada ka Dialogue – A Tribute'

“Waqt se phele, aur kismet se zyada, na kisi ko kuch mila hai, aur na kuch milega”
(Nobody gets anything more than what’s in their fate, or before it’s their time)

ROCK ON and LIVE ON

One fine Saturday, you goto a mnc office and GOD switches off building’s AC just to help you to ROCK ON……….shoo cute naa (reaction from one my colleague)

What do you understand by a ROCKSTAR!
To get the zest of this movie, it is very important to get the meaning of this word. A rockstar is anybody who overcomes his conscience to get his passion fulfilled and if his passion is true, we say it’s ROCKing…

Back to movie…

Rock ON is a movie which makes a conscious attempt to Rock you through some Rock songs (in Hindi) and also makes an unconscious attempt to teach us a moral. It is a story of four dudes - Aditya (Farhan Akhtar), Joe (Arjun Rampal), KD (Purab Kohli) and Rob (Luke Kenny), all with stylish long hairstyles. They use to jam together and wanted to touch glory through their band ‘Magic’ (oops, it’s ‘MagiK’…Why ‘K’? Is Ekta Kapour behind this? Is ‘K’ bringing them luck?). Anyways, as movie moves, ego issues emerge (as they came in DCH) and one of the members punches other (DCH had a slap). They break-up…after that…one becomes a successful business guy and other remains no-where (as in DCH). Tring tring!! The woman power comes into picture (Prachi Desai as Aditya’s wife). Under emotional circumstances, she manages to reunite the band and again an opportunity comes for them to touch glory. Rest is known…

Music by Shankar-Ehsan-Loy is super-class. Farhan ‘naturally-distorted’ voice gives a natural ‘ROCKy’ texture in his singing. Songs esp. ‘socha hai’, ‘tum ho to’, ‘rock on’ and ‘meri laundry’ all are very nicely composed and performed.

Casting is done almost perfectly. Some years back uncle Javed Akhtar’s son (Farhan Akhtar) directed a movie by the name of DCH (Dil Chahta Hai) and till now it enjoys a cult status when we speak of teen flicks. Now, the ‘son’ has matured and turned into a rockstar, and is perfect in doing do. At no point of time, Farhan Aktar (as lead guitarist, Aditya) looks like a debutant. KD is the ‘one-liner’ delivery centre. His attitude of ‘be chilled by getting filled’ is funny and adorable. Rob is the dark horse (expect professional mature stuff from him). Arjun Rampal (as Joe, the lead guitarist) works like an ‘energy-less’ donkey (slow n steady yet wins the race). He is fine in senti scenes, but he could have shown more adrenaline during the rock concerts sequences.

What surprised me totally was the ‘U’ certificate given to ‘ROCK ON’. Man! I wasn’t expecting this; after all it’s about rockstars. Words like Booze, Dope and Condoms are assumed with them. This movie makes a statement – you need not be a junglee to become a rockstar, you just need to be a rockstar (refer starting para for definition).

Every good movie has a baseline. It too has one -

‘It’s never late to say YES to your dreams’.
LIVE ON before you become a dream.

Jaaaaaane Tu....Ya Jaane Na

2008 is a disaster for movies. Movies like Krazzy 4 can compel anybody to NOT watch bollywood flicks. So, here comes a movie namely Jaane tu…ya jaane na (JTYJN) with which am opening my movie review account of 2008…

Ratings first – 3/5 (assessing the current bollywood scene). Jaane tu…to start with is a romantic teen flick with a very charming portrait of college life.

Storyline isn’t that great nor is it a creative masterpiece but still it has something new…thanks to the newcomers.
Here is a brief abstract of Jaane tu…..story :-
Set up in Mumbai, we have a college, in it a gang of friends and residing in that are our couple. RATS, the boy (Imran aka Jai) and MEOW, the girl (Aditi aka Jenelia) are the main protagonist here. RATS is a smarty who believes in principle of ‘ahinsha’ and prefers working from brain rather than bones; CATS in the converse of RATS, she believes in ‘eye for an eye’ and is willing to slap/abuse naughty guys anyday anytime anysecond. In the first half of the movie, the boy and the girl are JUST FRIENDS and deny any ‘beyond-friendship’ relationship. First half is a reflection of college masti and silly fun-filled incidents. As the plot proceeds towards the second half, the campus mind attains maturity and we see an adaptation of the famous ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’ plot (remember that KKK…Kabaadi Khan-Kajol-Rani Mukherjee movie). Both, RATS and MEOW know what type of partner they need and as usual they get it VVery easily. So RATS gets a cutie who cracks world’s worst PJs and MEOW gets a stud. But soon, their anxiety/ crush ends and both now suffer from emotional imbalances. End you all now…it’s predictable. Overall, second half doesn’t match upto first half in terms of college masti but still you never feel its been stretched except the climax.

Few things I fail to understand; Arbaaz and Sohail Khan as Rajasthani Cowdays (Man, who got this idea!! Will he give more ideas like these in more bollywood movies??). However, few things which were really very impressive and unique w.r.t. routine bollywood like Jai not carrying a cell because he didn’t felt to have one…(Man, this sounds like a rational thought)

Now the characters (USP of the movie).

Imran Khan (Jai/RATS) – Confident Talented Dude - A future romantic hero was sure. He has a face which girls love and somewhere I found his effort comparable to Ruslaan Mumtaz of Mp3. He has potential, he has Aamir Khan's backing…rest is future.

Jenelia (Aditi/MEOW) – Cute Innocent Boxer - Her performance looks original and mature (unlike Hazel in MP3). The casting team could have given this role to any hot chick supermodel but then they won’t get the performance or that originality which she has delivered.

Prateek Patil (played Aditi’s bro) – Devil’s Advocate - Man, I am waiting for his next movie. Got less than 10 scenes in movie but every scene by him was full of class. The way he used sarcastic humour in his dialogues…superb…played an essential role in the plot.

Music is given by AR Rehman who once again proves he can adapt to any script. From senti song ‘Kabhi Kabhi Aditi’ to dance track ‘Pappu can’t dance saala’, his work is really outstanding. The songs esp. the songs of first half set up a good platform and amplify the viewer interest.

Some lines from Jaane tu –

"Pyara sa ladka chahiye hota, toh tujhse shaadi kar leiti, I want a man" – Aditi
“Everybody knows that Rats and Meow are perfect for each other, but do they really know?” – Somebody at airport
“Yes i am running, sometimes thats what all we can do” – Aditi

REJOICE FRIENDSHIP

Since friendship topic has been touched, how about Tom n Jerry :)...

At Office

am very busy at my desk, plz disturb

The 70’s music and today’s College life

Am standing on the edge of my graduation life (result awaited), and today went into the flashback of my college life (thanks to slam book of classmates). Somehow, got an idea to relate some of our old bollywood songs to the college life…so let’s draw an analogy between there lyrics and the life of a college goer.

NUMERO-UNO (the FREASHERS song)

“aaj unse pahli mulaaqaat hogi
phir aamne saamne baat hogi
phir hogaa kyaa, kyaa pataa kyaa khabar
phir hogaa kyaa, kyaa pataa kyaa khabar”

Looks like a ‘first-date’ song, sung by aashiqs for their Miss(es). But I have a different perceptive to this…for me it is a ‘first-day’ song of college life (sung by Mr. Fresher for his dear Profs). Song taken from movie ‘Paraya Dhan’

TWO (for the Girls)

“haseeno ne bulaya, gale se bhi lagaya
bhout samajhaya, yahi na samajha
bhout bola hai bechara, na jaane kis pe aayega
hai apna dil to aawaara, na jaane kis pe aayega”

This is dedicated to college girls esp. class ki ladies. Rest – no comments. Song taken from movie ‘Solva Saal’.

THREE (Paradox)

“haal chaal theek thaak hai
Sab kuch theek thaak hai
B.A. kiya hai, M.A. kiya
Lagta vo bhi ayeve kiya
Kaam nahi hai varna yahan
Aapki dua se sab theek thaak hai”

This song is dedicated to current scene of INDIAN IT industry. The lyrics speak of irony. Most of us (computer engineers) have two jobs, but no joinings. Some of the companies have deferred their joinings by one year, but still, most of us are enjoying and as they say “all is fine here”. Song taken from movie ‘Mere Apne’.

FOUR (Hard-Work)

Placement time is a critical phrase. Some of us are selected and some of us not. Wordings like “duniya ki is bheed mein sabse peeche hum khade” and songs like
“"Khoon Pasina ki milegi to khaayenge
Nahi to yaaron hum bhuke hi so jayenge"
these, tell you the harsh truth and are really uncomfortable to deal with…Song taken from movie ‘Khoon Pasina’

FIVE (oo la la – STYLE)

“hai apna jeena, yahi jeena
TASHAN mein TASHAN mein TASHAN mein
TASHAN mein”

The way we move our cars on roads….got it!! Catch me if you can. Song taken from movie ‘Tashan’

SIX (Help Needed)

“oo aaj mausam bada beimaan hai
Bada beimaan hai aaj mausam
aana wala koi toofan hai
koi tufaan hai, aaj mausam”

Looking out of window into the GODs for their help. But when?? When you are in the examination room. You stare at sky, you curse weather and you start predicting cyclones, tycoons, hurricanes (you just turn to satellites) and then you go to toilet for passing that exam. Love live college toilets. Song taken from movie ‘Loafer’

SEVEN (Some Dedications)

“dil ko dekho chehraa na dekho
chehron ne laakhon ko loota
dil sacha aur chehra jhoota
dil sacha aur chehra jhoota

jo apni sachi soorat dikha dein
aise nahin duniyawale
sab ne hi apne cheharon ke aage
jhoot ke parde hain daale
meethi honthon pe baat, dil mein rehti hai khaat
dil ka honthon se naata hi jhoota
dil sacha aur chehra jhoota”

Dedicated to all hypocrites and liars of college. Song taken from movie ‘Saacha Jhootha’

EIGHT (Sleep Motivator)

“Ek Din Sapne Mein Dekha Sapna
Kya???
Arre Woh Jo Hai Na Amitabh Apna
Bachchan???
Haan!
Markit Se Out Hua, Logon Ko Doubt Hua
Meri Vajah Se Woh Gaya Gaya Gaya Gaya
Kismat To Badali, Kya Kahoon Really
Main Amitabh Ho Gaya
Ho Sapne Mein Dekha Sapna

Daaye Mein Hema, Baaye Pe Zeenat
Saamne Rekha, Peechhe Jo Dekha”

Incase you thinking where to fit in this song…someday try to attend a PDS or DP class. You will automatically be transported to a different world (dreamland) and once you land there…can anybody stop you!! Song belongs to Golmaal (old).

NINE (Optimism)

“Chhodo kal ki baatein, kal ki baat puraani
Naye daur mein likhenge milkar nayi kahaani”

This song is an important one. It signifies the power to excel in future despite our weak past (hmmm…I mean our poor grades). Song taken from movie ‘Hum Hindustani’

TEN (Hidden Love)

“Bhole bhale,
Bhole bhale dil ko behlate rahe,
Tanhai mein tere khayalon ko sajate rahe,
Kabhi kabhi tho, aavaaz dekar, mujhko jagaya khabon
ne,
Maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune,
Sapne, surile sapne”

This is song is from the movie ‘Anand’ and speaks about how can a lover sacrifice something like ‘Sleep’ for his/her loved one :P. One of my personal favorites.


ELEVEN (Carefree)

“Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya

Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha
Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya”

Take life as it comes and be Happy always. Song taken from movie ‘Hum Dono’ (1961)

TWELVE (Plz Don’t Go)

“rukhja o jaane wali rukja
Main to rahi teri mainzil ka
Nazro main tere main bura sahi
Aadmi bura nahi main dilka…”

'A loved one going away from the lover' song…bakwaas analogy…Well this song, I dedicate it to a special teacher who went to Microsoft. Sirji, I have improved !! Song taken from movie ‘Kanhaiya’

THIRTEEN (the Viva Song)

“kishore : sa re ga maa, ma sa re gaa, ga sa re maa, ma ga re sa
rafi : pa dha pa ma ma pa ma ga ra pa ma ma ga re sa
dono : sa re ga maa, ma sa re gaa, ga sa re maa, ma ga re sa “

I call it the viva song. Student ‘ONE’ says something. Student ‘TWO’ says something. And then they both start to ‘blah-blah’ and it result in something ear-pinching!! basically the examiner passes you with this strategy. Song is from the movie ‘Chupke Chupke’.

FOURTEEN (Waiting Song)

“din Dhal jaaye haay, raat naa jaay
tuu to na aae terii, yaad sataaye,
din Dhal jaaye”

This is a waiting song esp. used when one has to wait for his project mentors and guides. Song belongs to movie ‘Guide’

FIFTEEN (Bbye)

Farewell time…and a brilliant way to bid adieu to all classmates…song (slightly modified) taken from ‘rangoli’

“choti si ye duniya
anjaane raaste hai mere
kahin tum miloge
to poochenge haal
choti si ye duniya”

Cheers
AG

♪♪ "Walk the Streets of Love" ♪♪

Yesterday when me and Stanley were completing our usual routine i.e. Night Walk at 2 A.M., I saw a very sad doggy (Why was he sad!! May be his dinner bone was rotten?). Anyways, Stanley said to me about his similarity to aashiqs (lovers) types. Dunno why, but the sad doggy looked really sad. Stanley was almost in tears and suggested something really insane "Lets arrange a b*tch for him". God save Stanley. My heart says to dedicate a song for that very sad doggy...lets play him "Streets of Love"

STREETS OF LOVE
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

You're awful bright, you're awful smart
I must admit you broke my heart
The awful truth is really sad
I must admit I was awful bad

While lovers laugh and music plays
I stumble by and I hide my pain
The lights are lit, the moon is gone
I think I've crossed the Rubicon

I walk the streets of love and they're full of tears
And I walk the streets of love and they're full of fears

While music pumps from passing cars
A couple watch me from a bar
A band just played the wedding march
And the corner store mends broken hearts
And a woman asks me for a dance
Oh it's free of charge, just one more chance

I walk the streets of love and they're full of tears
Walk the streets of love for a thousand years

Oh tell me now
I... Oh I walk the streets of love, yeah and they're drenched with tears... Oh

You had the moves, you had the cards
I must admit you were awful smart
The awful truth is awful sad
I must admit I was awful bad

And I walk the streets of love and they're drenched with tears
And I walk the streets of love for a thousand years... Oh

Walk the streets of love and they're drenched with tears
Oh every night, oh there's only one and not enough for him
Oh I, yeah and they're full of tears
Oh everybody talk about it
Everybody be walking down it
Yeah but I found out.... oh yes that I...

Oh yes I do
Oh the streets of love, yeah, they're drenched with, drenched with in tears...
I... oh yeah I don't want to..

Recorded in June of 2005. Released on the album A Bigger Bang on September 5, 2005
Lead Vocals, Electric Guitar: Mick Jagger Electric Guitars: Keith Richards & Ron Wood Drums: Charlie Watts Bass: Darryl Jones Pianos & Organs: Chuck Leavell & Matt Clifford (also Strings)