Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Answer to the biggest question about Commonwealth Games 2010 @ New Delhi

“CWG – source of silly humour thesedays. Prove it” ------- 10 marks

As a Delhi blogger who had this noble thought to invest his hard earned money to buy CWG 2010 tickets on the first day itself, ‘disappointed’ is what I feel now. However, today when you read my write-up, intend is to make you happy; not disappointed.

We have to go back to the important year of 2003, when India was selected to play the host for 2010 edition of Commonwealth Games. India (the land of non-violence) silently paid an acceptable ‘wealth’ to all commonwealth nations to come here and participate. Under the leadership and guidance of our honourable ‘much’ respectable Suresh Kalmadi, CWG 2010 was allotted to India and from then onwards, it was Suresh Kalmadi’s baby.

The Indian government saw the navigating capabilities in the wings of pilot Kalmadi and formed an OC (organizing committee) to oversee growth of Kalmadi’s baby (i.e. CWG 2010 games). Kalmadi’s foreign aids were two expensive imported Mikes (Mike Hooper and Mike Fenell). Days went pass. Years went pass. The Indian government forgot about the games. But then came...the Indian media

The Indian media ran a reality check and in process discovered nothing but what was obvious – corruption in OC. CWG mess got the 9 PM slot of news channels thanks to numerous financial frauds investigations and Bang Boom Blast happened in OC. The useful abbreviations (CVC, CBI, ED, PMO, etc) came into scene for a few days but still Kalmadi assured the world that his baby is getting healthier day by day. God heard this lie and directed the rain Gods to give Delhi an over flowing Yamunaji (can you believe that!). Heavy rains collapsed all plans of juggad work for Games and since then the baby is transferred to Cabinet Secretary, Delhi CM, and Minister of Urban Development with Prime Minister of the nation watching its growth (indeed a lucky baby).

Lately there are more negatives attached to these games than positives, but I hope you aren’t feeling disappointed. So what if ‘salt packet sized’ countries like New Zealand, Whales and Scotland pokes you with their hygiene standards and then without any justification complains about dogs using beds and paan stains and dangerous sockets and filth and dengue and security. Man! this complaining is so very imperialistic…so very uncool!! Surely Birmingham is behind this (let special branch of Delhi Police investigate this and submit a report).

And by the way, why are these countries cribbing at all. Haven’t they researched that paan is a flavour of perfume (also condom nowdays). It erases your stress, especially after that lane-designed traffic mess. Somebody please tell them that the strains were to ‘globalify’ paan (one of the cheapest food items which can be quite handy during the times of recession in commonwealth).

And hey, how dare do they complain about dogs using beds. If athletes who run 100 metres deserve a lavish sleep; have a heart for these dogs that run miles on Delhi pot-roads. Animal lovers? PETA? Where are you?

About the more serious security issue. As an Indian I can assure you about foolproof security. Infact you will most probably be getting an individual army soldier as he is now abundant. He is now even making pedestrian bridges for us; a fine example of building the nation (saving the country as usual).

Then there is another very amusing story. South Africa ambassador to India finds a snake! Isn’t South Africans known to love wildlife? Why can’t he arrange a visa for that poor lean flexible specie and rehabilitate him in South Africa? Afterall Delhi is on a mass cleaning mission (say no to authorised species be it snakes or monkeys or migrants).

Oh! I forgot to tell you about my hygiene standards. They are surely different from that of Lalit Bhanot. You see we are diverse in India and we are diverse in everything.

And how can we miss out on our sports minister; CWG is a shaadi for him. For many b-school students, CWG mess is now a case study and a prime example of ‘juggad-theory’ failure. It seems that the preparation of CWG resembles the last minute preparations by a student before his exam. In reality the student might pass but the probability that he will top this way is rationally low.

Lastly, you must be asking what about CWG 2010’s mascot Shera (my friend). I met him yesterday and he told my disappointed soul something by which he is still bearing a smile. As Shera says “bade bade desho mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai”.

Just a second, somebody is there at the door. Oh! It’s the private courier wala with my commonwealth tickets for opening ceremony. See you there and hey! Do spot me in that 40-50 crore Helium balloon.

ps: apologies for not mentioning about athletes. Hope you are not disappointed (and if incase you are, try making a Jaane Bhi Do Yaroon, afterall you won’t get a better opportunity)

SPEAKing PICtures will be back with the review of the opening ceremony of Commonwealth Games 2010.
Till then LET US ALL SUPPORT THESE GAMES.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Creative Shoots @ Old Delhi

Old Delhi is not just food. There is no shortage for shooting exciting creative moments there. Some stills I took during my recent trip to old Delhi –

1) Old Delhi curfew look – Chandni Chowk Market is absent on Sundays. A perfect opportunity to take a silent picture there. Nobody will believe it’s actually old Delhi.
2) Count your Pigeons? Observe the different figures of pigeons. (I messed up a perfect set-up, still to learn basics of still photography)
3) Karan Arjun (duplicate) with Red Fort in backdrop. Simply Awesome

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

DaBang - DA 'big' BANG Salman starrer

A lot of years back some foreign scientists discovered THE BANG theory (for some that was BIG enough entertainment). But some people in India thought we need to do something extra for entertainment, so they created the desi sounding Da Bang (which eventually entertains more…very much more).

Story –
Story of Dabang is something staple for bollywood. Steps to generate 1 –

1) Choose a hero - Take the industry stud (a famous one), give him the police wardi with rule-breaking tactics and ask him to keep a symbolic moustache to get that UP look.
2) Choose a heroine - a new face to work with our stud. Make sure her surname is commonly known.
3) Add a plot – Take an anti K-Jo’s WE ARE FAMILY stand and create the hate angle between our stud and his step bro and step papa. Let there be ma to console.
4) Pick the villain – Try to find a fool who inspite of looking so helpless can dream to be deadly like Mogambo. Give him the techniques to motivate the step bro to go against the stud.
5) Use the glue - throw in a lot of PJs/one-liners to join the above mentioned steps in a cohesive manner and make a movie out of these steps.
6) Publicity – Follow “da BIG bang” Dabang promo campaign wherever you go. Also, ask your stud to wear ‘desified’ RayBan goggs with striking little hearts to get that awesome poster look.
7) God's Help - Place your bets on the stud and wait it EID.

Casting –
The industry stud, Salman Khan plays the role of dabang inspector Chulbul Pandey. This role (infact the whole movie) is written for him. His dialogue delivery and action sequences are perfect. The trained eye will appreciate the effort put in by Salman in this movie, whose producers are his very own bhaiya-bhabhi. Infact, if we replace Salman Khan with Ravi Kishan, Dabang will become a Bhojpuri movie; Salman takes it from Bhojpuri to Bollywood.

Heroine Rajjo in the movie is Sonakshi Sinha (daughter of Mr. Khamosh, guess who?). She is good in Dabang and will gain a lot of leverage from this. Rest of the cast (Vinod Khanna, Dimple Kapadia, etc) is satisfactory. Except two persons. Firstly, Arbaaz Khan (again that dead wood acting from him) and secondly, Sonu Sood (plays the villain Cheddi Singh). Will any sensible person cast a tamed spider-like-personality in front of Spiderman! No obviously. Then why cast a Sonu Sood in front of Salman Khan? They should have watched Singh Is King carefully (remember! Sonu Sood was the real King in that movie).

The music by Sajid-Wajid suits the Dabang style. Direction is good but screenplay is loose in parts. Salman’s earlier flick WANTED had more grip over story.

Speaking Pictures’s verdict – watch in Cineplex in front row seats and enjoy Chulbul Pandey.
Rating 3/5 (paisa vasool)

Where does Salman go after Dabang?
Salman Khan, one of KHAN pillars of bollywood industry realizes that he can’t pull off SRK’s romantic flicks or Aamir’s superior class. Salman’s USP is his body and not his acting. He knows this fact and is therefore, trying to create a different liking for himself. Paisa Vasool entertainers are now his forte…expect more

ps: can Steven Spielberg and James Cameron make DABANG in Amerika with their latest technology? Na! I guess even they have to do this the Indian way.

(thanks to Indra devta & Shanky for rains, I watched Dabang in a Cineplex and not in a multiplex. All smiles)