Saturday, July 04, 2009

Lucknow - City of Nawabs

Lucknow is the capital of India’s largest state Uttar Pradesh and is known as ‘City of Nawabs’. It is associated with words like ‘adab’ and ‘tehzeeb’ and they will be mentioned later in the article.

My adventure with Lucknow:
My adventure with Lucknow was a memorable one and UNIQUE as it demanded sacrifice of materialistic pleasures, tested my stamina, my emotions and lasted for over 3 months. Consequently the write up will include more than just a traveler’s review.

From a traveler’s perceptive, you need just two days to absorb the best of city.

How to reach Lucknow?
Distance from Delhi is approx 600 km and it takes around 14 hours to complete it by non-deluxe state transport buses. A very strong suggestion - if somebody is traveling from Delhi to Lucknow by rail, kindly make use of Lucknow Mail (an ISO 9000 certified train; to be separately reviewed) or Lucknow Duplicate. Having slept 8 Friday and 8 Sunday nights in LM, I believe it is one of the best trains currently running in the country.
Rate Card for LM – Rs 594 (3AC), Rs 222 (Sleeper)

Start:
We boarded Shatabdi (morning edition) from New Delhi Railway Station and landed in Lucknow at 12:30 A.M. Unlike my earlier journey, this ended normally and within time. It was a comfortable ride as expected from Shatabdi. Cost per ticket - Rs 610

Sites:Bara Imambara and Bhool Bhulaiya – It is a complex man-made structure. On ground floor you have Imambara, which has some artifacts from past and photographs of the time when Lucknow was flooded by river Gomti.
Above floors have been named Bhool Bhulaiya (Lost by mistake). For first timers, it’s advisable to take a guide along. Puzzle inside is quite simple. You have to start from one hall and end at another. At every crossing, there are 4 ways to go, out of which 3 are wrong. And the correct one leads to Delhi, Agra, Faizabad (as per our guide). Apart of these, there are other facts too (like building’s material made up of organic stuff, etc). As you reach higher floors, view of the city is majestic. City looks charming from the top galleries and you can see other nearby monuments too.
Disclaimer – many Nawabs of Lucknow do not agree with the information provided by guide and consider them false.
Rate Card: Entry ticket (Rs 20), Guide rate (Rs 75 for Bhool Bhulaiya/ Rs 150 for Bhool Bhulaiya + Imambara + a nearby Baouri). If you are going for guide kindly go for Bhool Bhulaiya only.

Nearby monuments include – Chota Imambara, Clock Tower, Rumi Darwaza and more of Mughal architecture. They all are worth one look and not much spectacular.



Next day early morning we went to Lohia Park and Ambedkar Park since it was close to our Gomti Nagar guesthouse.
These parks are huge. They are not parks, they are fields. They are fields in which money has been invested like water. There are no bulls here for tilling, but there are arrogant elephants everywhere. Sadly, there are no crops for these fields. Fields (parks) are good, still in harvest (maintenance) but when you see the cost for making them; you can’t appreciate them. May be thatswhy, crowd wasn’t there. If the concept is extended to the ciiy and these fields starts coming up everywhere with those elephants, City of Nawabs will soon turn to 'City of Elephants'.

Next places to visit where malls. Lucknow malls are quite different from that of metros. These malls have many ‘budget’ outlets rather snobbish showrooms. Consequently, buying percentage in Lucknow’s malls exceeds malls of a metro like Delhi. Two of the famous ones are Saharagunj (Hazratganj) and Fun Republic (Gomti Nagar).






Markets:


Hazratgunj
market near Vidhan Sabha is the best market of the city. Aminabad and Chowk are considered cheaper and are famous for there Chicken Suits shops (Chicken is some type of embroidery which ladies like).


Food:
One thing you love about this place. Awadh-lucknowvi andaaz is best on platter and food here is relatively quite cheap. Some places which you have to try –

Ram Aasrey Sweet Shop – This shop belongs to Ram Aasrey Halwai. The first branch was opened at Chowk. Besides Chowk you have branches at Hazratganj too. The best community which is served here is Malai Paan (also known as Malai Ki Dori). Instead of beetle leaf, Malai is used to make the paan. Inside stuffing has dry fruits in liquid sugar. The taste is quite unique and lovable.
Rate Card – Malai Paan @ Rs 8
.
Royal café @ Saharaganj mall – This shop is located in the food court of Sahaganj Mall. It is quite popular among localities and serves Indian dishes. There USP is availability of taste at very low prices. I was a regular here and am a big fan of there Thalli. Servings in Thalli include – 4 combinations of dals/vegetable (including paneer items), veg biryani, 1 naan, 1 lachha parantha, sweet curd (mouthwatering) and 1 sweet with salad and papad. 1 Thalli per person can serve the purpose of Breakfast and Lunch. Mouthwatering is the term I use for there food and the Thalli here is definitely one of best North Dishes items available in Lucknow.
Rate Card – Thalli @ Rs 76 (taxes extra)

Burma bakery @ Aliganj – I used to buy my snacks from this place. Building itself is quite multi-functional – Bakery is on the first floor while first floor hosts mosque. Try there chocolate cookies.
Rate Card – Choc Cookies @ Rs 76/kg.

Worst place to eat in Lucknow is Tunde Kababi @ Aminabad. Now this place is very very hyped. Ambience is horrible. This place is equivalent to Hell if you are a hardcore veggi. I was accompanied by some of my Lucknow acquaintances and the review of non-veg written below is heresay from them. Kababs are in the form of circular soaps and there top surfaces are burnt in already over-burned oil. Chicken Butter Masala was one more dish which was ordered. According to my understanding of Chicken dishes it was a ‘gravy-wala-chicken’. People with me thought it was killed twice before being cooked and must be a victim of malnutrition. Gravy was mixture of yellow oil and red oil and had a disgusting smell in already disgusted environment. Now about the veg items which I tried. Menu has only 3 veg items – raita, biryani and kheer. Biryani was boiled rice with non-veg smell. Raita was a chemical mixture of 30 ml ‘beakerfull’ of white colured diluted liquid and 2-3 spatulas of Boondi balls floating in it. Roti were inspired from chewing gums ads. We weren’t that brave to try Kheer.
Rate Card – 1 Kabab soap @ Rs 10, Gravy-wala-chicken @ Rs 50 (approx), Raita @ Rs 15, Rice @ Rs 20.

Also, Lucknow also gets quite a lot variety of Mangoes. Langda and Dehseri are found in abundance and are quite cheap here.

Finding a room in Lucknow with adab and tehzeeb –
This should not be extended to all of Lucknow localities.
Lucknow doesn’t boost much IT or much industry and therefore number of migrants are quite less. Single Employed Bachelors find really difficult to get a room on rent. Searching 1 BHK in a locality nearby office is not an easy job. I finally managed to adjust myself in the city but the landlords screwed me up totally. Forcing a new rent agreement, thorough scrutiny of ‘yours truly’ and 50% increment in rent, it was all bestowed on us with all Lucknowvi adab and tehzeeb.

Return from an Ordeal –
After being on receiving end of all adabs and tehzeebs, we were finally returning back. We boarded Shatabdi (evening edition) from Charbagh Railway Station at 3:30 pm and were scheduled to reach New Delhi around 10 pm. Just when I was thanking God for my long journey, a surprise came on the way. AC wasn’t functioning in the train (we had crossed Kanpur at this juncture). The Lucknow crowd with all their adabs and tehzeebs went for a manhunt for T.T. and Superintendent, who in turn where somewhere on train but not visible. God must have given the helpless people some hidden powers. Some passengers decided to halt the train and wait till the railways send a different one. GOD BLESS THEM for this INSANE idea (at this point we were 2 hours away from Lucknow). Thankfully sanity prevailed and we finally decided to continue with the journey with open doors. Shatabdi soon turned into an interstate local with a fare of Rs 785. Some IIT Kanpur students figured out the fault was with generator and gave up. Superintendent turned up and another cruel reality came out. He wasn’t able to communicate with driver. What would happen incase of a hijack or a burning train? Will Vinod Khanna, Jeetu and Dharmendra turn up as savior as they did in the movie? God save us. Just before Etawah, some pantry guy fixed the generator and it worked till Delhi.

Thank you God (dil se re).

Friday, June 12, 2009

Introspection of my blogging days

Ok! Today I am a bit in past…a bit tired…a lot actually. But my heart is tempting me to write. So I will write…

This is in respect to my predecessor very sadistic post (Nescafe demolished @ IITD) which made my blog & my name & a couple of my friends (bonus!!) gain some fame. Speaking Pictures and AG got featured in HT City, Delhi Edition (pg 8)

But how do I see it. I ask myself this all the time. Bought my pc in my 2nd year of college, got a broadband in my 3rd year, got this idea of blogging from Deba’s blog but wasn’t very confident initially. Saw it as a time waste and as a difficult one to implement….somehow thought I should post some of my cartoons here. Fivepointsome came and Chetan Bhagat made me believe that I too could write BC.
Thankfully I had been accompanied with softwares (GIMP & Adobe Photoshop) and my fabulous lenses of my camera phones (posthumous Nokia 3250, Nokia 5220). They provide all important pictures to all the bakwaas speaking I do here.

But a blog is something more than that. I find that it’s a space and it’s a free space here (free in all senses). You can write the talk to yourself here and read back what you were talking 5 mins back. Then you can think. And then you can liberate your feelings through words. Add a pic or two of yours and a blog is ready. And you will be appreciated as ‘philosophical’...
See it’s as easy as fcuking. So what it’s not…who cares…you can make it on your blog…after all, this is the place where you get absolute freedom of thinking.

Speaking about which domain is the best one to start a blog. My opinion is Wordpress. Though it is not as popular as Google owned Blogspot.com but it has much more to offer than it.

Blog is a zone for you. It is a space for you. It makes your work of introspection quite easy & keeps your lateral thinking alive.

Bass phir kya main chal padha…
Keep Blogging

ps: Few clarifications related to the article which got published in HT
1) Sandy refers to Mr. Sandeep Sharma and he is male
2) BC is abbreviation for baat-cheet
3) 'Me and Sandy' is grammatically wrong; it should be 'Sandy and I'

I want to appreciate one of friend’s comments here. Thanks to Mr. Tau, he brought up an interesting point which is the appearance of word BC in a newspaper…finally recognized ;)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

IIT-D demolishes Nescafe inside its campus

To appreciate this piece, you have to go through this or have had Icetea @ IITD

Demolished Nescafe :


Today this was the condition of our beloved hangout heaven (Nescafe, IIT Delhi), where we used to spend so0O many Saturday evenings doing BC and improving our only talent.

Today we had a dent in our lives; tsunami we felt had crossed this structure…and got our heart punctured. The big blow had got our walk to slow.

Today no outsiders was seen, no party animals there
And the authorities demolished it due to their fear.

Today me and Sandy had to discuss complex question and there silly answers without THE icetea…
….
….
….
Today we just exchanged songs on Bluetooth…

Nescafe before:

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Review – FakeIPLplayer (part – I)

More than half of IPL gone and KKR is loosing. To entertain myself I decided to review blog of the famous (known by the name ‘fake’) ipl player. Hope you are entertained also.

KKR. Kolkata Knightriders. What to say about this team which embeds “City Of Joy” in its name. I can’t start my review before I tell you/ you know something about the current scenario of KKR. This team is in a mess. Why? (read newspapers, you will find strange articles on multiple captains, rifts etc). Having Shah-ruk-ruk-Khan as owner and Dada-Sau-ran Gang-ungli as the biggest Indian player in it, it had to do well….but…reality is flipside. Our friend cum spy Mr. Fake-IPL-Player tells why through his blog.

Blogger was never so popular amidst masses in India until this guy came to tell his version of IPL. For those who don’t know about fakeiplplayer, this blog claims to provide ‘aankhon dekha haal’ from inside of KKR’s dressing room. He presumably is a non-playing-on-bench-water-boy in KKR.

Characters of his blog and there real identities incase you don’t know –
His KKR mates -

1. Dil-do (megalomaniac owner of KKR – SRK),
2. Lord Almighty (Acting captain of KKR before IPL started – Dada Saurav),
3. Kaan Moolo - Former India player who will remain a former India player for the rest of his career (a-NIL-agarkar). Kaan for his enormous ears.
4. Calypso King refers to Chris Gayle
5. RDB refers to Randeep Bose
6. Phoren Babas refers to the elite 10 member couching staff hired by Dil-do from Aussie. It includes Bhooka Naan.
7. Little John refers to Ishant Sharma
8. Bangla Tiger refers Mashrafe Mortaza
9. Junta Tormentor refers to Ajantha Mendis
10. Bookha Naan refers to Buchanan
11. Shakespeare refers to Akash Chopra
12. Ganji Hanger refers to Sanjay Bangar
13. Chintu Singh refers to Anureet Singh
14. Candy Nickle refers to Andy Biche
15. Mangal Pandey refers to Laxmiratan Shukla
16. Gilli Danda refers to Ashok Dinda
17. Boy George refers to Brad Hodge
18. Style Bhai refers to Murli Kartik
19. Budhiman Baba refers to Wridhiman Saha
20. Sticky Something refers to Ricky Ponting
21. Pa*ty Curry refers to ??
22. Chikna Pu*sy refers to David Hussey


Outside KKR guys –

1. Kishen Kanhaiyya commentator – Ravi Shastri – his moustache resembles Anil Kapoor of movie Kishen Kanhaiyya.
2. Sandy Baddy refers to Bandira Badi
3. Appam Chu**ya refers to Shreeshanth
4. Prince Charles of Patiala refers to Yuvi
5. Babli refers to Pretty Zinta
6. Sheikh of Tweak refers to Shane Warne
7. Bevdaa Team refers Bangalore Royal Challengers
8. Big Sister’s Team refers to Rajasthan Royals
9. Bubblie’s Team refers to Punjab Kings XI
10. Mr.Batlivala refers Mr Vijay Mallya
11. Little Monster / Aila refers to Sachin
12. Chatterjee Kaku refers to the old man who appears in Nokia ad contemplating ‘iss baar tum bhi jeetoge’
13. John Wrong refers to John Wright
14. Havaii Chappal refers to Greg Chapel
15. Meera Bhai refers to Harbhajan Singh
16. BubLee refers to Bret Lee
17. Sheeghra-Patan refers to Yousuf Pathan
18. Akram Azam refers to Kamran Khan
19. Big Mac refers to Mathew Hayden
20. Peter Ka Beta refers to Peterson
21. RVR Sing refers to VRV Singh
22. Joker - The Nepali guy(Chang) who was Indian Idol host
23. Big Sister refers to Shilpa Shetty
24. Little Sister refers to Shamita Shetty
25. Lady Jaya refers to Mahila Jayawardene
26. Deeghra Patan refers to Irfan Pathan
27. Arnold Power refers to Ramesh Powar
28. Pedophile Priest refers to Adam Gilchrist
29. VVS Ram refers to VVS Laxman
30. Ghati Baba refers to Rohit Sharma
31. Chinnu Popli refers to Virat Kohli
32. Chirkut Teli refers to Bharat Chipli
33. Durbaan of Patiala refers to Tom Moody
34. Saala Slimeball refers to Lalit Modi
35. Vakil Saab refers to Kumara Sangakkara
36. Cool Dude refers to MS Dhoni
37. Deeawar refers to Rahul Dravid

Headlines (Blog entries) of fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com

Let the game begin – Fake-IPL-KKR’s intro & role in KKR
The first match begins – partying in South Africa
Rumours and all – Lord Almighty out of playing 11 & accolades to Bhooka Naan
In the Stadium for Opening Ceremony – Praising Dil-do’s wife, Bativala & Lord Almighty’s scare of being sacked
We Play Today – Practise session and criticism of inauguration
Long Night…Short Post – Sheikh Warn & 3 angels
Lord Not Opening – Care & Concern about Lord Almighty
Rains & ruins – The weather report
Load Shedding – No electricity
I knew it! – Confused team with absurd strategies
Opium Night – Description about Club ‘Opium’ & Appam Chu**ya
Durban…Raining here as well – Critics of Bhooka Naan
The Wright Way – Fake IPL Player realizes the reality
Match Eve – Praise of Calypso King
We Play Today Again – Fake IPL Player gets noticed
The hunter has become the hunted – KKR in the quest of Fake-IPL-KKR.
Why Kaan Moolo got the Boot – Reason for Kaan Moolo expulsion.
The Lord Returns – Lord Almighty did the talking that day
I love match days – Rest Days & more light on Apaam-Meera Slap incident.
When the going gets tough – Laptops confiscated
Players love it – Everybody loves Fake-IPL-KKR
Morning Training Report – Lordie runs for a chance to snub Dil-do
This team rocks – Lordie boycotted by Phoren Babas & Price-Tag on Fake-IPL-KKR
BubLee aur Babli – guest entry (song) by Bubblies
Experiment flopped – sorry for the guest entry, criticism of Joker
Emosional Atyachaar – Lordie getting emotional, More absurd strategies of KKR & IPL’s fakeness
Big Match – Big Party and how Patiala Price, RVR & Appam tried to impress goris?
Hats Off to Bhookha Naan - Shakespeare and Ganji Hanger sent back while Appam stays back, advice to Batlivala
Battle of the losers – Team Meeting and signals of revolt by Mangal Pandey
Bye Calypso. Thanks for entertaining us! – Abysmal Farewell, Dil-do image degraded & Fake-IPL-KKR promises to reveal his identity.
Port Elizabeth – Here we come again – General Observations
Is this a bad dream? – Calypso leaves with some others to go after the loss
Finally some respite – And here she goes down…again. KKR men just can’t handle her!!
Volcano erupts in the pool – Skipper speaks, Dil-do seeks Sticky’s help & Appam’s name awarded cult status.
Big Game Hunting – Men looking for SA pie
Fights, flights and conspiracies – Lordie to be dropped, phoren coaches suggestions for next year’s IPL
It’s decision time folks – Lordie in & your vote counts here

Analysis

Few questions which are unanswered?
Ques1) Is Fake-IPL-KKR really fake?
Ques2) If No! Who is it?

Ques 3) Who is laughing the most?

And here we go for some answers…

Ans 1) As far as he can write intriguing captivating stuff, it doesn’t care.
Ps: there is a major possibility that some unsatisfied maniac/player/commentator/’over’ actor have asked some XYZ person to author this blog

Ans 2) Now comes the only original part of this post, rest was just compilation. Assuming the fake-IPL-player is not really fake, I have done some analysis and as a result of which, below are some probables for Mr. FIP:-

NOTE: Parameters considered for nomination –
1) Command in English & daring to use obscene words
2) Level of ‘frustu’ness
3) Bitter relationship with SRK (i.e Dil-do)
4) Analytical thinking – useful in connecting different blog entries & keeping reading pace captivating.
5) Amount of self-praising
6) Knowledge about player’s background. FIP uses Vakil Saab for Kumara Sangakkara and the fact Kumara Sangakkara is a trained lawyer, which means he must have good knowledge of players’ background.
7) Hatred against Bhooka Naan (Buchanan) & Shreesanth (i.e. Appam Chu).

1) Bangla Tiger (Mashrafe Mortaza)
For the (nomi)motion – This guy must be having high degree of ‘frustu’ness in him as he is on bench for more than half of the tournament. Also, google says he has good knowledge of Queen’s language.
Against the (nomi)motion – Does he have a good analytical mind?

2) Dada-Sau-ran (Saurav Ganguli)
For the (nomi)motion – Everybody knows his frequency doesn’t matches with SRK and KKR coaches. He must be moderately ‘frustu’. Also when you read the blog, the amount of praising done makes him a easy probable.
Against the (nomi)motion – Does he has so much brains to create this kind of blog?? Does he have so much time??

3) RDB (Randeep Bose)
For the (nomi)motion – A fine talent sitting on bench for a very long time. He must be very ‘frustu’ till date. He plays from Bengal and my research says he doesn’t like Appam too much.
Against the (nomi)motion – His writing skills?

4) Style Bhai (Murli Kartik)
For the (nomi)motion – A fluent English speaking personality who is tech-savy too. Loves Ganguly and hates KKR coaching staff.
Against the (nomi)motion – Level of ‘frustu’ness? Hatred against Appam-Chu?

5) Harsha Bogle
For the (nomi)motion – This IIM passout has a superb brain and great analytical skills. His relations with SRK - May be he didn’t liked SRK publicly disgracing fellow commenter Gavaskar (he wrote a column criticizing multiple captaincy concept). He is one guy who would have good knowledge of player’s background too.
Against the (nomi)motion – Why is he so ‘frustu’? Why would he be so ‘anti-Appam-Chu’?. Will somebody like Harsha Bogle use obscene words like Chu**ya, Dil-do, Pus*y in his writings?

Ans 3: So who is having the last laugh here! SET MAX obviously. They must be laughing everytime STAR PLUS appears at the back of elite KKRs.
My sympathies with STAR PLUS. After tackling Ekta Kapoor for 10 years, they have to handle dil-do’s KKR…dard-e-Dil-DO…poor chaps!!

Still to come on SPEAKing PICtures: Buddy Zoozoos
Don't miss – FIP review(part – II) after IPL-2 gets over.

Am trying to ape the idea of FIP. WIll be starting Fake-IT-Worker. Kindly get in touch if you belong to Software/Silly-con Industry

Friday, April 24, 2009

"आरम्भ है प्रचंड" - गीत एवं बोल

'Aarambh hi Prachand' is a song from the movie 'Gulaal'. It is a song which motivates warriors towards war. Beautiful 'rhythmed' by Piyush Mishra, this song brings back old vintage 'core-pure' hindi usage into commercial cinema.

Lyrics -
आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड,
आज जंग की घडी की तुम गुहारदो |

(आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड, आज जंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो
आन बाण शान या की जान का हो दान आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो) -2
आरम्भ है प्रचंड -chorus

(मन्न करे सो प्राण दे, जो मन्न करे सो प्राण ले
वही तोह एक सर्वशक्तिमान है ) - 2
कृष्ण की पुकार है ये भागवत का सार है
की युद्ध ही तोह वीर का प्रमाण है,
कौरवो की भीड़ हो या पांडवो का नीड़ हो
जो लड़ सका है वोह ही तोह महान है |
जीत की हवास नहीं, किसी पे कोई वश नहीं
क्या जिंदगी है ठोकरों पे मार दो
मौत अंत है नहीं तोह मौत से भी क्यों डरे
ये जाके आसमान में दहाड़ दो |

आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड
आज ज़ंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो
आन बाण शान, या की जान का हो दान,
आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो |
आरम्भ है प्रचंड - chorus

(हो दया का भाव या की शौर्य का चुनाव
या की हार का वोह घांव तुम यह सोच लो) -2
या की पुरे भाल पर, जला रहे विजय का लाल
लाल ये गुलाल तुम सोच लो,
रंग केसरी हो या मृदंग केसरी हो
या की केसरी हो ताल तुम यह सोच लो

जिस कवी की कल्पना में जिंदगी हो प्रेम गीत
उस कवी को आज तुम नकार दो
भीगती नसों में आज, फूलती रगों में आज
आग की लपट का तुम बखार दो

आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड
आज ज़ंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो
आन बाण शान, या की जान का हो दान,
आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो |
आरम्भ है प्रचंड - 3


Meaning -
aarambh hai prachand bole mastakon ke jhund
aaj jang ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do

It's a formidable beginning, hordes of heads held high ready for the moment of war-cry

aan baan shaan, yaa ki jaan kaa ho daan
aaj ik dhanush ke baan pe utaar do

Pride, aim/fire, prowess/dignity or be it the offering of your own life, all's at stake on an arrow on a bow

mann kare so praan de, jo mann kare so praan le,
wahi to ek sarvshaktimaan hai

The one who gives life at will, who takes life at will, is the only fiercely powerful/almighty one

krishN ki pukaar hai, ye bhaagwat ka saar hai,
ki yudh hi to veer ka pramaan hai

It is krishN's call, it the gist/essence of the Bhaagwat, that a war is the confirmation/proof of the brave one

kaurvon ki bheed ho ya, paandavon ka need ho,
jo lad saka hai wohi to mahaan hai

Be it the crowd of kauravas, be it the lineage of paandavs, the one who can fight is truly the great one

jeet ki hawas nahin, kisi pe koi vash nahin,
kya zindagi hai thokron pe maar do

There's no lust for victory, there's no control over anyone, what's a life! it lies in your feet (nothing more than dust at your feet)

maut ant hai nahin, to maut se bhi kyun daren,
ye jaa ke aasmaan mein dahaad do

Death is not the end, why be afraid of death then, go, scream it aloud to the skies

ho dayaa ka bhaav, yaa ke shaurya ka chunaav,
yaa ke haar ka woh ghaav tum ye soch lo

An emotion of pity, choice of bravery, or the wound of defeat, you better think (you make the choice)

yaa ke poore bhaal par, jalaa rahe vijay kaa laal,
laal ye gulaal tum ye soch lo

Your forehead may be reddened with the bright, fire-like, vermillion of victory, so think (you make the choice)

rang kesari ho yaa mridang kesari ho
yaa ke kesari ho taal tum ye soch lo

The color itself may be saffron (victory color), the drums (symbol of music of victory) may be saffron, the beat may be saffron, so you think (you make the choice)

jis kavi ki kalpana mein zindagi ho premgeet
uss kavi ko aaj tum nakaar do

The poet who imagines life to be a love song, dismiss that poet today

bheegti nason mein aaj, phoolti ragon mein aaj
aag ki lapat ka tum baghaar do

To the veins that are wet with sweat and bulging with hot blood, add as a few flames of fire to them

Sunday, April 12, 2009

'Jai ho' VS 'Jey ho'

My good friend cum colleague (Mr. Gamer) told me about the new version of the 'Jai Ho' from the movie, Slumdoggy Millionaire. The video stars Pussycat-Dolls (with A.R. Rehman contributing 'Jai Ho' to it...apparently the only Hindi words in this 'angrezi' customized version. Watch it if you haven't.


click for 'Jey Ho' lyrics

In case you haven't watched the old one (belonging to the original movie) :-


click for 'Jai Ho' lyrics

So, Million Dollar Question I have for you? Which version did you like? Pussycats one or the original one?
I like Pussycats version...

FYI - The latter got the oscar!! And the former is inspired from the latter!!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

'The White Tiger' by Aravind Adiga


For the Desk of:

His Excellency Wen Jiabao
The Premier’s Office,
Beijing,
Capital of the Freedom-Loving Nation of China


From the Desk of:

‘AG’
The Thinking Man
And a writer
Living in the world of technology and outsourcing
New Delhi – Noida – Lucknow
India

Mr Premier Sir

I have just completed reading Booker Prize winner Aravind Adiga’s “The White Tiger”. My last Booker adventure “Inheritance of Loss” was a nice one and that compelled me to buy this one. I hope you like my words.

Sir, this man Aravind Adiga has done quite well in his first book. Yes, this is his first book. What you like about first time writers is that they have their own style of writing. The format, the tone & the style in which I am presenting you my review is actually his.

Now Mr. Excellency, I shall talk about the plot of the book. I think it’s copied. It’s copied from those roadside cheap comics where the servant kills his employer and flees away (available on almost all railway platforms, famous footpaths bazaars and other markets where the posh doesn’t go). An example from the book –

“MURDER WEEKLY
RUPEES 4.50
EXCLUSIVE TRUE STORY:
‘HE WANTED HIS MASTER’s WIFE’

LOVE – RAPE – REVENGE !”

This book reveals itself through letters to you (one like this review) written by Mr. Balram Halrai (an entrepreneur who used to be a driver cum servant of Mr. Ashok). The first part deals with how Munna is brought up. It sketches the inside of India where the shinning is absent (narrator refers to this place as darkness). The minute details of his narration are admiring.

“At the doorway to my house, you'll see the most important member of my family.
The water buffalo.

She was the fattest thing in our family; this was true in every house in the village.”

“These are the three main diseases of this country, sir: typhoid, cholera, and election fever. This last one is the worst; it makes people talk and talk about things that they have no say in.”


As the story moves forward, he finally gets a name ‘Balram’ and a job too. His job demanded multiple talents (that of a driver and a servant) at a very basic pay. Then comes the concept of Rooster Coup and the reasons for its existence in India. Balman works honestly but to the climb the ladder he decides to bid adieu his master (from this world). This is where the book lacks. The murder sequence has bollywood masala in it and it drags here. After committing the crime he comes to Bangalore and becomes a smart businessman. One thing which puzzled me was the title. Why is the title 'The White Tiger'? If we go by the logic of Rooster Coup, it should be 'The White COCK'!!

Sir, priced at Rs 395, this is not fare. But sir, in my country you have a lot of alternatives. I bought this book at Rs 80 from a respectable prestigious footpath seller at PVR, Saket (New Delhi). I hope you know about PVR, Saket. Incidentally I did my schooling from a ‘gyan’ giving building adjacent to it. If no, here are some lines from the book in its honour.

“Now, PVR Saket is the scene of a big cinema, which shows ten or twelve films at the same time, charges over a hundred and fifty rupees per film – yes, that’s right, a hundred and fifty rupees! That’s not all; you’ve also got plenty of place to drink beer, pick up girls, that sort of thing. A small bit of America in India.”

Also, the author has very well explored the servant-employee relationships from angles of slavery & romantic bonding. He has penetrated into people like Balram coming from ‘darkness’ and brought out their feelings in true sense.

“A time-honoured servants’ tradition. Slapping the master when he’s asleep. Like jumping on pillows when masters are not around. Or urinating into their pants. Or beating or kicking their pet dogs. Innocent servant’s pleasures.”

There are two sets of people in India – “The people with large bellies and the ones with no stomachs at all. Either you eat or get eaten up.”

Similarly, I would divide the book in two sets – pacy and draggy. The first half of the book shoots. It’s full of dark humour with occasional comparisons b/t my country and our country. Sir, if you have a taste for satire tone and sarcastic humour, you got to read the first half of the book. His sarcasm is really admiring!

Before leaving I must tell you something. Why people in the west like India in a dark shade. Why movies like ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and books like ‘The White Tiger’ are getting so high appreciations? India has both brightness and darkness; I believe the latter is getting more attention now. And WE, THE INDIAN PEOPLE are happily thinking atleast we are getting some attention. I still believe India chucks out better pieces of literary work than this tiger.

I hope you like my thoughts. In case you need to convey any words from your side, kindly comment…

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Trainspotting Millions at the cost of 'Slumdogs'

The [starting lines] of Trainspotting starts with this following narration:

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton :
“Choose Life. Choose a Job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fcuking big Television. Choose Washing Machines, Cars, Compact Disc Players and electrical tin opener.
Choose good health, Low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a home. Choose your friends.
Choose Leisurewear, and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase. Choose DIY wondering who the fcuking you are on a Sunday morning. Choose a couch watching mind numbing spirit crushing game shows stuffing fcuking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all pissing your last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish brats you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose Life !
But why would I want to do a thing like that. I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin.”
And its theme. Only, the nonconformist here swings between choosing and not choosing life.

[the last lines]

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton :
So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you.
The job, the family, the fcuking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die. **

And he shot these lines with perfection. He is Daniel Boyle, director of Slumdog Millionaire (‘Slumdog Crorepati’ in Hindi).

This is not like a movie review which you are going to read. I saw the movie once and then I heard a lot of hype about the movie. And I decided to watch it twice (just for the sake of analysis).

The movie has an original plot (restructured from a bestseller) and is different from regular thrillers. It is different but it is not extraordinary. Neither by the measure of performance nor overall.

Anyways kudos to Slumdog for oscaring through awards. Though I would like to appreciate Amitabh Bachchan’s perception about not serving bollywood movies on the same platter at these foreign awards. A movie like Taare Zameen Per (to be reviewed later), got rejected. And I see no reason for its expulsion. It has a bright theme and lovely emotional storyline. On the other hand, we have Slumdog, which is dark and nothing new in it frankly (apart from plot). If Danny wanted to showcase the poverty of India and make big bugs out of it…he could have done it in a ‘Swades’ type way. The plot of Swades and Slumdog, both had poverty in them. The former shows how people are happy without basic essentials like water but still carry afford smiles easily. On the contrary, in latter you see kids from slums (alias slumdogs) took up crime as there support-stick to get rich.

There MAY be other factors too. Are Oscars going like most private awards in Hindi Movie Industry did? Are production houses behind the politics of Oscars (remember? Reliance BigTV and Walt Disney alliance)? Is it having any influence for bollywood on ‘western-market’? Speculations arise if a non-deserving candidate wins.

Last word for Rehmaan n other Indians (Gulzaar, etc). They deserved it. If not for Slumdog, definitely for his past movies. Hence, Oscars to them are justifiable. But I find no reason why Mother India, Salam Bombay, Lagaan, Taare Zameen Par should not get an oscar if Slumdog has.

I wonder what they perceive about India in the Oscarland! If Poverty exists in India, people still cherish it.

An Indian movie (directed by a British) getting an oscar is a golden opportunity for Indian movie fraternity to capitalize on it. We have a chance now and if we still don’t dance on it, brilliant cinema like TZP, Lagaan, etc will still loose out in the coming future too.

so0O…

Jai Ho!!

** - The lines above are taken from a cult movie 'Trainspotting' directed by Danny Boyle. Trainspotting in slang means 'injecting heroin'.

Monday, February 02, 2009

LUCK...by Chance...got him...CHANCE...by luck

Once my English teacher at DU’s Venky said “to be successful in life you need three things – HardWork, Talent & Luck”.
And this movie is an extension of the above mentioned line.

Starting with the start of the movie. “Awesome” is the perfect word to describe it. Beneath all humour, the gratitude presented to the film fraternity by the director (Zoya Akhtar) is heart-touching.

Story is simple. A kid (not equal to star-kid) decides to become an actor. He enrolls himself into an acting school and comes out as an unemployed certified actor. But then after becoming an actor, he also wants to be a superstar. And then after many unsuccessfull iterations, luck by chance takes him to the place which is defined by its salutation as the Kings and the Baadshahs and the Shenshahs. And obviously going by the law of quotes – “kuch pane ke liye kuch khona padhta hai” (for every gain, you have to go through pain)”, the LUCKy actor turns to a star making a lot of money at the expense of his emotions (his love).

Impressions –
The Start of the movie. The 2 min starting-credits song can be termed as ‘the casting song’ for bollywood, defining many categories in film production. Aamir Khan. Less than 60 sec on the screen, still you will feel the perfection in his Gurudutt act. Anurag Kashyap, fabulous as story-writer. Farhan Akhtar – actor he is. His form after
ROCK ON still rocks. Rishi Kapoor & Dimple’s Combo effort. The sponty chemistry between the two is charming and affable. Rest of the impressions include – Roshan baba, Sanjay ‘once-i-was-an-actor’ Kapoor, Saurabh Shukla, Juhi aunty and Isha ‘sensuous’ Sharwani. All played there parts with total satisfaction.

Negatives –

Sobbing scenes of Konkona Sen. First Half was a bit sluggish. Also, the climax of the movie seems to be a bit incomplete and lack satisfaction.

Luck by chance is a spoof when you look it with eyes with which people saw page 3. But it’s even better than that. Luck by chance contains an impressive array of actors and also tries to narrate the reality of reel. However, it can’t be compared to great classic ‘Guddi’ (starring Dharmendra, Jaya Bachchan), which had adopted cult status when we talk about movies telling bollywood tales. Still, it can easily come under ‘paise- vasool’ category.

PS: Luck By Chance in normal life can be more than cruel sometimes. Imagine getting transferred to a location where your ex works. Luck By Chance reduces to Life By Chance.


The writer here is professional computer engineer working as a consultant from Lucknow (only ....).

LUCK BY CHANCE
“I don’t believe in destiny, I believe in me”

Saturday, December 20, 2008

So I bid you all adieu…

“Time made me, Time found you, Time made us friends, Time changed trends, Time made us smile, Time made us loose, Time educated us, Time made us learn and Time made us earn too, Time...And now it's Time for a Goodbye (Time changes every second, but hey it cannot change me and you :))................Cheers”
- my gtalk status

And it SPEAKs a lot. It speaks a story from start to current. Today, when I see myself setting to a different direction, I find a new change in me. I don’t get sleepy here. But I want to save that for the new place. I don’t want to eat out today. May be because I know for the next many months, I don’t have that home food. And today I feel a lot more responsible and many more…

And it’s not me who feel like this. ‘Friends’ too!! Ladies and gentlemen who never initiated chats with me, started becoming initiators. ‘Hies’, ‘Hellos’, ‘Take Care’ and ‘Best of Luck’ messages flooded my already very untidy desktop fetching me a comfy feeling of ‘bye-bye’ (muah!). And you like it. At my office too, as soon as I went public with my ‘bye-bye’, all had strange goodbye stamps with warm smiles on their faces. And you like it…damn you like that farewell’s limelight.

Will be missing my friends, will be missing my city and more importantly will be missing some part of me too. May God give me strength to cope up with activities like washing clothes, etc. Washing clothes! Oh my God. My prediction is that I will be close to the nomadic culture very soon and may end up becoming a nomad itself.

I am optimistic wanderer and an explorer. That’s sums up for a ‘wild animal’. And wild animals love humans. A new place and you meet some new people. And like always, you will find some new maniacs like yourself. Cheers

It’s late and have to travel early morning…….I bid you all adieu…

“choti si ye duniya,
anjaane raaste hai mere,
kahin tum miloge,
to poochenge haal,
choti si ye duniya”

I commit SPEAKing PICtures will be alive

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Late Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan: An Ironic End

“mein khud se to parchit na hua
par ratano ko jaanene ki tamaana rahkta hoon
vo chale gaye to kya hua
unki ruuh se milne ki aasha karta hoon”

Sentiments inside me were high. My timeline stopped for a few seconds and the cursory look changed into a pensive stare. And I smiled because I realized my helplessness. Wish I was a God. Wish I was a judge of humanity. But reality always ditches you…ironic! Isn’t it?

Mumbai saw India’s deadliest terrorist attacks in recent times this Nov. On 26th Nov around 1 AM IST, my friend Karan (currently in Mumbai) told me to switch my TV on. Period. That night I went to sleep around 5 in the morning, witnessing the ordeal LIVE. Seeing terrorists firing at reporters from a hijacked police car and that too LIVE on television shocked me. I believe ‘Shock’ is a small term here; for 15 min I wasn’t able to understand the television. Everything was happening like a bad dream. Wish it would have been a dream and not a reality ever. But…Won’t say more…read newspapers

Approx. 180 died in the attacks…

On 3rd Dec 2008, I came across Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s profile on Orkut. Major Sandeep passed away while he was in command in Operation Cyclone at Taj Heritage Hotel in Mumbai. At first glance, the profile seemed an original one. He had a ‘stud-y’ profile pic along with many pics and videos in his collection.

Bang! something I saw which perturbed me…

Out of the 4 videos appearing on his profile, 3 belonged to a band named ‘Strings’ (a Pakistani band, one of my favorites too). I went inside his video collection and found 15 out of 24 videos selected by him belonged to Strings. Huff! A storm was there in my mind. I don’t know what struck me; may be I became too emotional in that hour of morning (3 AM). I asked my conscience how this can be possible, on one hand he loved songs by Pakistanis and on other he was killed by bullets of Pakistanis. IRONY…many incidents have no justification yet they happen…why? (Even I have no answer to it)

Ps: - Some of the videos selected by him – Khawab, Zinda Hoon, Duur, Aakri Alvida Na Ho. (Even the names are ironic! Isn’t it?)

I am putting a picture of the martyr symbolizing the calmness reflected from him (read for more on Sandeep). God should have been more compassionate towards him…May his soul rest in peace
‘Do not come up, I will handle them’
- Maj. Sandeep Unnikrishnan- 1977-2008


Lastly, I read some statements about Porkistan in international media. They are ‘to the point’ and I won’t strike any word out of it. JUST Totally Apt and Befitting for Porkistan.
“Pakistan has everything that gives you an international migraine. It has nuclear weapons, it has terrorism, extremists, corruption, is very poor and it's in a location that's really, really important (referring to neighbourhood of India)…” - former US secretary of state Madeleine Albright.
Porkistan will face very tough times ahead (and anybody having doubts is basically fooling himself!! BEWARE).
JAI HIND