SPEAKING PICTURES : February 2013

The Indian traveller is back and this time he went to Alwar. Now! even in the wildest dreams, Alwar (a small city in Rajasthan) cannot be judged as a tourist destination. But then, how can (dare) you predict that. India is diverse and you can’t predict what diversity would look like. Before I start Alwar’s description, I must thank my college peers – Bansal sahab, Emraan #me, Analyst Ganga, Sadolia, Chamak Challo, Sankat, Shubohit, Chota Bheem and a-Viral. Thanks to them and Alwar’s beauty, this short trip was indeed a unique adventure (read here for more trips - Goa, Manali, Roorkee, Lucknow, etc).

Alwar is a small town in Rajasthan which has buildings having a maximum of two floors. Big houses and ample parking sample, Alwar is adjusted on the sides of a 4-5 km stretch with Aravalis as backdrop. The flat city is very peaceful and the commuter avg speed is around 30 kmph. A light (pronounced as ‘lyyyteee’) city.

Yawwwwnnnnm…..

So, the college trip was a regular one - full of twists and unplanned nuisance with a lot of happy and not-so-happy surprises. Courtesy of that, you are reading this blog. Here it goes –

We 9 (yours truly, Emraan #me, Analyst Ganga, Sadolia, Chamak Challo, Sankat, Shubohit, Chota Bheem and a-Viral) loaded ourselves in two cars. Car 1 ran on Diesel (powered by Chota Bheem, Navigator – Analyst Ganga, backbenchers – Sankat, Sadolia, Emraan #me). Car 1 candidates were chosen with utmost care as all of them are freshers and haven’t seen much life. Car 2 ran on much expensive fuel ‘Petrol’ and the man who rolled the steering was a-Viral with navigator Shubohit and backbenchers - I and Chamak Challo, who also insisted to take his pet Black Dog. We started obviously NOT on time and then thanks to Analyst Ganga, Car 1 missed all crucial turns and deviated like a mad buffalo on Delhi roads. He was so0O much excited about Rajasthan that when he was instructed ‘don’t turn left’, he turned left. Experts say this is an acute symptom of Loveria. His disease also affected Chota Bheem and Sankat. Bheem lost his mental balance, missed U turns, took roads of high traffic density as if he was literally Bheem. Meanwhile, Sankat became an ATV machine (ATV – any time vomit). Car 2 driver was smart to divert his car towards DPS RK Puram to buy medicines for puke and C-doms to avert the ‘aane-wale Sankat(s)’. Obviously, the DPS DNA in him knew a lot about such scenarios.

All was fine untill we got a phone call somewhere near the Gurgaon border. Call was from Analyst Ganga. He unapologetically told me that they have left Sadolia on National Highway for us and instructed to upload him into Car 2. So what was the reason for downloading Sadolia from Car 1? Initial statements from the Analyst were quite absurd. For eg – he got down in front of a MNC, which is due to come for jobs, to piss in front of their office. Obviously, his superficial NULL hypothesis## was rejected and the real reason came from Emraan #me. Our insane Sadolia got down @ Gurgoan to eat roadside Puri(s). I know it sounds like an unbelievable thing, but ya its true. Legendary men have strange interests (the least I can say). A-Viral picked him up into his car. Later post Manesar, Sadolia was handed over to Car 1 in the custody of Chota Bheem. Sankat too took a break from his puking iterations. Engines zoomed again.

Indian highways are sometimes not a spectacular place. Especially when small cars kiss trucks, bike are thrown in farms by overtaking trucks, tree-banging incidents, divider cutting tin boxes, etc. We too were a part of this but managed to overcome the hurdles (thanks to our fantastic MBA education). Crisis management and effective business communication were never put to test with such effectiveness and practicality before this.

“Bas phir kya tha, main chal pada

Un rasto par, jo jaate the unke ghar

Vo rastey tere aur mere humsafar”

Darugheda, Bhiwadi, Galipur, Tartarpur – all went by and we moved across. Slowly half-constructed skeletons turned to yellow-flowered farms. The green became greener as city pollution decreased and mountains (Aravallies) started to emerge. Speed rose, air became chilly and the desert Sun started to fade. Car 2 and Car 1 were heading together with a-Viral and Chota Bheem showcasing an awesome chemistry while driving each other to pleasure.

Post a hectic ride, we entered Alwar. Analyst Ganga was guiding us through some technology (through his aath hazaar ka Samsung). Not surprising our first, second and third attempt all went to dead ends. A-Viral was smart enough to pull off a brilliant comeback and we were again on right track. Finally we landed at the right place, just before our host friend - Bansal sahab dance performance.

Dinner was shaadi-wala types and students like us love it (for more – please watch 3-idiots). Rain did try its luck to stop food from going into our bellies but then we have survived MBA life. And if you have survived that, you can do just anything…anything. However, life is NOT justified for some, especially if they are drivers of cars who drive all day to know that they will be returning in another 3-4 hours. Chota Bheem had to depart due to some unavoidable circumstances. Another couple meanwhile were coping with the task of essay writing (topic – “how do you spend your night?”). I tell you these are legendary recruiting questions. Two people involved were also legendary: a-Viral and Sankat. A-Viral was as usual confused what to do and Sankat was assisting him by asking him what to do. But then these are smart managers. They outsourced their problems back to our campus friends who pain-fully took Zephyr’s help in documenting this late night question. Besides these small-small issues, post dinner was another ecosystem. Ek alag hi mahaul tha. Chamak Challo with his Black Dog generated some black magic which brought out the unconscious behaviour of some souls. Analyst Ganga reached that cult state of trance. In short, love was not just love, it was sex.

This Night was a bakar full night which also saw Bansal sahab coming all the way at 4 AM to greet us. A special mention needs to be given to Bansal sahab’s bakar cousin, who created the hostel-like environment in a shaadi-wala ghar. “ Yahi hai Rasjasthani maizbaani – in Sadolia words”. Lastly, all good things come to an end. Aane wala ko jaana hi padhta hai (People who come, have to depart someday). Some depart just too early. With hand on heart, we all said adieu to Chota Bheem and wished him lady-luck for his return voyage to Delhi ALONE is his Car 1. Bheem even with this awesome late-night alone adventure sounding roadtrip was as usual emotionless. Car 1 was dearly missed.

Next morning we had to encounter the common Indian problem. High population and low count of restrooms. But then, we are MBAs. We handled this too. I congratulate all except Chamak Challo who took 30 minutes to entertain himself in the geyser-wala restroom doing some strange shit. I guess his cross-border trunk calls were just to0O long.

The real entertainment starts now. Morning morning, pleasant morning. All through the night, we discussed what to do-doing all sort of analysis, etc. Sariska, the famous tiger sanctuary which reported a tiger count of zero was the plan initially, but safari timings were all odd.

Sariska is around 40 km from main Alwar city and will take around 40 mins to reach. Sariska safari timing – 6:30 AM to 10 AM and 2:30 PM to 5 PM.

So, we headed to Bala Quilla (which is a fort on top of overseeing Aravallis which circumscribe Alwar). Then to baat hi lag thi. With one Car and 1 Bike, we adjusted ourselves. Car 2 (driver – a-Viral, navigator – Shuboit, backbenchers – me, Chamak Challo, Emran #me). And our stud bikers were Analyst Ganga and Sankat (pillion). Insane and meany Sadolia too left us for the day as he went to Café Chocolade (his taste-buds belong to a different civilization). The way to Bala Quilla starts from just outside the population of Alwar. Keeping in mind our past travelling experiences untill now, the car and bike had to maintain a lot of coordination which Analyst Ganga obviously did not follow. Consequently, he and Sankat went ahead into the jungle like a valentine Ranbhir-Deepika couple with no disturbance from telecom sector. Meanwhile, Car walo ki phatti padi thi. India does NOT allow gay marriages and a-Viral (who incidentally was Analyst Ganga’s ex-sleeping partner) was quite rightly contemplating about the bike couple intensions. Chamak Challo, who comes after a 2 yr stint in telecom sector, guided us to give the biker couple a missed call. That reminded them to have a look behind. Analyst Ganga did his spot analysis and quite rightly drew the managerial implication of being lost in the Rajasthani jungle. Jaane wala bhi ek din aata hai, to ye kiss khet ki mooli hai (One who goes come back, then whose farms does these radishes’ belong to!). Jo Ganga ki maari hai uske baad Shubohit ne [Oho class]. Ganga got his due treatment. Sankat specified that no harm was caused to him and that he was still untouched (pure virgin). Then we entered the right route to Bala Quilla with a No Entry message. Road in India are really bad but they seldom stop you to move ahead in life. This wasn’t the case here. The forest rangers informed us that the road to fort is really bad and that we cannot move ahead. But he also gave us the short cut. That was a 2 km trek through a museum and the city court (see picture). Car & Bike show moved ahead.

We parked our vehicles in the city court parking and went on with the intention to trek to Bala Quilla. The city court resides in a traditional Rajasthani yellow-coloured building which itself look like a tourist destination. Some clicks, we moved on the building higher floors which accommodated museum (see pic). With an entry ticket of Rs 10, we went on to see what you can easily call bullshit. Seriously, how will you react when there is an ancient soap tag written besides a lifebuoy soap. What a waste of time, space and money [MBA skills everywhere]. Over this museum experience, the police guard informed us that the trek is Not allowed and all you need is a DCP (Deputy Commandant of Police) approval to take that previous road. So we headed towards the police control room. But wait, why hurry. While the Car moved, the bike stalled. Initial investigation hinted that Analyst Ganga and Sankat went just to0O far in the morning run and might be low on fuel. Chamak Challo tried. I tried but Shubohit was the man who finally identified the missing part. Someone took away the power plug. The famous Indian juggad was applied and somehow Analyst Ganga managed to set the ignition apparatus right [Later he shared an interesting fact which could have led to this state of bike. He parked his bike in city court’s car parking; the parking guy also complained later about his space loss for approx. 2 cars. Phew! Analyst Ganga just increased the fiscal deficit. Kuch nahi kar sakte uska]. We then moved into Alwar Police control room to take permission for Bala Quilla and were later told by oldie policemen that the ASI people are redoing the monument and kuch nahi ho sakta (is desh ka aur ghade-ki-pooch-se-likhi-gayi kismet ka).

We then decided to test our luck on any random bet. There was a lake whose name popped up a couple of times, but we never considered it seriously. Obviously, bright MBA minds are less likely to visit a lake in a state of deserts. But still, we went on and on and on and missed the cut to lake and moved on and on. It was then Analyst Ganga overtook us and told us that he saw the board to the lake but deliberately chose to ignore it. The biker couple knows best. Readers can speculate.

We finally were on right track. A-Viral, our driver was becoming too irritated with Alwar and honestly, expectations from lake were close to 0. Everybody imagined some water in their heads as lake and had zero happiness for it. We were all driving our curiosity [“we should see atleast something in this stupid city to justify our ROI”].

Slowly the route became greener and structures (Aquaduct) started appearing [see Aquaduct in pic]. Our mentally exhausted driver, a-Viral went mad over these structures. Our navigator Shubohit was briefly in a fix what to do with him! Everytime 5 mins, a-Viral use to shout “Aquaduct! Oye hue awesome”. Terms which could have saved for a female were used on lifeless British era dead structures (sexy). God! Save him and his car.

Life was becoming irritating when we saw this awesome place called “Silised lake” [pronounce as “Silly Said”].

It’s gigantic and one of the biggest lake I have seen till date. The best part – it’s still pristine nature. Turquoise blue water (soo much water) with mountains as backdrop. It’s actually unbelievable types feel when you consider comments saying “in Rasjasthan??”. With tourist count of less than 10, it’s a clean place. It’s a place you can’t stop watching into. It like a naked lady, you just can’t take eyes away from her. Nature at its best. There are provisions for boating but due to very less tourist traffic operating cost may not be feasible. There is a passage on the other side from you can sneak inside the mountain and then go down to lake (that side host the bigger version of lake which is a bit less visually appealing than the other side).

Yaar aur kitna likhu! Some places demand your presence. Go try and you won’t be disappointed. While coming back, we found another viewpoint of the lake. From every side, she is worth it. Return journey was from a different path. How that was identified, dunno! A-Viral asked a biker couple while on the go for the directions. Male and Female are opposite gender and similar were their directions (later, when we started laughing at this, the poor Male soul was seen being scolded n all…). Anyways, we followed the route suggested by the Male and guess what! we entered through the famous Alwar hill from which Hollywood got inspired (or visa versa).

Big guns went to sleep as soon as they saw bed. Evening time and still shamelessly sleeping. Sadolia who joined us post lunch took the unwanted task to wake us up. Bansal sahab tried a lot over phone but MBA students are really sleepy bastards. We somehow are good at crisis management, consequently we reached the party zone with our old pet Black Dog and….enjoyed, danced, bakar, bakar, bakar…Analyst Ganga with Sadolia tried had to impress girls but ghade chahe kitne bhi achi tarha se saj le, ghode nahi ban sakte (no matter how well dresses asses are, they won’t be horses) Still they tried. Party came to end and we returned to our cold dens. Man! Rajasthan is cold at night, really cold, shivering cold, and when winds are blowing, then to alag hi level pe feel aati hai.

Inside the room, Sairska plan was dropped. Inspite of my motivating them, the gang needed sleep (sad/disappointment). Bakar sessions went on and slowly people started to fade. I was the first one with Sankat falling next. Morning, three left via train (Analyst Ganga, Sadolia and Sankat). Another fact, Alwar petrol pumps are notorious when it comes to air-refilling facilities. We found this roadside labourer who had this juggadu machine and first tyre he attempted was a puncture. Good it happened! Else somehow it would have been difficult for me to finish.