The Indian traveller is back and this time he went to
Alwar. Now! even in the wildest dreams, Alwar (a small city in Rajasthan) cannot
be judged as a tourist destination. But then, how can (dare) you predict that.
India is diverse and you can’t predict what diversity would look like. Before I
start Alwar’s description, I must thank my college peers – Bansal sahab, Emraan #me, Analyst Ganga, Sadolia, Chamak Challo, Sankat,
Shubohit, Chota Bheem and a-Viral.
Thanks to them and Alwar’s beauty, this short trip was indeed a unique
adventure (read here for more trips - Goa, Manali, Roorkee, Lucknow, etc).
Alwar is a small town in Rajasthan which has buildings
having a maximum of two floors. Big houses and ample parking sample, Alwar is
adjusted on the sides of a 4-5 km stretch with Aravalis as backdrop. The flat
city is very peaceful and the commuter avg speed is around 30 kmph. A light
(pronounced as ‘lyyyteee’) city.
Yawwwwnnnnm…..
So, the college trip was a regular one - full of twists
and unplanned nuisance with a lot of happy and not-so-happy surprises. Courtesy
of that, you are reading this blog. Here it goes –
We 9 (yours truly, Emraan #me, Analyst Ganga, Sadolia,
Chamak Challo, Sankat, Shubohit, Chota Bheem and a-Viral) loaded ourselves in
two cars. Car 1 ran on Diesel (powered by Chota Bheem, Navigator – Analyst
Ganga, backbenchers – Sankat, Sadolia, Emraan #me). Car 1 candidates were
chosen with utmost care as all of them are freshers and haven’t seen much life.
Car 2 ran on much expensive fuel ‘Petrol’ and the man who rolled the steering
was a-Viral with navigator Shubohit and backbenchers - I and Chamak Challo, who
also insisted to take his pet Black Dog. We started obviously NOT on time and
then thanks to Analyst Ganga, Car 1 missed all crucial turns and deviated like
a mad buffalo on Delhi roads. He was so0O much excited about Rajasthan that
when he was instructed ‘don’t turn left’, he turned left. Experts say this is
an acute symptom of Loveria. His disease also affected Chota Bheem and Sankat.
Bheem lost his mental balance, missed U turns, took roads of high traffic
density as if he was literally Bheem. Meanwhile, Sankat became an ATV machine
(ATV – any time vomit). Car 2 driver was smart to divert his car towards DPS RK
Puram to buy medicines for puke and C-doms to avert the ‘aane-wale Sankat(s)’. Obviously,
the DPS DNA in him knew a lot about such scenarios.
All was fine untill we got a phone call somewhere near the Gurgaon border. Call
was from Analyst Ganga. He unapologetically told me that they have left Sadolia
on National Highway for us and instructed to upload him into Car 2. So what was
the reason for downloading Sadolia from Car 1? Initial statements from the
Analyst were quite absurd. For eg – he got down in front of a MNC, which is due
to come for jobs, to piss in front of their office. Obviously, his superficial
NULL hypothesis## was rejected and the real reason came from Emraan #me. Our insane
Sadolia got down @ Gurgoan to eat roadside Puri(s). I know it sounds like an
unbelievable thing, but ya its true. Legendary men have strange interests (the
least I can say). A-Viral picked him up into his car. Later post Manesar,
Sadolia was handed over to Car 1 in the custody of Chota Bheem. Sankat too took
a break from his puking iterations. Engines zoomed again.
Indian highways are sometimes not a spectacular place.
Especially when small cars kiss trucks, bike are thrown in farms by overtaking
trucks, tree-banging incidents, divider cutting tin boxes, etc. We too were a
part of this but managed to overcome the hurdles (thanks to our fantastic MBA
education). Crisis management and effective business communication were never
put to test with such effectiveness and practicality before this.
“Bas phir kya tha, main chal pada
Un rasto par, jo jaate the unke ghar
Vo rastey tere aur mere humsafar”
Darugheda, Bhiwadi, Galipur, Tartarpur – all went by and
we moved across. Slowly half-constructed skeletons turned to yellow-flowered
farms. The green became greener as city pollution decreased and mountains
(Aravallies) started to emerge. Speed rose, air became chilly and the desert
Sun started to fade. Car 2 and Car 1 were heading together with a-Viral and
Chota Bheem showcasing an awesome chemistry while driving each other to
pleasure.
Post a hectic ride, we entered Alwar. Analyst Ganga was
guiding us through some technology (through his aath hazaar ka Samsung). Not surprising our first,
second and third attempt all went to dead ends. A-Viral was smart enough to
pull off a brilliant comeback and we were again on right track. Finally we
landed at the right place, just before our host friend - Bansal sahab dance
performance.
Dinner was shaadi-wala types and students like us love it
(for more – please watch 3-idiots). Rain did try its luck to stop food from
going into our bellies but then we have survived MBA life. And if you have
survived that, you can do just anything…anything. However, life is NOT
justified for some, especially if they are drivers of cars who drive all day to
know that they will be returning in another 3-4 hours. Chota Bheem had to
depart due to some unavoidable circumstances. Another couple meanwhile were
coping with the task of essay writing (topic – “how do you spend your night?”).
I tell you these are legendary recruiting questions. Two people involved were also
legendary: a-Viral and Sankat. A-Viral was as usual confused what to do and
Sankat was assisting him by asking him what to do. But then these are smart
managers. They outsourced their problems back to our campus friends who pain-fully
took Zephyr’s help in documenting this late night question. Besides these small-small
issues, post dinner was another ecosystem. Ek
alag hi mahaul tha. Chamak Challo with his Black Dog generated some black
magic which brought out the unconscious behaviour of some souls. Analyst Ganga
reached that cult state of trance. In short, love was not just love, it was
sex.
This Night was a bakar full night which also saw Bansal
sahab coming all the way at 4 AM to greet us. A special mention needs to be
given to Bansal sahab’s bakar cousin, who created the hostel-like environment
in a shaadi-wala ghar. “ Yahi hai Rasjasthani maizbaani – in Sadolia words”.
Lastly, all good things come to an end. Aane
wala ko jaana hi padhta hai (People who come, have to depart someday). Some
depart just too early. With hand on heart, we all said adieu to Chota Bheem and
wished him lady-luck for his return voyage to Delhi ALONE is his Car 1. Bheem
even with this awesome late-night alone adventure sounding roadtrip was as
usual emotionless. Car 1 was dearly missed.
Next morning we had to encounter the common Indian
problem. High population and low count of restrooms. But then, we are MBAs. We
handled this too. I congratulate all except Chamak Challo who took 30 minutes
to entertain himself in the geyser-wala
restroom doing some strange shit. I guess his cross-border trunk calls were
just to0O long.
The real entertainment starts now. Morning morning,
pleasant morning. All through the night, we discussed what to do-doing all sort
of analysis, etc. Sariska, the famous tiger sanctuary which reported a tiger
count of zero was the plan initially, but safari timings were all odd.
Sariska is around
40 km from main Alwar city and will take around 40 mins to reach. Sariska
safari timing – 6:30 AM to 10 AM and 2:30 PM to 5 PM.
So, we headed to
Bala Quilla (which is a fort on top of
overseeing Aravallis which circumscribe Alwar). Then
to baat hi lag thi. With one Car and 1 Bike, we adjusted ourselves.
Car 2 (driver – a-Viral, navigator – Shuboit, backbenchers – me, Chamak Challo,
Emran #me). And our stud bikers were Analyst Ganga and Sankat (pillion). Insane
and meany Sadolia too left us for the day as he went to Café Chocolade (his
taste-buds belong to a different civilization). The way to Bala Quilla starts
from just outside the population of Alwar. Keeping in mind our past travelling experiences
untill now, the car and bike had to maintain a lot of coordination which
Analyst Ganga obviously did not follow. Consequently, he and Sankat went ahead into
the jungle like a valentine Ranbhir-Deepika couple with no disturbance from
telecom sector. Meanwhile, Car
walo ki
phatti padi thi. India does NOT allow gay marriages and a-Viral (who
incidentally was Analyst Ganga’s ex-sleeping partner) was quite rightly contemplating
about the bike couple intensions. Chamak Challo, who comes after a 2 yr stint
in telecom sector, guided us to give the biker couple a missed call. That
reminded them to have a look behind. Analyst Ganga did his spot analysis and
quite rightly drew the managerial implication of being lost in the Rajasthani jungle.
Jaane wala bhi ek din aata hai, to ye
kiss khet ki mooli hai (One who goes come back, then whose farms does these
radishes’ belong to!).
Jo Ganga ki maari
hai uske baad Shubohit ne [Oho class]. Ganga got his due treatment. Sankat
specified that no harm was caused to him and that he was still untouched (pure
virgin). Then we entered the right route to Bala Quilla with a No Entry
message. Road in India are really bad but they seldom stop you to move ahead in
life. This wasn’t the case here. The forest rangers informed us that the road
to fort is really bad and that we cannot move ahead. But he also gave us the
short cut. That was a 2 km trek through a museum and the city court (see picture). Car &
Bike show moved ahead.
We parked our vehicles in the city court parking and
went on with the intention to trek to Bala Quilla. The city court resides in a
traditional Rajasthani yellow-coloured building which itself look like a
tourist destination. Some clicks, we moved on the building higher floors which
accommodated museum (see pic). With an entry ticket of Rs 10, we went on to see what you
can easily call bullshit. Seriously, how will you react when there is an
ancient soap tag written besides a lifebuoy soap. What a waste of time, space
and money [MBA skills everywhere]. Over this museum experience, the police
guard informed us that the trek is Not allowed and all you need is a DCP
(Deputy Commandant of Police) approval to take that previous road. So we headed
towards the police control room. But wait, why hurry. While the Car moved, the
bike stalled. Initial investigation hinted that Analyst Ganga and Sankat went
just to0O far in the morning run and might be low on fuel. Chamak Challo tried.
I tried but Shubohit was the man who finally identified the missing part.
Someone took away the power plug. The famous Indian juggad was applied and
somehow Analyst Ganga managed to set the ignition apparatus right [Later he
shared an interesting fact which could have led to this state of bike. He
parked his bike in city court’s car parking; the parking guy also complained
later about his space loss for approx. 2 cars. Phew! Analyst Ganga just
increased the fiscal deficit.
Kuch nahi
kar sakte uska]. We then moved into Alwar Police control room to take
permission for Bala Quilla and were later told by oldie policemen that the ASI
people are redoing the monument and
kuch
nahi ho sakta (
is desh ka aur ghade-ki-pooch-se-likhi-gayi
kismet ka).
We then decided to test our luck on any random bet. There
was a lake whose name popped up a couple of times, but we never considered it
seriously. Obviously, bright MBA minds are less likely to visit a lake in a
state of deserts. But still, we went on and on and on and missed the cut to lake
and moved on and on. It was then Analyst Ganga overtook us and told us that he
saw the board to the lake but deliberately chose to ignore it. The biker couple
knows best. Readers can speculate.
We finally were on right track. A-Viral, our driver was becoming
too irritated with Alwar and honestly, expectations from lake were close to 0.
Everybody imagined some water in their heads as lake and had zero happiness for
it. We were all driving our curiosity [“we should see atleast something in this
stupid city to justify our ROI”].
Slowly the route became greener and
structures (Aquaduct) started appearing [see Aquaduct in pic]. Our mentally exhausted driver, a-Viral
went mad over these structures. Our navigator Shubohit was briefly in a fix
what to do with him! Everytime 5 mins, a-Viral use to shout “Aquaduct! Oye hue
awesome”. Terms which could have saved for a female were used on lifeless
British era dead structures (sexy). God! Save him and his car.
Life was becoming irritating when we saw this awesome
place called “Silised lake” [pronounce as “Silly Said”].
It’s gigantic and one of the biggest lake I have seen
till date. The best part – it’s still pristine nature. Turquoise blue water
(soo much water) with mountains as backdrop. It’s actually unbelievable types
feel when you consider comments saying “in Rasjasthan??”. With tourist count of
less than 10, it’s a clean place. It’s a place you can’t stop watching into. It
like a naked lady, you just can’t take eyes away from her. Nature at its best. There
are provisions for boating but due to very less tourist traffic operating cost
may not be feasible. There is a passage on the other side from you can sneak
inside the mountain and then go down to lake (that side host the bigger version
of lake which is a bit less visually appealing than the other side).
Yaar aur kitna likhu! Some places demand
your presence. Go try and you won’t be disappointed. While coming back, we
found another viewpoint of the lake. From every side, she is worth it. Return
journey was from a different path. How that was identified, dunno! A-Viral
asked a biker couple while on the go for the directions. Male and Female are
opposite gender and similar were their directions (later, when we started
laughing at this, the poor Male soul was seen being scolded n all…). Anyways,
we followed the route suggested by the Male and guess what! we entered through
the famous Alwar hill from which Hollywood got inspired (or visa versa).
Big guns went to sleep as soon as they saw bed. Evening
time and still shamelessly sleeping. Sadolia who joined us post lunch took the
unwanted task to wake us up. Bansal sahab tried a lot over phone but MBA
students are really sleepy bastards. We somehow are good at crisis management,
consequently we reached the party zone with our old pet Black Dog and….enjoyed,
danced, bakar, bakar, bakar…Analyst Ganga with Sadolia tried had to impress
girls but ghade chahe kitne bhi achi
tarha se saj le, ghode nahi ban sakte (no matter how well dresses asses
are, they won’t be horses) Still they tried. Party came to end and we returned
to our cold dens. Man! Rajasthan is cold at night, really cold, shivering cold,
and when winds are blowing, then to alag
hi level pe feel aati hai.
Inside the room, Sairska plan was dropped. Inspite of my
motivating them, the gang needed sleep (sad/disappointment). Bakar sessions
went on and slowly people started to fade. I was the first one with Sankat
falling next. Morning, three left via train (Analyst Ganga, Sadolia and
Sankat). Another fact, Alwar petrol pumps are notorious when it comes to
air-refilling facilities. We found this roadside labourer who had this juggadu machine
and first tyre he attempted was a puncture. Good it happened! Else somehow it
would have been difficult for me to finish.
Awesome journey. Thanks especially to Bansal sahab.
Lady Jaye – played
by Adrianne Palicki – sexy and the only glamour quotient of the movie.
