Disclaimer –
writer was an ardent follower of G.I.Joe characters/guns/tanks/missiles at the
time of his childhood.
I have personally shared various posters of this movie on
my Facebook wall, assessing the risk even after witnessing the first part. When
you like something, you start with a default value of acceptable trust. Sad to
say this time, this Joe movie has made me regret my sharing and posting. With a
heavy heart, I give this one 2/5.
Story –
Amidst all the action, the story isn’t something to remember.
G.I.Joe cannot get a worse introduction for its characters as done in the movie.
The movie’s first half engage Joes to acquire nukes from Pakistan and post that
we see some good blasts in order to eliminate Joes. Cobra infiltrates the White
House and orders of elimination directly come from Zartan (who transform
himself to the President of United States, thanks to nanobytes). Post the
elimination exercise, only three Joes are left alive – Roadblock, Flint and
Lady Jaye. The limelight shifts from Joes to Cobra. Storm-shadow and Firefly
free the Cobra commander, a delightful prison break se
quence. Post that, the best part of this movie comes – all thanks to silent commando Snake Eyes. Post intermission, we see a brilliantly done mountain fight/stunts and NINJA work by Snake Eyes (the best part in the whole movie).
The three Joes unite and plan to take revenge from the
guy who tried to eliminate them – Zartan/Cobra Commander. And enters the
General (Bruce Willis) for help. Also the Cobra Commander wants to bomb
everything and in an absurd roundtable conference, all big nuke nations (India
featured prominently) fire, abort nukes. Climax is about blasts, more blasts
and something which is done in a hurried fashion. Disappointing.
Characters –
Roadblock –
played by if-you-smell-what-the-Rock-is-cooking – he is one person who saves
this movie from a catastrophe. His biceps, weaponry, style of firing guns,
aggressive, all impresses you immensely.
Lady Jaye – played
by Adrianne Palicki – sexy and the only glamour quotient of the movie.
Snake Eyes –
played by Pay Park – the hero of the movie. Ninja man literally sprints on mountain
slopes. Nice.
General – played
by Bruce Willis – man! What a disappointment. Featured hardly for 5 mins, but
impresses in that too.
Firefly – most
disappointing (especially his Make-Up)
Cobra Commander
– voice worked like a villain. Satisfactory.
Storm Shadow –
played by Lee Byung-hun – was just too senti for me. The Cobra’s Ninjaman is
generally ruthless, aggressive and stubborn. This movie portrays him in the opposite
manner.
Weaponry in The
most admiring aspect of Joe’s entertainment. You won’t be disappointed here.
From stylish guns, heavy machine guns to light tanks, sniper rifles – man they
are really deadly.
But artefacts DO NOT make a good movie. Director, editor
and story-writer have done a pathetic work. I wish the G.I.Joe franchise gets a
better director. The Joe franchise is potent multi-billion fetching series
(like Star Wars, Transformers), sadly no one seems to get it right!
What works – weaponry,
Snake Eyes, bombing sequences (especially the UK bombing), ninjawork@mountain slope,
action
What not –
plot, editing, some characters (like Flint, Firefly), attachment to the Joe
franchise, you never feel tense, there are very less WoW mood.
SPEAKing PICtures’s verdict –
the movie limits itself to a number of action set pieces without any good
storyline. Watch it on TV, PCs but remain a fan of G.I.Joe franchise.
Hopefully, future ones will be much better.
ps: the trailer offered so much. I sincerely hope
Hollywood isn’t going the Bollywood way for making fantastic 2 min trailers and
bad 2 hour movies!
