The Kashmir Files: Provocative, Chilling and Underdog’s Perseverance

काई दिनो बाद हमने कुछ लिखा है
काई दिनो बाद कुछ देखा है

Lost in time, just like this review blog is the story of Kashmiri pandits in "The Kashmir Files". I guess movies which can provide a reel & real video-taped connection like Neerja (Neerja Bhanot A.C. posthumous) or web series Rangbaaz (shot on real life gangsters Shri Prakash Shukla and Anandpal Singh), where audience can go back and google what they saw in movie, has a certain higher retentivity and an appreciation value because they tell you something of this nature happened. And this is why, coming here for The Kashmir Files.

The Kashmir Files _ House Full

I picked up the typewriter as a token of gratitude – this movie has raw courage, content that needs to be told and story of underdog. 

SPEAKing PICtures verdict - 4/5 

What you see?   

Set in the dark era of late 80s-early 90s of Kashmir, story is about genocide of Kashmiri pandits. Instead of a documentary type narration, story oscillates between a current dialogue of liberation (legalized under freedon of speech) and flashbacks of 90s terrorism. While today's son (current student of JNU and running for its prestigious post of President like Kanhaiya Kumar) is feeding on liberal thoughts under Aazadi naarebaazi , his alter ego is discovered in Kashmir when he goes back to perform last rights of his granddad to know what happened to his family in Kashmir via Kashmir Files. In flashbacks, you will see point blank gunshots , barbaric slaughtering , helplessness and genocide/exodus. In current set up, you will see JNU (and masala it feeds on)!  

Whom to see? 

There is a laundry list of actors who will give you safe likable viewing experiences. Special mention to catch attention:

1. Anupam Kher – his old age persona is moving to watch as Pushkar Nath Pandit. Effort put in by him is wow and screen shouts at you when he is on it. You will be in awe while watching some of his screen time.

2. Chinmay Mandlekar –
Bro killed it as JKLF terrorist Farooq Malik Bitta. Every single time he is on screen, he gives you that i-don’t-like-this guy feel. Recall old days of Bollywood when characters (only aided by facial aura) could create the terror. He is able to do that. Brillant!

3. F.R.I.E.N.D.S of Anupam Kher – the bunch already had enough talent to pull a consuming watch time and this was always expected with the likes of Mithun Chakraborty, Prakash Belawadi, Puneet Issar

4. Darshan Kumar as Krishna Pandit– somehow his dialogue delivery wasn’t moving  

5. Atul Srivastava – journalist. Just compare voice (trailer) vs (real interview below) . Apes it really well! Reminded me of Matt Damon interview skills in Inside Job

6. Bhasha Sumbli as Sharda Pandit enacts some most disturbing scenes.

 

Why you will like "The Kashmir Files"?

1. Director has very smartly clubbed videotapes of various anti national voices and stitched them together into characters & sequences. And he did this very seamlessly. Like character of Farooq Malik Bitta is a combo of JKLF terrorists Yasin Malik and Bitta Karate.   

2. Kashmir – bas naam hi kaafi hai

3. Performances by actors

4. You will stay with the movie (yes it is provocative and polarizing) and will move you out of theatre with numbness  

 

What will you not like "The Kashmir Files"?

1. There is no mention of Pakistan which was supporting them (weaponary, etc)

2. Comment on security infrastructure like intelligence , security agencies

3. What happened when immediately after 19^th Jan when Governor Jagmohan was appointed? You will have to Google this…  

4. Songs – some native Kashmiri or Dogri songs which could be remembered like Mission Kashmir’s rind posh maal , etc (especially when makers have lifted a lot of flashbacks from past video tapes)

5. Storywriting isn’t gripping but only felt in parts due power of content and topic of subject. Also, creative liberty is taken too far to solidify content (but it is then NOT based on reality and which is not called out either and general public won't google to verify) 

 

If Kashmiri Pandits are victims, Who are the underdogs?

Underdogs here are makers of the movie : Vivek Agnihotri , Pallavi Joshi (now offered Y category security cover). It takes guts to make something like this, make it raw, open with just 200 allocated screens on Day 0, fight blanket ban in countries with high denomination of Indian diaspora like UAE, Singapore and Qatar , labeled by posh critics as non-reviewable material (I am still not able to digest why will Film Companion not review this - either good or bad but when a movie crosses 100 Cr mark, boycotting isn't professional).

Made on a budget of Rs 60 Cr, collective premium is now Rs 300 Cr + and nations which banned the movie are compelled to release with no cuts. Power can suppress your worldly boundaries but not your perseverance. More power to you…

 

PS: When Jamia Millia Islamia was a central university (passed by an act of Parliament) , I can seldom recall pandits via Kashmiri quota in engineering being a passout/ranker from computer engg, F/O Engg & Tech (JMI)  

I end "The Kashmir Files" review with a fact that my real brother went to Kashmir for his honeymoon…such is the beauty! Admirable (sorry but my laziness is preventing you to view gorgeous landscape pics here 😴, go visit in person )  

The Annual Bureaucrats Roundtable before 2019 Indian Elections

Looking for work creates opportunity. And this is how I became a chowkidar with additional charge of chai supply. Proud to tell you that I was recently appointed as head chowkidar at a discussion between different padhe-likhe (highly educated) secretaries just before election summer of 2019.Visual setting was directly copied from 12 Angry Men, Ek Ruka Hua Faisla or The Tashkent Files set up

[Chair]: So gentlemen, how is the josh?

[Chorus mein sab]: High boss…

[Chair]: So what have we achieved?

[Indian history secretary]: sir, India saw a non-congress majority NDA government which is a key milestone in the glorious journey of our nation. History will remember this chowkidari BJP government headed by aM (self-personified-glorified-fantasied acronym) as someone who took monumental decisions, made huge media spending and made this century’s best marketing slogans…

Pause in the room

[Time-pass babu]: is baat pe chai naashta lagwao sir… samose garam garam patanjali wale

[Chair]: ok…berozgar chowkidar … bring whatever is the their wish!  

ME: chai kaun si sir?

[Chair]: Progressive brand

So guys, are we meeting 2014 targets as committed in BJP manifesto except Ram Mandir (as matter is sub-judice)?

[Employment secretary]: YES sir. Security sector is booming with self-employed over-confident Cs (chowkidars). Not just bottom of pyramid, security sector has also created billionaires thanks to purchase of Rafale. And virtual world is also employing in high numbers. All media talks about its growth under the aM leadership. And what I know, even they are short of security experts due to un-con-trollable security buzz.  

[Chair]: Par data kya bolta hai?  

[Employment secretary]: Data is WIP sir. Since there are so many of these chowkidars in the market now, vlookup is taking time.

[Chair]: Ok. What about manufacturing?

[Trade secretary]: Under the leadership of aM , our lath (hard long stick which gives pain when received with a force) industry is growing out of bounds. Lath units under (self-empowerment > elected govt power yojna) of BJP govt are flourishing everywhere. And these are being exported as well.

[Chair]: How come?

[Travel secretary]: Sir aM has travelled extensively across globe. Originally that was done to find solution to travelling salesman problem but as a by-product has established the lath as must have product in arsenal category, not just in western world but also in remote parts of CIS region. From US to Mongolia, Indians are in demand for their unmatched chowkidari skills. And wherever we have these Cs, laths are in demand. aM is a growth hacker sir.   

[Scientist babu]: I think after Steve Jobs, aM is the guy to look out for in innovation and go to market strategies. A true entrepreneur. He is a magician ; I think he can turn corn into unicorn sir.

ME: should I bring chai sir?

[Chair]: Meeting is going good. Replace chai with coffee.

ME: coffee kaun si brand ki sir?

[Chair]: True leader brand

But, are our neighbours happy?

[Foreign secretary]: Yes sir, except P. That was excepted after our surgical strikes which only aM could have highlighted and advertised.

[Chair]: What about China?

[Foreign secretary]: Oh they are very happy sir. More than 50% of smartphone market is occupied by Chinese. As we speak, Indian content is watched more and more on Chinese made TVs. They have even allowed Indians to visit Arunachal Pradesh peacefully while drowning money in P (with CPEC highway) and in Sri Lanka (port infra). Foolishly they are now also contemplating to invest in second genx of JF Thunder fighter jet… I don’t understand who gives them these bad ideas…  

[Chair]: And western world?

[Foreign secretary]: They love India especially its low cost labour. Walmart and Amazon are heavily invested in India and are super aggressive to disrupt retail and leftist trade unions.

[Chair]: But what should we assess about equation of power in Indian subcontinent after dogfight?

[Defence secretary]: We have yet again shown the world that Mig21-Bis can drown F16. Whole world assess us as strong powerful military nation. All because of chowkidar sir. Indians finally move from snake charmer perception & slumdog millionaire genre to be famous for its chowkidari efficiency.  

[Chair]: But how do we defend Rafale especially after all hype in procurement?

[Procurement secretary]: That’s a tactical thing – we need them especially after IAF lost 6 planes in 2019. Illiterate opposition does even know Shreemad Bhagwat Geeta learnings that any phal (fruit) takes time. And Raphal is also a fruit of karm (hardwork done by French group and smart dedicated expert team of Ambanis).

ME: should I bring coffee sir?

[Chair]: Meeting is going good. Replace coffee with French wine.

ME: wine kaun si brand ki sir?

[Chair]: Foolish you are to my amazement. Obviously Dassault, Rafale manufacturers before Ambanis. We must have a free lot of wine samples, just like, Tony Stark gave away complimentary bar of bottles after weapons deal (before he became Ironman)!

Let us come to hard numbers. Money! I want to know impact of Aadhar, GST and Demonetization.

[Finance secretary]: Lots of work has happened sir.

(a) People have become more fit after standing in Sun during demonetization thus increasing long term demographic dividend of India and raising India’s credit rating in the eyes of IMF. We now can get easy loans for longer durations for our basic needs like bullet trains & hyperloops.

(b) For the first time in Independdent India, creativity and currency have been merged in a cohesive unit to bring colour in lives of masses. Happiness is believed to have arrive in everyone’s life, even colour blind.

(c) GST has increased vision of small scale traders and now everyone wants to be Ambani. Only aM could have pulled the dreams and up the ante from miniscule daily goals to long term fancy desires. aM is a borne-leader after borne-ultimatum.

(d) Aadhar has provided KYC to fasten up (voluntarily) and we have seen a surge in new bank accounts openings in which we can put as high as 15 lakhs once we get back from Nirav Modi and Vijay Mallaya

[Chair]: I can sense that all humanity is happy. All credits to aM , the superhuman. I hope he must have extended wellness to animals as well?

[Animal planet secretary]: Totally mooh sir. Cows are treated at par with foreign ambassadors and just like we have dedicated inter-ministry committee to address them, we have a dedicated ministry to cows.

[Chair]: Chowkidar replace wine with chachh or lassi. I think India is on its way to become a superpower…

Me: But sssrrr

We don’t have clean water to prepare these?

[Chair]: Why? Why these small things can’t be taken off? Where is the waterman?

[Paani paani secretary]: Sir, actually namami gange project is producing too pure water to consume. Coupled with pure air in Delhi, water is not fit of human consumption. Delhi police under home ministry has also issued advisory. And only consent of Lieutenant Governor can give deviation.

[Chair]: Who will monitor this now?

Silence…..

Me: May I sir,

Besides, this election is not about chai or any consumable drink or roti(food)/kapda(wearable dignity)/makaan(social security)/dukaan ya rozgaar (employment), but chowkidari [MONITORING THE STATUS QUO]

Under aM leadership, only thing is common for us between 2014 and 2019 is C [in capital bold letters]

India voted best country in Universe

In an extended Lok sabha session , a vote was held to determine the best country in universe. In an almost unanimous decision, India was voted as best. Score of 100 percent majority was missed by three in Lok Sabha (323 members voted in support of bill and only three voted against it). Even though India was the only option only the ballot, Delhi chief minister Mr. Kejri-wah asked a review of EVM when votes were counted by classroom dictate of raising hands. He shall be protesting about same outside Jantar Mantar from tomorrow. Center of environmental studies has welcomed this gesture as there will lesser cars on roads and Delhi air will be breathable once again for flying birds at Stratosphere level.

BJP bandwagon congratulated PMModi for this turnaround of rankings for India. BJP spokeperson Mr, Shahnawaz commented “India is now most suited place to do business as indigenous organizations like HAL are going cashless”. To highlight this achievement of government, PMModi has launched a new outreach programme targeting wealthy NRIs, headed by Shri Vijay Mallaya. Mr. Mallaya will carry additional responsibility towards promotion of concept “black-is-the-new-white” from his headquarters at London. Congress chief Mr. Rahul Gandhi is against this outsourcing to Mr. Mallaya .

In the interest of democracy, PMModi has just announced that this assignment will go to Mr. Double A Ambani . Cost of the project is now 4 times. PMModi will carry out a special mann-ki-baat where he will tell his travel plan to spread this message of “black-is-the-new-white” in 194 nations of UN . Jet Airlines sees hope of survival, yet again.   

India’s music scene has also helped in getting status of numero uno. Hit single “Modi Modi” sung by BJP spokespersons is number 1 on India’s number 1 news channel(s) number 1 slot debate anchored by best of India number 1 billionaires. Whatsapp has also acknowledged efforts of BJP media cell’s hard work in forwarding to groups through Jio network. To celebrate this, Mr. Anuragg Thakur will rap the song in a hoodie made by Namo merchandise along with trailer of The Gully Boy, continuing the rich legacy of smart political marketing.

Beyond humans, Animal planet has also applauded India for its sensitivity, diversity and secular fabric. In a research done by them in the state of Uttar Pradesh, average traffic jams has reduced by 8 times after cows are eligible to play in school grounds. Seeing this brotherhood, Netflix has announced a Mowgli competition. Research also mentioned that no human was harmed in protecting cows.

India was also declared to be world’s safest country to do sex & follow Lord Kama preaching after passing section 377. BJP bandwagon congratulated PMModi and CMYogi for this turnaround of rankings for India. Mr. Gandhi shared a hug emoji to PMModi along with a rainbow petal Lotus. All the newspapers reported that the whole nation is happy. It is truly happiness unlimited as nobody cares about maintaining minimum balance in bank since amount of INR 15 lakhs is to be credited before getting inked for 2019 elections. Paytm has also declared cashback of 5% for Aadhar card holders. With sheer happiness and prosperity all around, general public has gained tolerance, even towards job losses.

The Economist and BBC analysts believe that India may be voted best due its GDP numbers which were calculated basis a new formulae coming from IIT Bhubaneswar. BJP spokesperson commented that this was only possible after PM Modi inaugurated the new campus and one even went on to say that new Indian GDP formulae can solve Fermat’s Last Theorem along with all unsolved problems in Maths .      

The session ended with the government condemning Congress for doing nothing for 60 years, Pakistan for its support to terrorists, Navjot Singh Sidhu for its support to Pakistan, Apple for insane Iphone prices and Trump for his reading habits and his lack of vision to outsource labour to hard working Indian cattle class for his Mexican Wall.

Voting will now proceed to Raj Sabha after dinner is taken by whomsoever is present. Supreme Court comments are awaited as they are the only sane bodies who think before passing judgements in today’s best voted India.  

Best day for learning for Indian contingent at Rio Olympics 2016

It will be 8th August 2016 

Last 24 hours in Indian non-cricket sports (people outside call that Olympics) were best if you see scope of learning from them. Technically, we can learn so many things - like faster release in archery, controlling the pace in last 5 mins in Hockey (Indian Hockey Team have lost 10 matches inside last 10 minutes in last editions of Olympics), etc. And professionally, we certainly lack poise, much needed in key pressure moments. So, what happened on 8th August 2016 in Rio. 

1 point in last set for Indian archery team could have taken them to S/Fs, 

3 seconds less would have put us in comfort for Hockey Q/Fs, and 

a few decimal points in shoot-off could have ended a career of only-individual Olympic Gold holder for India, with a worthy farewell 

And the learning is not just for athletes but also for viewers like me. Which is too accept defeat and loss even if you have given your best. Watch the awesome grace in accepting fate and lets-move-on moments by Abhinav Bindra. History is being made in this video - as he becomes one of few Indians to come fourth after PT Usha (who missed Bronze by 1/100th of second).     

You don't have to justify yourself. You did your attempt, you tried honestly, you fought, you lost. Accept the fate with Chin up. Cheers

ps: In other news, tweeter Shobha De won a Gold in fiercely competitive lets-cash-on-here held in Tweeting Area (@DeShobhaa). It is expected she will wear that medal in all her page three parties and also showcase the medal while performing Produnova . She will be the eight athlete to do so after Dipa Karmakar. Munnabhai has already sent her roses... 

Movie Review: Kabali, or say like the God himself says "Kabaaali Hai Ye"

Disclaimer: I have no clue of Tamil cinema but I love Kamal Hasan, AR, Dhanush and Rajini anna. My respect for regional cinema has significantly increased post my stay with Tamilian roommate during my Bangalore stint. And hence I have guts to see FDFS of superstar’s Kabali. 

Kabali review follows -

                 

Story –

Cliché right! Don (Rajini anna) is a mercy lord for Tamilians in Malaysia. He goes to jail for a quarter of century. Comes back , finds wife (played by Radhika Apte) is dead and now he pledges revenge. Story here is an adapted chapter from story-writing curriculum of a film school. They should not play the writers. Also, the pace is often broken by disjoint set pieces and songs.

Actors & Gods –

Radhika Apte and rest of the lot acted in a satisfactory manner. Viewers who follow Bollywood or Hollywood will find Southern acting style a bit over-dramatic but that’s fine if it adds to entertainment. 

The movie is saved by God – Rajini anna. Actually the bias to see him is so heavy that you just cannot Not Think of him. It is like eyes have a mandate to follow him. Dialogue delivery and style is unmatched. Killer stuff. Ekdum kolaveri di

What works – the hype around the God, the Superstar, the Kabali – his grey beard and black side parting hair styles, everything. And the way he say “Kabaaali”

What not – Hindi dubbing, cliché story, it looks like a revenge drama and not a revenge thriller, pace could have been better

SPEAKing PICtures’s verdict – movie is less of meaning, more of style. Less of a movie, more of an occasion. Enjoy it. 3.5/5

ps: I was away for writing for more than 3 years. I am at my personal low. So, I thought to take some inspiration from an ex bus conductor to one of the God of Indian cinema. I saw a line which compelled me to return – he was once a bus conductor selling tickets, now people die for his tickets. Rajini anna, you give me hope and inspiration. Thank You.