those last steps...last 500 m

Those last steps...last 500m and still a 4 point SOMEONE

Just got out of a dream and felt the need to share it. Inside the dream, my eyes visualized a virtual man, lets call him Mr. 'Someone'.
Mr. Someone was a struggler living amidst more bedraggled strugglers. But who isn't a struggler in this filthy meany world. Here's the catch! this Mr. Someone is a different specie, he struggles with fun to achieve comforts. Salute to Mr. Someone...the hostellers

In my dream, I saw myself as that Mr. Someone. It was my last day at college. I somehow did what I haven't managed to do in my 4 yrs of engg...opened eyes at 8 am...thereby shocking my roomie (Mr. Some-other-one). Mr. Some-other-one, a third year chap soon started the work for which he is not meant for; lecturegiri: "bhai aaj tu jaa raha hai, ab mein kiske sahare jeenunga” (cry??)

Something from inside inspired my dreamy avatar (Mr. Someone) to do that special bit of hard work (good morning that is!!). Hostel toilets have never seen queues, nor saw those today. But I was kind of getting sentimental about everything; remember ‘it was the last day’. Dressing in a peculiar way was a habit now, which showed signs of permanentness in me. For the last time I visited my mess, for the last time I had that mess khana, which tasted pathetic as always. But today, I wanted gallons, I wanted quintals…Remember, everything was the last time.

I saw my dreamy avatar taking his luggage from his hostel cage. I saw myself hugging my partner animal, Mr. Some-other-one for the last time. As I was moving out for the last time, nostalgic moments stuck with full force. Juniors tried their best in making of a picture-perfect ‘dhulaniya’ farewell. Some drops were also fallen from our heart through our eyes…

Those last steps for that 500m walk started now. My first step and the pain started (the only time, it had been genuine). My hostel boundary ended and I found myself standing what used to be the ‘fag-point’ earlier. Now another hostel is coming up. Another place for holding up more animals (presumably better for mankind). As I moved my journey forward, I silently passed through teacher’s colony. With that, another set of memories reminisce passed my mind, memories of assignments, memories of scolds and more memories of those threats from HIM. Every class has a HIM, he scolds us, gives ‘F grade’ threats, sometimes harsh comments, he makes our life miserable BUT then he only teaches you the real things and it’s because of him you are passing out as a complete market material. My last salute to him, the last time.

Hostel zone was a past now and my life was going to see a bright future amidst the congested INDIAN IT sector. But presently, I was walking besides our two cricket grounds (ek kehan A, ek kahen B). The latter was our adda, a place where we played cricket, soccer, wrestling and other outdoor sports with someothers, meanwhile the former was meant to be a showpiece. To sleep on A’s green carpet still remained a dream and don’t know when it will accomplish.

Last 100 m and I stood on the road staring at the scar on the left wall of the main campus. It perfectly matched with my scar on my left hand. Both got their respective scars, when I rammed Someone-else’s bike on the main-campus wall. Both scars were permanent (atleast for now). But someday both will meet their fate; one will get healed naturally while other will be painted artificially.

Last 50m, I was standing between the volleyball court (host to the great CVL - Computer Volley League) and the INDIAN bank staring at the fee counter. A pause happened and I smiled…I smiled because of a paradox (rather a monetary injustice – my monthly salary will be higher than what I deposited at this counter for four years). Astonishing!! isn't it!

That’s it, I have entered into a vicious cycle now – a cycle in which I will witness fake smiles of my boss, another group of friends (read social network, since friendship is seldom these days) and GOD knows what all !! Here I am, standing at the bus stand and still remembering those 'gone-in-a-blink’ 4 years of my teenage and still feeling a four point someone (each year getting equal point, no relation to SPIs :P).

(Here comes 507, boarding it…and the dream ends)...

And also ended THE real dream…a dream which was seen by an engg aspirant for getting into a top engg college (please read IIT) and to get lucrative high-pay jobs…

But there is the paradox, now when most of us carry respectable IT jobs, I feel that this dream was just a compulsion and won’t give us the quality of happiness which simple-simple college moments have given. And well, I have a saying in support of my conclusion :-

“Best moments in life come through most simple channels”

what say ;) Cheers

GOA - land of sand, sun and fun

TWICE in one month...went GOA...and again want to GO GOA

Life in INDIAN metros is not quality life. It’s full of stress and seldom have you discovered happiness in your activities. I had an unpleasant phase in my life and I was away from everything (this blog too). But then I asked a question?

“kya bolta hai…phir se chalega” (so, what say!! second time??)
These were the decisive words which I told myself to convince me to go to Goa for a second time in one month. Also, I would like to thank Sandy for his words “tu yahan (Delhi) mein karega kya?” which acted as the catalyst in my decision. Since I am an avid traveller and have confronted many ‘unique adventurous trips’ earlier, the ‘YES’ for this one wasn’t against me. My first trip was with my parents in the month of Jan, 2008. Well, if you plan to go with your parents, you will ENJOY but the constraint on real enjoyment will be quite high (take my word on this).

My second trip was a college trip (final year Computer Engg). Likewise previous years, this time too final year decided to go to Goa (an old ancestral ritual inherited from our immediate seniors). At this point, it would be unfair on my part if I don’t mention the contribution of Janab, who made the trip possible.
Below is the itinerary (4 days + 3 days traveling) we followed, which may help you when you decide your itinerary for Goa. For formal itinerary (click)

Went by – Sampark Kranti (Chandigrah-Kochuveli), Sleeper class (waaaooo…)
Duration – 32 hours
Pros – Konkan Railway track (nice work done)
Cons – Really really bad food
How to time pass – play assignment-assignment (revised version of DC comprising of bhojpuri, Telgu, Tamil and other ‘male-puller-movies’). More included usual antashkari, train-singer-competition (Sandy, the unanimous victor) and comical enactments (BVS stole the show for this intro for the bhojpuri movie – “current maare goriya”). Boring timepass activities include newspapers (which stated headline as Ishant Sharma getting just 3.8 Crore for 10 matches (GOD!! How can you pay so0O less to a human…blame BCCI…)
Food – Fast or Starve if you want to survive but don’t eat what they serve in the name of tasty food. Alternatively, you can have delicacies of various states e.g. – lassi @ Kota (class..), batata-vada /dal-vada @ Panvel, etc)
Statuary warning – do carry blankets (not bedsheets, not shawls). Remember you will be passing through Rajasthan at night…and for all those who think Rajasthan is one of the hottest areas in INDIA, do add its name in the list of coldest places)

Our stay was at Madgaon Railway Station (the night we landed there) and it was very entertaining. The railway station was less messy, better maintained and cleaner than my room, so I liked it. You can sleep anywhere you want…wow (apart from the railway tracks, reason – noise is catastrophic there). Also, Goa is not like Delhi/Mumbai, hence it accounts for very less number of moving tin-boxes (read taxis if you want). As a result you have ample space in the parking lot to play non-Olympic games like kho-kho and dodge ball (at 3 a.m.). But what stole my heart were the cartoons embarked on the walls of the railway station (a delight for cartoon-lovers). Lastly carrying movies in mobile isn’t a bad idea: I saw Ratatouille…long-live Prateek's N-73.

Early morning, the bigger tin (bus) arrived and transported us to our zoo (our hotel was located at Calangute, Goa’s most popular beach). The no. denomination of cages (otherwise called rooms) were of two types – 6/3 persons. I went for 3 occupant’s room with Mr. Bobo and Bade-Baba. And we got a honeymoon suite to adjust ourselves.

First day of the trip was supposed to be rest day but afternoon saw nobody in (and everybody out) of hotel. At that moment, I thought I was the only living soul left by mistake. But thankfully, cage no. 303 had full occupancy. On my request Mr. Era, Money G, Sawhney and Fahim went with me to the beach (just for a walk). Meanwhile, Tau and Sandy were wandering for their roommates who left along with the room keys…

Some first-lookers were mesmerized by the beach and the ocean. But what followed next was unexpected unusual mind-diverting adventure. As I don’t want my article to be in lust-alluring 18+ adult controversies, I would like to stop here. But, bachelors can opt for a (4 + 4) km walk (Calangute-Bagga-Calangute). By lunch, Delhi-clothing style changed appropriately to Goan. Post-lunch saw good things happening to me again (got a 3*NORMAL swollen left foot on the first day of my trip). Thanks to the TV channels saying “young & youth INDIA is determined”, I went with others to the beach for bathing. Rest was fun :) Night was dedicated to boiling water, iodex, relixspray, combiflam (thanks to Su, Bade-Baba, Alan for their medicinal support).

DAY TWO was a scheduled tour of North-Goa.
Stop 1 – Aquada Fort
Features – nice rocky fort with picturesque backdrops of ocean and sun. Many people tried to enact the famous 3-guys DCH pose.




Stop 2 – Vagator Beach
Features - It’s a long picturesque beach, apt for taking photographs. Carry volleyball with you and that will act as an asset as the beach has provisions for volley nets. Remember to visit both sides of hill and do capture moments from the hilltop.







Stop 3 – Anjuna Beach
Features – beach is famous for red soil, hippies and natural stones. You can also find cute tiny crabs, beautiful scorpions and other lovely aquatic species there. Some people get an adrenal push here and trek their way to the highest point of Anjuna. The terrain of the climb is really rocky and slippery. Small rocky pebbles act as rollers and your shoes as skateboards and thus help your cause to derail down. Do remember! climbing is easy but subsiding is very tough. Take care…
(Me and Mr. Bobo tried to replicate the path taken by our other classmates, but averted that decision after covering 60% of the path)


Stop 4 – Calangute Beach
Features – It’s a beach for papa-mummy-munna-munni i.e. ‘the great INDIAN family’. Domestic tourists crowd the whole beach and bathing in a major activity here. Calangute is famous for water-sports.

Stop 5 - Bagga Beach
Features – Bagga is an extension of Calangute. Most of Goa’s best resorts and clubs (Tito’s) are located here. Most celebrated activity here is sun-bathing (another form of sleeping).

Scheduled tour ends but the best part was due next. Goa is a wanderer’s paradise and scheduled tours are not the best means to visit the countryside and the beaches (if you are with parents, tours and taxis are more suitable). Rate guide – Rs. 800/taxi for North Goa (Rs. 400 extra for Morjim and Arambol) and Rs. 1000/taxi for South Goa (excluding spice gardens). With the help of an initiative taken by Mr. Jhahil (aka Jaleel), animals of various rooms got together and decided to hire bikes/Activas (the best way to tour Goa). Rate guide – Rs. 300 /day/bike. Petrol – Rs. 60/litre (Goa doesn’t have petrol pumps).
All men ready by 5 pm.

Next Stop – Chapra Fort
Features – One of the best places in Goa. This fort is situated next to the Vagator beach and provides a great view of Morjim beach from above. The fort demands a steep climb but the effort is all worth. As you enter the fort, move on to the DCH point (you can only identify that point if you have seen that famous scene of Dil Chahta Hai). At the DCH point, its all ……(no words here)…Just sit on the fort’s boundary, try to focus your vision on the Arabian Sea horizon & the setting Sun and let yourself expose to the non-stop non-disturbing 40 kmph breeze. The scene will leave you in a state of purification and the breeze will erase your tensions/stresses/strains. Try to rediscover the reality in you because once you are here you won’t be the same person as you were in your city/workplace/etc…

Next Stop – Saturday Night Market
Features – Stalls set up by mostly foreigners. Nice unique unconventional market with a lot of overpricing. All living creatures (Sharks, Octopus) available in Arabian Sea are served here in food stalls and people actually eat them…how?? Vegetarian people can avoid this place. No fares for becoming witness to belly dance and fire music (class)…Mr. HIV’s smartness and conscience was really appreciative here!!

Night was dedicated to interesting twists and strange tales and mad enactments by some of us (animals). But then some humans are always there to prey them…

DAY THREE –
Our stay at Calangute compelled us to dedicate early morning to watersports @ Calangute. If you are not interested in watersports, bathing is another choice. For all those who suffer from deficiency of salts & minerals, bathing will help you in your re-nourishing. Incase you are a swimmer, try ‘floating’ in the seawater (experience of a free-float is really awesome). Some of the activities along with there mini fares (subject to your negotiation capabilities) -
- parasailing (Rs 300 pp)
- water scooters (Rs 100 for couple)
- banana boat (Rs. 75 pp)
- trips to meet dolphins (Rs 125 pp) etc.
A word of caution: do wear life-jackets as the floor of Arabian Sea is not that shallow.

Post-lunch, the petrol woman (who spoke some bizarre ciphered language at the top of her voice) was again seen in action. One of the accompanying animals (Mr. Billi) was falsely accused of not paying the fare for one litre…but then ‘billi bike lekar bhaag gayi’ (cat on the bike fled).

Destination – Morjim Beach
Features – Best Place in Goa for me. This beach is quite far and demands an hour drive from Calangute. It’s away from commercialization and you witness the ‘naked plain beach laid with cleft-free sand amidst a very nearby Sun, hidden behind a not-so calm Arabian Sea’. Left end of the beach has the ‘tributary-sea’ meeting point and across that water body lays the Chapra fort. Breeze is quite windy here and when it erodes the top-layer sand with it, the whole picturesque takes an adorable ‘duststorm’ angle. Philosophy is inevitable here. Some of you will question yourselves and discover more. I too did. But there were some questions to which solutions aren’t possible like “why is our life like rivers meandering b/t the opposite banks (the success one and the failure one), why isn’t our life like beaches…no deviation…why not happily content with simple straight life?” Don’t litter on this beach…you may curse yourself by saying…”oh! I was the first person to drop a plastic bag in Morjim”.

Next Destination – Anjuna 2
Features – Anjuna 2 is a hidden beach which lies in the interior. While Anjuna sees a lot of INDIAN tourists, they aren’t seen on this beach. Anjuna 2 has previously been in news for hippies, rave parties, drugs and other activities which home/school/college doesn’t permit. For reaching Anjuna 2 - take left after reaching Anjuna and drive until your bike doesn’t skid. Now walk until you reach the hill just in front of horizon. Basically, it’s a 3 km walk. The coastline has many stark chaste restaurants named ‘shacks’ alongside rip-roaring waters abuzz with frust-filled rowdiness. Anjuna 2 is nowdays a lot in media for the Scarlet Keeling murder case. When you reach the hill, mount it and appreciate the rocky terrain. If you like rocky terrain and peace, you can try this beach otherwise it can be avoided.

Back in hotel, night was celebrated as Tau’s 22nd birthday. “At the stroke of midnight hour, when the world sleeps, WE awoke to life and freedom. A moment comes which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, then an age ends, and when the soul of a nation (and a class), long suppressed, finds utterance. It is fitting that at this solemn moment we take pledge of dedication to attend Tau’s birthday.” And we did the faithful according to the famous speech. Birthdays in INDIA are a paradox. Cakes are cut but they seldom go into mouth. People prefer to give facial massages to the lad instead. Contrary to blessings, bumps are given (most acceptable form of beating) and after then too, the boy gracefully blushes. I apologize for not being an active participant in this holy ritual (handicap reasons). Hopefully the MAN will forgive me one day!!

DAY FOUR was a scheduled tour of South-Goa.

STOP - Dona Paula
Features – Old landmark of Goa. Dolphins can be spotted in seawater when looked with concentration.




STOP – Miramar Beach
Features – Located in the capital of the state (Panjim). Swimming and other commercial activities are strictly prohibited.



STOP – Colva Beach
Features – Longest beach in Goa. It is very far from North Goa and hence, the crowd on this beach never falls under ‘populous’ bracket. Seawater is very clean and I rate it as the best beach for bathing. Another thing I like about this one is its sand. Dreams of making sand-palaces / sand engineering colleges (wow!!) and writing names can be transformed into reality on this place…an idyllic experience

Other places to visit – Mangueshi Temple, Old Goa Churches (World Heritage Site), Spice Garden, Big Fort, etc. Also, cruise (read ‘disco trips on ship’) at evenings from Panjim is another interesting option.

Our last night in Goa was dedicated to local shopping in Calangute. Remember – goods are highly overpriced here. Night was dedicated to packing and other interesting tales.

Went back by – Goa Sampark Kranti (Goa-Nizamuddin), Sleeper class (waaaooo…)
Duration – 32 hours
Pros – Good Food
Cons – Man! You are leaving Goa...
How to time pass – in memories of Goa…
Statuary warning – same as earlier in forward journey

This isn’t complete…there are places which I have heard but wasn’t able to visit in my two trips. Some of them are – Dudhsagar waterfall, Arambol (the triangular beach), Palolem (the Paradise beach), etc…

Points to remember –
1) Wherever you go, don’t litter…clean beaches are the USP of Goa.
2) Don’t go deep into sea, nature can anytime overcome you.
3) Before availing any watersports facilities, check there credentials.
4) In the list of varieties of water, drinking water is at no. 3 after saltwater and liquor.
5) Food may be an issue if you are a vegetarian north-INDIAN foodie…excluding Panjim (being the capital, it has many good eateries).
6) Make negotiation a habit during our stay in Goa.
7) In the spirit of adventure, don't go or try to sleep in deep sea without life-jackets and don't even dare to taste sharks/prawns if you are a veggi...

THE JINX

Ok!! We went there and now GOA is in news for all bad things (our jinx). After Scarlet Keeling rape-murder/drowning/drug-overdose case, strange aberrant things have happened to Goa. Some of the recent laws in 2008 – (a) No liquor after 11 pm (b) All shacks/discos/clubs are to be closed by midnight (c) 10% extra entertainment tax on casinos (d) ban on land purchase for foreigners (e) any purchase of land by foreigners for business purposes (including installing pan-stalls, etc) is to be have mandatory clearance from RBI…etcetera

But analyzing these laws, it gives me a sense of satisfaction that atleast places like Goa are still managing to survive amidst the devil (tourism industry). Most of the foreigners (some people name them ‘white trash’) come to Goa for unethical desires which are ok to some extent, but I saw & we saw that the condition (in Feb’08, when the tour was made) was beyond the Lakshman-Rekha.

Hoping Goa will be cool forever as, :-)

“ANKIT WAS HERE”

- all pics (with dates) courtesy Tau’s Canon and all pics (without dates) courtesy Prateek’s N-73)

Lyrics: Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaye

This song belongs to a masterpiece called “ANAND”. Even after watching so many movies, I still rate this one as my best. Simply because you will encounter many movies which will make you feel good or appreciative towards it, but ANAND is one movie which always puts me back on the positive philosophical vision whenever I dare to wander in the dark shades.

The song helps you to go deep inside yourself and ask the questions which are embedded inside the lyrics…the best thing about the song is the optimism which it follows like the last stanza –
“Man has dreams in him and slowly as time proceeds they hide somewhere inside him; he himself forgets those dreams he had seen once and then blame & curse others for not getting his pie. But when he has nothing to loose, optimism and hope brings those dreams to reality and then he cherishes those ‘I-saw-once’ dreams. Life is hope: a hope to give you happiness…”

The lyrics :

Kahiin duur jab din Dhal jaae
Saa.njh kii dulhan badan churaae
Chupake se aae
Mere Kayaalon ke aangan mein
Koi sapanon ke deep jalaae, deep jalaae
Kahiin duur ...

Kabhii yuuhiin, jab huii., bojhal saansein
Bhar aaii baithe baithe, jab yuunhiin aankhein
Tabhii machala ke, pyaar se chhala ke
Chhue koii mujhe par nazar na aae, nazar na aae
Kahii.n duur ...

Kahiin to ye, dil kabhii, mil nahi paate
Kahiin se nikal aae, janmon ke naate
Ghanii thii ulajhan, bairii apanaa maan
Apanaa hii hoke sahe dard paraae, dard paraae
Kahii.n duur ...

Dil jaane, mere saare, bhed ye gahare
Ho gae kaise mere, sapane sunahare
Ye mere sapane, yahii to hain apane
Mujhase judaa na honge inake ye saaye, inake ye saaye
Kahii.n duur ...

Movie Name: ANAND (1970)
Singer: Mukesh Sahab
Music Director: Salil Chowdhury
Lyrics: Yogesh
Year: 1970
Producer: Sippy N C
Director: Shri Hrishikesh Mukherjee
Actors: Rajesh khanna, Amitabh Bachchan, Johny Walker, Ramesh Deo, Seema, Sumitra
Theme: Family Drama/ Positivity in life

Is the song inspired or is it an original creation? It is INSPIRED…but if one has to understand the meaning of the word ‘inspiration’…take this as example. Music taken from a bengali song ..."amaye prosno koreye nil-dhrubotara" sung by Hemanta Kumar... with same music director.

“Hope is a good thing, may be the best of things And no good thing ever dies”…The Shawshank Redemption

Hum Tum

A cartoon post after a very long period (18 months) and what a way to arise to the occasion; back with the two indelible cartoons idols – Hum and Tum. Salute to the man who created these. Meanwhile, two lines for each from this cartoonist -

Master HUM - a cool customer, his debonair reflects naughtiness and the best thing about him; he always manages to wear those tension-free smiles.

Miss TUM – Always in ‘pink’ and her looks radiates harmful ultra-attitude waves….

Hopefully more cartoons coming soon (an optimist’s view)…

If you take any view/angle about anything (about the topic, some improvements which you can point out, characters/personalities whom you wish to cartoonize(see) through me in future, etc…) please lend your words to my ears through comments…

bricks & bouquets, criticism & compliments…..ALWAYS WELCOME

The Making of Minor Report

...in moments of madness

We all are creators since we all have some really interesting creations to our credit. You and I have made tons of interesting rubbish (like assignments and notes and files and registers and slides and ……add thesis too) in our past and most of us will continue to do the same to make the economy stronger. Dunno why I inserted economy into this…anyways here goes my tale…

One day left before my minor project and I received an extraordinary idea…”why not submit a report along with the project, it looks nice”. Well it was unusual for me to get these types of ‘extra-burden’ ideas. So, what got me that idea? I took a dip into my memory blocks and got the answer….teachers aur kaun (who else)??

I with my project-partner ‘Money G’ started drafting the ‘report-to-be-submitted-after-one-day’ around 10 pm. Then we realized, ohh we haven’t done our project yet (FINGERPRINT RECOGNITION). We called up friends and techies and non-techies and … (infact we called everybody except police, ambulance and fire-brigade). Indians know their juggad and bingo! we too got the problem sorted out in style (esp. thanks to JeetS).

Around 2 am something happened. Everything was going smooth. The report was in vicinity to completion. But then, suddenly I saw some indentation errors and the next moment, I was glaring at a rapidshare link for downloading Foxit (software for editing pdf! Yeah PDFs can also be edited). I generally don’t use Windows for downloading from non-trusted sites, but my greed for sleep compelled me towards downloading from rapidshare and before I closed my eyes; my computer did, with some ugly unfavorable unwanted and unusual signals. When I restarted, I could read my night’s fate…

“picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”
(movie is extended by a few more hours)

Those moments of madness took away my sleep that night. But thanks to Linux (Fc6), I was able to make backups for all the work and simultaneously, a phoenix rose within me thanks to the trio of (Die Hard 4 + Fc6 Dvd + a Centre-Fresh)…and…

I DECIDED TO FORMAT

Though it wasn’t necessary since I had Linux as the life-saving OS, but without ado I went ahead with my momentary decision.

Installing Windows is great time-pass. The jokes which appear on that pale-blue monitor keeps the smile on your face intact during that 39 min setup wait. Some of my favourites :-



1) Work anywhere, anytime (it was 3:15 am by my watch, the time when I read this)
2) The most dependable Windows (not without an anti-virus…that too UPDATED)
…
…
n) Your computer will be faster and more reliable (but this becomes obvious once you format your Windows drive! don’t you think the same??)

Soon I was able to see the clean face of windows and immediately set the priority of updating my anti-virus from last to first. What I wasn’t able to understand why we take momentary decisions? Why do we listen to voices of madness? On restoring my net connection, I tried Googling for an answer. Google gave me many examples (such as AIDS cases, road accidents, etc) but didn’t return any satisfactory reasons. I am still pondering on why I went for that link and then why I went ahead with the format decision…
Humans have brains but they have to recharge with sleeps to run them. So, I went into my heaven for a nice resting period. But still the questions remained unanswered…

Watch out what’s on your Greasy Spoon…

…a reality check on Delhi’s Out(Eat)aries

The pictures which are used in this ‘eye-opener’ belongs to a road side eatery namely ‘Sindhi Dhaba’, located outside a south Delhi cineplex - Sangam (the one near DPS RK Puram). It is NO hot place to eat (and neither meant to be), but for some it may act as a stopover eatery.
I went for a movie few days back and while waiting for the tickets, snapped some pictures which were….hmmm!! dunno how to describe them but all I can say is that they weren’t hygienic…

Take 1:
An innocent worker following one of the very old ‘foxing’ marketing methods i.e. “old shirt in a new packet”. Imagine sweetened royal ‘asian-paint’ inside that kerosene container served in the name tomato ketchup...yaik, vaqq thu…can’t even think of the taste!!


Take 2:
Just try to read the dejected waiter’s expressions. He looks towards the chiefs with a body language symbolizing a complain, saying – “Its all MCD’s (Municipal Corporation of Delhi) fault. They should have provided us with clean drinking water. Why should I purify it?”



Take 3:
(Disclaimer to all esp. animal rights fighters: the animal wasn’t forced for this pose, some things just come so naturally).


Hope you all got the idea of hygiene conditions of our road-side stalls/vendors/etc :P But then, our bodies are so immune now, that we can take anything…
McD, CCD, Barista and all other dhabas of foreign origin are heaven in comparison to these. And, haan hostel mess and college canteens too :)

Bolo "OM Shanti OM"

I don’t consider Farha Khan a superb director. But, I reconsider my stand now. The lady has created a marvelous work (though not perfect, but largely satisfying in terms of entertainment). My ratings for OSO: (4 – 0.31 =) 3.69 / 5 (-0.31 for the SRK’s overacting)

OSO is a complete film - a film about films (1970s-2007). It has all stuff in it, every type of cinema you can think of…comedy, horror, drama, tragedies, love-filled-dreams, etc. Infact, if you do a rigorous analysis of the script and the way it has been portrayed, you will come to an ‘award-winning’ conclusion for the movie.

Story:

Story of OSO is one of its major USPs. Though most parts of the script have been taken from numerous blockbusters (Karz, etc), OSO when seen as a whole package is anytime entertaining. The makers have assured that the movie is accepted by all types and also turns out to be a highly successful commercial venture. OSO major characters include a junior artist (aapna-chotu), an INDIAN beauty (Ms. Waah-waah) and ‘bigname’ film-maker (the-ganda-bacha). The minor characters include junior’s mother (chotu-ki-ma) and junior’s bro (chotu-ka-bada-bhai). It also contains numerous other genuine authentic moviestars and uncountable look-alikes. Please take my apologies as I can’t elaborate on those look-likes (they were just everywhere in the movie). Here’s a brief summary –

1970s: aapna-chotu falls in love with Ms. Waah-waah. But she is having some major panga with the-ganda-bacha. Conclusively, the-ganda-bacha takes the lead in the first half by Ctrl+Alt+Del Ms. Waah-waah & aapna-chotu. But post interval is magic. with

2007: Thanks to ‘bhagwan ka karishma’ aapna-chotu reincarnates himself onto an overactor (who else, Mr. SRK). Now, he along with chotu-ki-ma, chotu-ka-bada-bhai, etc takes revenge with the-ganda-bacha. Ms. Waah-waah too has a role to play! Watch out

Actors and Overactors:

On technical lines, OSO must have 30+ actors in it (you name it and all are present in the OSO family…Big B, Chotu B, Aks Baby, Dharam Chacha, Mithun Da, Munnabhai, Dinosaur Morea, Saif Baba, Sallu Bhai, Chi-chi uncle, Shetty Bhaiya, etc etc…). Same is the case with actresses (Ms. World, Ms. Universe, Ms. Asia Pacific, Shridevi aunty, Oye-kuch-mila Matolkar, Vidya Belan, Piya Mirza, Kaju-roll, D®ekha didi, Pretty Sinta, etc etc….even memory + can’t get me more names).

Official Actors and official Overactors:

KKKK….Khan (plays aapna-chotu) – Won’t be criticizing him much, because he actually acted in some scenes. His funny scenes in first half were really well appreciative. Esp. the scene in which he fights the Archies’ Lion and then slaps him saying, “Pussy Cat Pussy Cat, where have you been? I have been to London to see the Queen...Bad CAT…Naughty Pussy.” Must say, he played his 1970 part very wisely. But coming into 2007, his overacting returns. Same overacting senti scenes…..And about those 6 packs, as Salaman Khan said and I quote “Shahrukh’s six pack must have turned into four by now”..YES they have :P

ShriYA Tadpale (plays chotu-ka-bada-bhai) – full justice to his role.

Kiran Kheer (plays chotu-ki-ma) – Awesome acting skills shown esp. in her 1970s part.

Armstrong Rampal (the-ganda-bacha) – This is easily his best performance. He plays the villain of OSO and bang!! plays the role with style.

My (oops Ms.) Deepika Padukone (Ms. Waah-waah) – This gorgeous beautiful debutant will surely do well (no second thoughts). The charm and the elegance she carries with her is miraculously mind-boggling. The best part in her is her face – simply angelic and adorable. And what to say about the dimpled smile, her one smile can erase away all the tensions of the world. The dresses she wore in the movie make her more alluring (esp. the 1970s ones). Summing up, I won’t call her ‘sexy’; rather I would call her ‘sunder’…a simple sunder INDIAN beauty :). Note: She should not be compared with any other actresses (of which most of them have headline as: Love me, love my dog :P). And as far as acting is concerned, her 1970’s version role wasn’t that tough, but still it was justified to perfection. Flaws did came in the second half (2007’s version), but they were minor.

The (+)es

OSO gives you that retro feel, an uncommon trait. Also, the first half is a cool breezier and has all types of cinema in it – drama, love, romance, tragedy, etc. First half is flawless. Presence of so0O many stars is an addition fascinating reason.

The (-)es

Second half will surely give you some disappointments. That 10 min 31 stars enabled song is a waste and breaks down the pace of the picture a bit. Another song, dedicated to SRK’s 6 pack is an unnecessary entry. Infact, Akshay Kumar overshadowed him in the first 30 min of the second half with his 2 min gag. Ending too could have been better.

But do watch it…nice entertainer…poora paisa vasool :)

BHOOL BHULAIYA....“Mein na bhooloonga”

Before starting my review, cinema owners here in South Delhi are doing a blunder. Only one hall has all 4 shows running for this great extravaganza. Just dunno why, even with a dud opening, cineplexes here are showing YR banner's laaga chunari mein dog (oops!! daag)...this posh elite Yash Raj banner is ruining movie watching in here :(. Ticket taking is tougher than taking nobel prizes these days....but I got it...

Coming back to the movie, let me present you my ratings (4/5)....bang!! Why?? New concept, presence of awesome acting acumen, a nice plot and a super musiz score!! A fultoo entertainer

Bhool Bhulaiya is an out-of-tradition movie by Priyan saheb (creator of comic geniuses). It's an irony that his movies are always perceived as comedy oriented stuff (thanks to the Great Indian Stereotyping). But Priyadarshan has taken himself out from his mistaken identity through Bhool Bhulaiya; he has turned away form slapstick stuff and moved towards more sensible stuff. But still! Comedy isn't the central idea of this movie. As you must have seen in ads, Bhool Bhulaiya is a psychological thriller (and yes!! for once, they deliver what they say in trailers). Glad, the Bhagam Bhag flaw was corrected!
But Waaait!!, this flick has a new element!! suprize suprize, HORROR (hee hee haa haa)...yeah man! the movie does contains few seconds of horror (a major reason of disappointment).

Story of Bhool Bhulaiya resides in a huge mysterious mansion and this mansion has all in it, right from posh corridors to 'bhootbangla' type lounges. Ambiance inside range from Baba Alam's paintings to Mohanjodaaro's jewels (now available on Janpath's footpaths). The locals and caretakers (comprising of the usual Priyadarshan party – Paresh, Manoj Joshi, etc) have firm belief that the mansion hosts multiple ghosts, bhoot-pret-aatma species and more lovely people in it, (so, whats the big deal...nothing!! they are just afraid to enter the palace). Then arrives the Amriki couple (Shiny Ahuja, Vidya Belan), who are the actual owners of the ghost-palace. Amrikans generally dunno care about humans, so why would they care about ghosts. And hence, they started living there.
As time proceeds, things get out of control. Unusual things happen, the bhoot-pret-aatma broadcasts his/her terrorism openly and when the condition gets to extreme level, the Amriki couple tries to outsource the problem (as usual). Tring tring, a call is made to Dr. Srivastava (Aks Kumar), and bang!! “banda haazir hai” (he is here)...INTERVAL...Post interval, is the story of how Dr. Srivastava cures the whole scenario and how he encounters 'Ms. Monjulika'. Oh! forgot to mention about Miss Monjulika (the name sounds like Ravana's relative, but it's actually the name given to the bhoot-pret-aatma specie of the movie). And guess what, she cracks the best PJ of the movie when Dr. Aditya asks "Kaun hai tu?"..and she replies in english.."me! me Monjulika...haa haa..hee hee...lol...PJ" :p


Meanwhile, the only flaw in the movie is the contrast b/t the first and the second half. Both are extremes of each other. Priyadarshan has given a great comedy set-up in first half and tried horror stuff in the latter. Though he has managed to create the plot successfully, by the time eyes are presented with horror stuff, the corresponding mind is still making that transition from the comedy part. Hence, compliments towards the horror side are a bit less.

Cast wise, there are some disappointments. Mr. Paani Ahuja (Oops! Shiny Ahuja) is a walkie talkie oakwood; a man without emotions and meant only for shouting scenes. Amisha Patel is...(who cares). Vidya Belan proves that she wants to be remembered as an actress rather than a boring star...majestic acting. The role of Vidya Belan was first offered to Ms. World Bachaan Ashcoal Rai and Catreena Kaif, but I guess the females didn't have the power to do such a tough job. (Why was it tough? See the movie and answer yourself). The Priyadarshan usual party had a smaller stint in this work, but all gave their best (as usual). Rajpal Yadav is looking handsome than Upen Patel (but his role is just too short). Akshay Kumar is best in funny scenes, but acts wisely as a psychiatrist. The world needs him!!

Lastly, the music store. Its nice, its peppy and supports the movie well esp. Hare Ram Hare Krishna one. Overall, if you are in quest of a typical entertainer, then a must watch.