In an extended Lok sabha session , a vote was held to determine the best country in universe. In an almost unanimous decision, India was voted as best. Score of 100 percent majority was missed by three in Lok Sabha (323 members voted in support of bill and only three voted against it). Even though India was the only option only the ballot, Delhi chief minister Mr. Kejri-wah asked a review of EVM when votes were counted by classroom dictate of raising hands. He shall be protesting about same outside Jantar Mantar from tomorrow. Center of environmental studies has welcomed this gesture as there will lesser cars on roads and Delhi air will be breathable once again for flying birds at Stratosphere level.
BJP bandwagon congratulated PMModi for this turnaround of rankings for India. BJP spokeperson Mr, Shahnawaz commented “India is now most suited place to do business as indigenous organizations like HAL are going cashless”. To highlight this achievement of government, PMModi has launched a new outreach programme targeting wealthy NRIs, headed by Shri Vijay Mallaya. Mr. Mallaya will carry additional responsibility towards promotion of concept “black-is-the-new-white” from his headquarters at London. Congress chief Mr. Rahul Gandhi is against this outsourcing to Mr. Mallaya .
In the interest of democracy, PMModi has just announced that this assignment will go to Mr. Double A Ambani . Cost of the project is now 4 times. PMModi will carry out a special mann-ki-baat where he will tell his travel plan to spread this message of “black-is-the-new-white” in 194 nations of UN . Jet Airlines sees hope of survival, yet again.
India’s music scene has also helped in getting status of numero uno. Hit single “Modi Modi” sung by BJP spokespersons is number 1 on India’s number 1 news channel(s) number 1 slot debate anchored by best of India number 1 billionaires. Whatsapp has also acknowledged efforts of BJP media cell’s hard work in forwarding to groups through Jio network. To celebrate this, Mr. Anuragg Thakur will rap the song in a hoodie made by Namo merchandise along with trailer of The Gully Boy, continuing the rich legacy of smart political marketing.
Beyond humans, Animal planet has also applauded India for its sensitivity, diversity and secular fabric. In a research done by them in the state of Uttar Pradesh, average traffic jams has reduced by 8 times after cows are eligible to play in school grounds. Seeing this brotherhood, Netflix has announced a Mowgli competition. Research also mentioned that no human was harmed in protecting cows.
India was also declared to be world’s safest country to do sex & follow Lord Kama preaching after passing section 377. BJP bandwagon congratulated PMModi and CMYogi for this turnaround of rankings for India. Mr. Gandhi shared a hug emoji to PMModi along with a rainbow petal Lotus. All the newspapers reported that the whole nation is happy. It is truly happiness unlimited as nobody cares about maintaining minimum balance in bank since amount of INR 15 lakhs is to be credited before getting inked for 2019 elections. Paytm has also declared cashback of 5% for Aadhar card holders. With sheer happiness and prosperity all around, general public has gained tolerance, even towards job losses.
The Economist and BBC analysts believe that India may be voted best due its GDP numbers which were calculated basis a new formulae coming from IIT Bhubaneswar. BJP spokesperson commented that this was only possible after PM Modi inaugurated the new campus and one even went on to say that new Indian GDP formulae can solve Fermat’s Last Theorem along with all unsolved problems in Maths .
The session ended with the government condemning Congress for doing nothing for 60 years, Pakistan for its support to terrorists, Navjot Singh Sidhu for its support to Pakistan, Apple for insane Iphone prices and Trump for his reading habits and his lack of vision to outsource labour to hard working Indian cattle class for his Mexican Wall.
Voting will now proceed to Raj Sabha after dinner is taken by whomsoever is present. Supreme Court comments are awaited as they are the only sane bodies who think before passing judgements in today’s best voted India.
